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3.5 year old boy pooping in pants (Page 1)

My son has been toilet trained for a couple of months. Peeing and pooping. He is also trained at night. labour Day weekend, my husband went away, and ever since he came back...my son has been pooping in his pants. I thought it was just a attention thing, but it has been almost three weeks, and is still doing it. I am at my wits end. I have tried everything. We have gone backwards. I am getting tried of cleaning it up. Tonight I made him sit in it for a few minutes longer. It didn;t bother him a bit. I tried to explain to him, that he is a big boy, and big boys poop in the toilet....and told him all of his friends poop in the potty too. HELP!!!!
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First Helper momlyof6
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replied September 20th, 2008
Community Volunteer
My nephew had the same issue...

His mom took away his potty chair and placed him back in diapers as only babies pee & poop in their pants she explained.

He was OK for a short while and then decided that he no longer wanted to be a baby and wear a diaper...

Has your son given you and / or your husband some sort of explanation (that a 3 1/2 year can give) as to why he poops his pants?

Maybe by removing something that he truly loves and reward him when his does right will get him back on track?

Come to think of it...my daughter (now 20)...I did have an issue with her pooping in the toilet...she did OK for a while and then she stopped...discovered that by her pooping in the potty spooked her, to see what came out of her scared her but it was different with a diaper as she did not see it. Finally she would poop in the potty but did not want to see it. That worked out fine. Until she started to use the regular toilet, flushing absolutely terrified her...she finally outgrew that as well.

Not saying this is the same with your son but just my personal experience.

