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20 years old and 23 weeks pregnant, scared and confused

I`m 20 years old, living with my mother, and money is tight
I found out 3 weeks ago I was pregnant, about 5 months so.
I had no idea, the only reason I took a test was because I felt her(yes, its a little girl) move around when I was with the father

The baby was conceived while me and the father were still together, but we have since broke up.
When I told him about the news he was very supportive, but at that time we were planning abortion. After a lot of thinking, and seeing the ultrasound of my daughter I have decided to keep her.

After telling him my plans, he has become a lot more distant...which I never thought would happen because we have been friends for 4 years prior to this pregnancy...

What can I do to get him to become more supportive?
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replied April 26th, 2012
Active User, very eHealthy
Frankly, the only thing you can do is give him time and space. It's a lot to take in that you are 5 months pregnant (the baby will be here in 4 months, maybe sooner!) and in his mind you were going to have the pregnancy terminated but now you've changed your mind. You don't know what he is thinking (and neither do I) but he could be thinking that you're trying to get him to settle down or "trap" him or get him back or any other number of things. He may not even be sure it's his, depending on how long ago you broke up and why. Your best move right now is to leave him be. Give him space and time to think and breathe. Don't ask him to talk if he doesn't want to talk. Don't beg, don't nag. Just give him space. If you haven't heard from him in 3 or 4 weeks, then call him and ask him if you can meet to talk. Whenever you do talk, don't start sentences with "You..." or make it feel like you're attacking him. You need to just come up with a plan of action. It's okay to tell him how you feel, just don't blame him and it's also important to try to understand how he feels. You need to come together for the best interest of your child, you just need to give him space and time right now to get his mind together. You are not going to have the baby in the next month, you're not going to suddenly become unpregnant (god willing!), he is not going to forget that you are pregnant, so just give it time and see what happens. I know it's hard, but it's what needs to happen if you want a chance at a positive outcome. Be strong!
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