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23 years old, problem with parents

Hello, I wish a moderator can move this thread to the appropriate forum because I didn't know where to put it otherwise.

I grew in a very loving environment, and caring family, since I got asthma since I was 1, and I'm the lonely kid among 3 girls in the family. A bit, too spoiled.

However, when I grew up, my parents always wanted the best of me, I have 3 cousins at my age, and I was always expected to be the best, all eyes on me, and I'm not that good with studying. Any trouble with schooling always resulted in my dad/mom yelling at me/disciplining me.

When I grew up more, I went into small college to study nursing, was my call because I didn't know what else to do, and I wasn't even sure I like this subject, I was kinda lost and didn't know of how many options out there to pick, I just wanted a small subject to finesh very early and not work very hard.

When something bad happens, I always got the blame on me, even in car accidents when the brakes didn't hold (not because of speed), or a problem with a teacher, or anything, I got the blames for some reason.. and even if they didn't say it directly, I felt it from them.

One day my dad knew I skipped few lessons in college (I was 20), and he yelled at me and insulted me infront of the whole family (including uncles and grandpa/mas ...) and I felt so degraded, and since then I started to feel distinct from the family, so.. offline, I stopped sitting with my parents for a little chat like we used to do when I was young, I don't even feel comfortable in their presence anymore ...

I want to know if this is normal for a guy at my age, 23 years old, to feel this way toward his parents, though I realy believe it's not, because I realy feel awkward and discomfort in their presence, and talking to them makes me sick (FOR SOME REASON/S ...).

I would apreciate any help from experienced people because this problem is realy killing my parents. they feel that I have changed, and I realy don't wanna upset them or depress them, but I can't control the way I feel toward them. Please help. Thanks.
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replied October 17th, 2008
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I think it's totally normal --- you fee hurt and upset.

However, I think that instead of distancing yourself from them, that you should talk to your parents. Tell them your feelings. Lay everything on the table. If they are able, they can apologize. That's all you want, right? If they aren't...at least you let them know how you feel and they aren't guessing.

crystal
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replied October 17th, 2008
Experienced User
the thing is, i feel realy closed about talking to them, I dont know why, but I think maybe because everytime I tried to tell them something or let them know about a problem I have, they always used to blame me for it ... they don't mean to push me away, they love me and worry about me all the time, but they just have the wrong method for approaching me. and if I try to argue with them they just don't listen..
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replied October 20th, 2008
Experienced User
I see. You might want to seek the help of a mediator...like a neutral family member or even a family therapist. This person can help you in the communication process. Together you and your parents set up rules (no interrupting, no talking over one another, no blaming)...and then you talk about the issues. Kind of like a court of law.

Is there anyone who can fit that description? If not, try this directory search to

Locate a family therapist

Family therapy info here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/print/family-the rapy/HQ00662/METHOD=print
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replied October 20th, 2008
Experienced User
Alright, thank you ^^
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