~Zig
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replied April 28th, 2009
poopy boys
I too have a 3.5yr old boy that has been poddy trained for months. He hasn't had any accidents at day care,but once every day for the last three days he's messed himself. He seems to be waiting untill last minute and starts holding himself and says "i can't hold it" as it starts to 'exit'. We took the tv the first night (and he hasnt got it back) b/c he said he didnt want to stop watching his show, put him to bed early last night,after a bath, and today..at mcdonald by the way, i cleaned up as best i could and made him ware them all the way home and then for a while. His responce is that I'm being mean to him. WHAT DO I DO? DID U FIGURE IT OUT?
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replied August 29th, 2009
My son didn't figure all of this out until age 5. It was a nightmare. By age 2 he stopped wetting at night. By 3.5 he used the potty to pee. But he would hold in his poop and "smudge" or just poop himself. We tried tough love, we tried stickers, other rewards, long talks, books, doctors, on and on.
December came around. This sounds awful, but we were at our wits end...we told him Santa did not bring toys to 5 yearolds who pooped thier pants. All of December he did great. We also used the method that had worked best in the past, everyday at 4pm he had to go poop. It took a few weeks for his body to regulate itself, but now he does it all on his own. After Christmas we told him, "Now we know you can poop in the potty like a big boy, no excuses" Big boys also get to stay up a tad later, but not if they did not use the potty. Anyhow, long involved I know, but it worked for us!
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replied December 5th, 2011
this needs to stop
this sounds like a great idea but my son is so stubborn.he"ll turn 4 in mid janurary and been trained for over a year.hes like doin it in spells.wont do it for a couple of months then do it for a couple of months.its so stressful.I work 2 jobs and when i get home i dont wanna clean up poop.hes doing it up to 3 times per day.i thought it was because he was being lazy while playing video games,but i took them away, and he still does it.he wasnt doing this at daycare.i dont understand whats going on.
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replied January 13th, 2010
3 year old girl poopin her pants
I have 3 year old little girl and just recently had another and every since I brought the new baby home my 3 year started poopin in her pants. This has been going on for 5 months now and I have tried everything from taking all of her toys away including her tv, time out, rewarding her when she does go, telling her only babies do that. I asked her doctor what to do and he said put her on the same level as the baby, how do you do that with a baby that does poop her pants. Should I put her back In diapers or pullups? I NEED HELP!
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replied February 19th, 2010
Community Volunteer
Re: 3 year old girl poopin her pants
ashleydaugherty02 wrote:
I have 3 year old little girl and just recently had another and every since I brought the new baby home my 3 year started poopin in her pants. This has been going on for 5 months now and I have tried everything from taking all of her toys away including her tv, time out, rewarding her when she does go, telling her only babies do that. I asked her doctor what to do and he said put her on the same level as the baby, how do you do that with a baby that does poop her pants. Should I put her back In diapers or pullups? I NEED HELP!
Children will sometimes regress into their "younger" years if a sudden change has happened, such as a new baby, divorce, move, etc. You shouldn't punish her, however if rewards are not helping, I suggest putting her back into pull-ups and letting her know that there is a potty for that and that she is a big girl and can use the potty, her baby sister is a baby and cannot use the potty. Reassure her that you love her just as much as her baby sister. Have her help out with her new sibling, help you by bringing diapers, wipes, helping you feed the baby. Sometimes a child will regress if they feel left out or feel that their time with a loved one is threatened, so be sure to include her in the care of the new one as much as she wants, as long as it is not interfering with naps or disrupting the baby's schedule.
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replied May 14th, 2010
HELP
where do i start my son is nearly 4 years old and he has been out of nappies for nearly 2 years he never wees himself but poos himself alot he was born with hichsprungs and had an operation but after many check ups the surgen has said his pooing himself as nothing to do with this ... i have a 18 month old and cnt even say he started doin this when the baby was born. i have tried everything and when i say everythin i mean absolutly everything we have took things away rewarded goin on the toilet spent time talking about it made him go back to nappies so show only babies poo themselfs ignored it and just cleaned him made him clean himself left him to sit in it ... some may seem harsh but when this has gone on for 2 years and he understands what is going on i have no idea what to do anymore.He will go on the toilet several times in the week and can have clean pants for a couple of days then out of the blue he will poo himself 3 or more times a day ... i am pregnant with my 3rd baby due in september and am at my wits end well and truley i really dont no what to do anymore he seems to be clean for a few dya then for a solid week he will soil himself when we talk to him about it he either says it just came out, i was busy playing or i didnt need to go he is a clever boy and knows exactly what he is doin but nothing i do or say seems to work please HELP if you can.
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replied June 1st, 2011
Poopy 3.5 year old
Oh my God this is my life!!! My son has been pooping himself for 6 months now and I am starting to get REALLY angry. My daughter who is just over 2 is still in nappies because I am 5 months pregnant and can't handle the idea of cleaning up two sets of messes. Lately, and I am not proud of this, I yelled at him because I am just at my wits end...HELP?
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replied December 7th, 2011
So sorry you are having trouble but please realize that you are on the right track when you said this is your life. This is life. It is not your son's fault, he is not a "bad boy" and it is not your fault. However, please be careful of associating poop with a bad experience for him, as he cannot realize how hard it is for you. My son regressed at age 3.5, and I yelled at him thinking he would change by threats. That resulted in him not pooping for 3 days and when he did it was in a corner, hidden from my eyes. How I solved it: I told him mommy was sorry for yelling at him and I would never do so again while looking him straight in his eyes. Then I told him he is welcome to poop in his pants. After a bit we started a more light-hearted approach by making gentle reminders that he is welcome to poop in the potty but he does not have to. Always gentle, always good-spirited. After a while, introduce a reward or two (immediate) for pooping in the potty. This will take extreme patience on your part, and very extreme patience, but it will pay off in the end. It did for us.
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replied June 14th, 2010
i have the same problem with my 3 and a half year old boy they tell me at preschool he poops on the toliet but at home he does it in his pants or nappy in the morning when he wakes up , wish he would just use the toliet for this at home dont know why he does it our toliet is out sde in the porch are conected to the house which is in the was house maybe the cold stops him going out there if we had a toliet in the house maybe things would be diffrent am trying the sticker chart thing at the mo to see if that helps. please any one with advice any ifo thanks or help?
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replied June 15th, 2010
melzy wrote:
i have the same problem with my 3 and a half year old boy they tell me at preschool he poops on the toliet but at home he does it in his pants or nappy in the morning when he wakes up , wish he would just use the toliet for this at home dont know why he does it our toliet is out sde in the porch are conected to the house which is in the was house maybe the cold stops him going out there if we had a toliet in the house maybe things would be diffrent am trying the sticker chart thing at the mo to see if that helps. please any one with advice any ifo thanks or help?
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replied June 26th, 2010
I have the same problem my 3.5 year old son is potty trained poop/pee since he was 2-2.5 now all of a sudden he poops his pants and its so frustrating b/c I see that he is holding it until the very last minute. We use to spank his butt which worked for a min but then realized that isn't working anymore. So now I just give him lectures about being a big boy and not pooping in his pants because baby brother looks up to him. Although its not everyday he would poop in his pants but any day is nerve wrecking to me. And one thing I absolutely cant get a handle on is his peeing in the bed. That's the hardest right now been doing that for over a year now. Ughhh that's the challenge! Any suggestions for that especially!
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replied June 26th, 2010
4year old bo constant pooing accidents
i have the same thing i started potty training my son a year ago when he was 3 he cracked weeing then started pooing on the toilet and even going to bed at the right time(hyper boy )unfortantaly i lost my dad in jan his grandad who dress as santa i kept my chin up told him hes in heaven as he kept askin then he said is alright now and can we go there bless its possible this started it again but it has been months of constant accidents to the point he wont let anyone clean him hes very sore i asked doctors no help im worried he got school in few months do i try the back in nappies as he pulls them down for wee its pushin us apart too any suggestions please thank you
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replied June 26th, 2010
my son for the first time actually did a number 2 on toliet today , was so proud of him gave him 2 stars
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replied June 29th, 2010
In response to all of the above issues around 3 year olds etc
My daughter is nearly 4 and was toilet trained from 2. Has been having relapses every so often. I have had a bit of experience with these things so here is what I recommend for anyone else that is struggling through similar issues
1. It is normal for children to relapse with toileting a few times but this usually resolves by age 4. Most kids only get true sensation of when they need to go to the toilet when they are 3yrs old.
2. Is there a medical reason for them doing this. I would first rule out a urinary tract infection as this can lead to soiling and wetting. And the main one is are they constipated? Most kids who have ongoing issues with soiling are constipated. The lower bowel gets overstretched and the poo leaks out around the mass of poo sitting in the lower bowel. The child is not aware of this happening. this is where you get small amounts of poo often. Check and see how often they actually do a full size poo. Doctor can feel thier tummy to see if this is the issue and use of laxatives from anywhere from 2weeks to several years (depending how long the constipation has been there) will keep on top of this. And sitting at a regular time on toilet each day with knees higher than their hips, and leaning slightly forward.
3. Is there a psychological reason why they are not using the toilet - scared of toilet monsters etc. Is it too cold in there for them?
4. What is you previous responses to your child when they have had "accidents" and could this be improved on with a gentler approach
5. New babies in the house often regress older siblings to "baby like" behaviour
6. Try star charts. Could do one simply for them telling you they have had an "accident", for doing poo on the toilet, or for going a whole day with clean undies
7. Remember toilet training is about teaching them the correct place to go to the toilet. It does not teach sensation to go to the toilet. If your child was previouslt "toilet trained" at a young age, then was this more a programmed routine or did they actually have the full sensations there? Remember these don't kick in till age 3 in most kids. These type of kids may need "re-programming" to recognise the sensation to go toilet rather then go at a certain time of day.
Hope this has helped some of you parents out there or given some "food for thought" at least Smile
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replied January 3rd, 2011
My son is almost 3 he pees onthe potty, but refuses to poop. He is a night pooper and does it after I put him to bed. He has pooped in his drawer 3 times and twice in his closet, otherwise he just goes in his pants and calls me and tells me he is poopy. I try not to get frustrated and tell him to tell when he has to go. I dont understand how he can go all day peeing on the potty but when it comes to pooping he would rather do it in his pants... PLEASE HELP
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replied January 3rd, 2011
My son has just turned 4 he has been toilet trained for about a year and a bit. Over the last 2 weeks he has regressed to pooing in his pants. He has also began wetting the bed again. He goes very quiet when he needs a poo and i ask him if he needs to go to the toilet which he will say no to then stand right in front of me and pee and poo his pants! It is so frustrating! I have tried to talk to him, ask him why he is doing it, when i have just asked him if he needed the toilet to which he replied "because i'm a baby".

