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hello there. i thought i''d create this topic to see what every one thinks of my present predicament, and to hopefully attain some feedback. to cut a long story short, i am a guy who is 21 (currently in second year of university, if that matters) and is a virgin, i have never had a girlfriend, or had sex or kissed a girl or done anything like that and this is not for lack of wanting though. i try not to dwell on this too much, but sometimes i can not help it and it darkens my days. for i see all my male friends easily getting with girls and being in long term relationships with some lovely ladies. but, throughout my life the chance has just never arisen, no girl has ever showed even even an ounce of interest in me in that way and i am worried that this trend is going to continue in my life, creating irreparable repercussions. in contrast to a lot of folks in my situation, the years of just... nothing means that i am not at all nervous to talk to any girls ever. i am always my self and relatively confident and can talk with them as well as the next guy because i don''t fear having to make a great first impression or anything, as nothing ever comes from it. i have been told i am an attractive and funny guy and people seem really shocked when i have no stories about women to tell or my times with girls, for example. basically, i am not really sure what i am doing wrong, as i have a normal amount of female friends (including some very good friends who are female) and make sure i go out to pubs and clubs and parties and general other places. so i am just generally wondering how it is that nothing has ever really happened for me (as it seems to for all of my friends, for i am the last of us in my position). i guess, ultimately, i am at a bit of a loss and the whole situation is rather depressing and creates a feeling of isolation, to an extent. i''d be very grateful for any ideas on how i could turn this situation around or what might be causing it. thanks, xx.
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First Helper youngbutstrong
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replied April 12th, 2010
apologies for the slight wall of text there. x
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replied April 12th, 2010
in my opinion i think you arent missing out on much. sex = drama and problems. i had 3 sex partners before my husband and i really regret it. i am his first and i cant say that i am to him. i think its meant to be shared with someone you love rather than some girl you wont remember 5 years from now. i think its cool you have not done it. and i think the girl you are meant to be with will love you more for it. dont go looking for it it will definatly come to you.
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replied April 25th, 2010
im 20 and in the same boat. 2nd year uni and all. im a dj, ppl say im cute. but i cant attract a girl at all. ppl ask me for stories and i hav none then theyre shocked. its lame but iv kinda given up altogether. life is a strange beast
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replied May 17th, 2010
When i was your age i was single and thought i have plenty of time well im 44 now and have now been single for 21 years. As you get older your lack of experience becomes more and more of a problem until you reach the point that you are too late for love and no one will give you a chance. In my case its simple case of i aint got te looks and in this shallow world looks are everything. Forget the fact i have every things else, its not enouth. I wish you luck and if you are good looking get on a dating site soon. 21 and never had a girlfreid is cute, 25 is frekish. You have 4 years. Good luck
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replied June 8th, 2010
I'm a 21 year old virgin too.
Don't let the fact that you never had sex bother you. It'll happen when it's time and when it does you'll think it's worth the wait.
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replied June 10th, 2010
i'm 29 and have been single all my life. dont think i'm bad looking. not sure why it hasnt worked out. so, arborescence, you have 8 years on me.
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replied June 10th, 2010
Experienced User
i'm 21 aswell and have just finished Uni, i am in the same position of beeing singal in fact i am so sucsesfuly single that i regard myself as celibate.

i have sucsesful feiendships and have lernt to find the conpanyonship i need there, what i would say is that cultervating friendships is properly the way forward and stop overtly trying for a parter it puts girls off, the best relationships grow from friendships, they also last longer.
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replied June 13th, 2010
I am 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend. I am in the same boat as you. I have guy friends, go out, etc so I also do not know what I am doing wrong! Feel free to message me.
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replied July 19th, 2010
in a girl and i wish i didnt loose it at a young age but i was a real naughty teen and hormones crazy=mistakes soo please sex is sex who cares theres better things to do adrenaline rushes way better
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replied October 29th, 2010
Yo if you want sex you have to let the ladies know you're sexually active man go after it, you're the man don't wait for it! its healthier that way, a woman isn't going to throw herself at you unless she's fast/hoe-ish so it would be better for you to go after it trust me. As a man you have to take control dont worry about being rejected or anything like that, rejection helps your communication grow in that particular situation. dont rape no one though lol
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replied October 29th, 2010
Yo if you want sex you have to let the ladies know you're sexually active man go after it, you're the man don't wait for it! its healthier that way, a woman isn't going to throw herself at you unless she's fast/hoe-ish so it would be better for you to go after it trust me. As a man you have to take control dont worry about being rejected or anything like that, rejection helps your communication grow in that particular situation. dont rape no one though lol
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replied November 6th, 2010
About all of you's situation
I am 21, borderline 22 already and I've had three girlfriends now. 1 in real life and 2 as long distance relationships.