We do nothig but tell him he is a big boy all the time with encouragement in everything he does. I don't know what to do we have tried rewarding him if he does poo in the pan, i have sent him to his room and tonight i have told him i am taking his bike away until he can behave like a big boy. He went to bed very upset and i feel terrible but have no idea where i am going wrong here. There hasn't been any big changes recently in our lives, his routine has been knocked off a bit as he has been on holida from nursery over Christmas and new year but surely this wouldn't have such an effect, would it?Help!
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replied March 1st, 2011
My daughter is 4 years old. She just started kindy. Turned four about 3 months ago. She has a week or so where she goes to the toilet fine and then she will go back to kneeling in her room and let a little poo come out. I found out today she had poo in her undies all day at kindy. I am so frustrated. I have tried the gentle approach, I have gotten angry, I have smacked her. I have taken away things she loves, I have had loving chats with her about what it is to be a big girl but nothing works, when i ask why she poos herself she cries and says i dont know. I really am at my wits end. Please help me!
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replied April 15th, 2011
"Accidents"
From reading previous posts seems like relapse of potty training is common at the age 3 1/2 to 4. My son was potty training at 2 1/2 and this last year has had issues with poo in his pants. He sneaks off to a corner or an empty room and sits flat on his bum in silence. Now I know, so I usually follow him, or find him. I politly ask if he needs to use the potty and its always NO. And 5 minutes later...there are track marks in his underwear! He tells me it takes to long to poo in the toilet. I leave a small basket of toys and books in his bathroom and that sometimes will work. Taking a bath always seems to help with him pooping in the toilet. He won't go in the tub...so every night after dinner its bath time and he usually will go then, but its during the day he has soiled underwear. I don't know what to do except wait it out. Seems like around age 5 is when this behavior "works itself out". At least that is what I read. Good luck to everyone! Eventually our boys will get it Smile
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replied April 21st, 2011
My son is 3.5 and has been peeing for a long time on the pottie just will not poop on it and I am so so sick of it I could puke it is embarressing and he can't go to preschool til he quits I have took things away gave presents stickers EVERYTHING its awful I don't know what to do anymore!!! I have took aways EVERYTHING he has there are no toys left after the last time he did it and then 5 mins later he still poops his pants he doesn't know he does it and DOES not care at all!! please someone HELP!!!!
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replied August 14th, 2011
Seen this ..
i have seen this before.all you gotta to is tell him that all of his friends in preschool love pooping on the potty and mommy does too and if your son doesn't poop in the potty then mommy wont buy him toys anymore and also tell him santa doesn't give toys to 3 year olds that don't poop in the potty and tell him it's really easy to do it Smile
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replied September 1st, 2011
Well it appears that everyone has the same issue and no one has any answers. Our 4 year-olds are regressing back to pooping and/or peeing in their pants. My 4 year old son just started this a few days ago. Nothing has changed however in our lives.

Not sure if a child of this age is capable of attention getting acts as the so-called "professionals" suggest. I also do not think they are capable of doing this out of spite. My son will do it, get punished (cries a lot), we clean him up, and his is back to lovey dovey like nothing happened. He might even use the bathroom again for a time or two. My sister also had this same issue when her son was 4. She made her son clean his underwear every time. He hated it because it stunk so much. It took him less than a week and he never did it again. We are going to try this tomorrow.

Oh also we put him back in pullups. We cannot take anything from him because he really doesn't care at all. Timeout is a joke as he will sit there for an hour if we left him that long with no complaints.

VERY frustrating but reasuuring that this is relatively normal with some kids and appears not to last long.
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replied November 29th, 2011
five year old started pooping out of nowhere
I have the same issue with my son but he just turned 5 on halloween. He has been potty trained since age 2. this messes in his pants started last week, and it is breaking me and my fiancees relationship up. he will watch him while i work and does it then and while im home...he does it period. ive tried everything. my fiance voice text me and said he is leaving for a couple days cuz this is ridiculous and nerve racking...and it is...im sitting here at work beyond pissed that he keeps doin this....
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replied March 17th, 2012
5 yr old starts pooping his pants
This is a big red flag in sexual molestation.... obviously i dont know your fiance but i think you should have some honest conversations with your son, ( without your fiancee around), he may be scared to tell you since you have been frustrated with the accidents. My sister is a childs mental health therapist and we had this conversation yesterday. Dont want to upset you but your childs welfare is my concern
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