I see what your problem is though: it isn't the lack of sex or losing your virginity. It is the fact that you have had no girlfriend at all! Believe me I was in the same situation too on my teenage years - all guys had beautiful girls - yes, even the ugly ones - and I had no one.

Let me ask all of you a question though: have you tried to risk your ego out to someone to ask them out on dates? I cannot do so as I am still a University student and I don't work so I have no money, but most of you can.

As for the 44 y.o. single: look, it's not that you CAN'T get a girlfriend - there are beautiful girls going out with ugly guys (hell, sometimes even I have been shocked at the very unlikely couples between hot women that everyone desires and the ugly man), your problem is the same as described above plus that you are too nice.

Here's my suggestions:

1) Do not resort to being asexually nice in order to be pleasant to women! Being asexual is sure way to get anyone ditched or not noticed. I had only one girlfriend at high school and I don't even talk to her anymore due to my life taking a sharp turn, and she was cute, but I aspired for the bigger leagues - my hot colleagues. Now I know that more than one girl liked me, and yes, I am very damn handsome, I could have had tons of women going down on me if I would have played my cards right.

2) Don't just talk to girls - be a bit physical! Hold their hand, hug them, show them that you appreciate them and be risky with it - but not to the point that it'd be too offensive and she'll ditch you for being a jerk anyways! Also, please, if you walk in a funny way, have bad manners at the table, have any sort of body odors, or you look at girls just too god damn creepy (like you want to rape them) try to change that NOW! Girls expect you to look and act the part, so re-learn how to walk if necessary and how to dress properly - as in, learn which color of pants go with what color of shirt, shoes you can wear with X clothes, all of that. Always dress and act your best(and don't look at women in a stressful way or stare at them idly), girls will notice you.

3)If girls compliment you, read between the lines. She might just be waiting to be asked out! (Alright, not ALL cases, but some are, and you might have a chance if she is single and looking). Trust me, more often than not this is what happened to me in my high school years and somewhat now. Women always look for that one guy who will take the chance, besides the worst you can get is a "no" not a "don't ever talk to me".

4) Women, like us, are very conforming creatures. If they don't see your interest they will sit front row for the next best thing, which is your friendship. If you want someone that bad, don't let it happen and go for it. Of course, you have to develop a close rapport with her and make her trust you FIRST (and keep that trust!), but don't let her go her way thinking she and you are never going to be together. I remember this time where I was always there for a girl and I always led her to believe I was interested on her (which I was), and I was almost at the front door of a relationship with her when I asked the most stupid question that my lips could have uttered instead of following my ego and the fact that she was interested in me and she wanted to ditch the guy she was with! My morals prevailed, but up to this day I regret it because she is beautiful and if there is ever another chance I'd take it on.

Also, be sure to have a job or at least 1000 dollars to spend on her. Girls love to go out and receive gifts so be sure to do it, but don't lavish her or you'll end up resenting it. Be sparingly but meaningful as to how you give them, even a valentine's card with a well written paragraph of your feelings to her helps! Or, if you don't have cash to take her out or give her expensive gifts be creative with what you have. Most of us have a talent (yes, even writing and electronics) to make something for our loved ones. I do graphics, letters, songs (I am a guitarrist) and web designs for them with subtle messages that women catch in there. Also, if you don't want to be in ridicule get a car. At first it's okay if you do not, but eventually you will have to have one, it's just too embarrassing to be with a girl at a nice restaurant and not have a car to take her home.

My advice, in short, is: change what needs to be changed, express your feelings openly when the chance arises, and just take it easy, the world is not going to end if a girl tells you "no"; become a better person and for the love of God, have some cash or be creative.
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