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working with extreme Anxiety? I cannot keep a job

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Hello,

This has been a problem for me for over 5 years now and I really really need help. I cannot keep a job, I've had so many jobs in the last 5 years I can't even keep count, all have been in different fields- some more demanding than others while some are super relaxed and easy. It doesn't matter what job I get, usually three months is my max before my anxiety completely shuts me down.

There are no words for how horrible these last 5 years have been, I so badly want to work and contribute to the world and yet every time I start to pick myself up and get my life going I come right back to a crashing halt. The anxiety usually starts off slow, like I worry before bedtime about going to work but its nothing to bad. Then I start feeling anxious in the morning but once I start working I feel better. This pattern goes on for about 2-3 weeks. Then I hit a sort of wall, my anxiety amps right up and I can no longer sleep at night, I have crying spells, I start hurting myself, panic attacks in the parking lot before I get out of the car to go to work, unable to eat, constant headaches and I'm always nauseous. On my days off I pace the house all day and depression starts taking over along with such an extreme feeling of dread and loneliness that death starts feeling like my only escape. I feel so guilty that my fiancee and my family are constantly supporting me I try to push through the anxiety until I start doing stupid dangerous things like walking on busy roads without looking hoping I'll get killed or hurt enough I don't have to work. The longest I've ever made it was six months before I walked in, quit on the spot and walked out- normally I can only go three months before this happens.

I hate myself for being so useless, I'm a grown adult yet I cannot provide for myself. Without my family I'd be on the streets right now. I've gone to multiple doctors who have all put me on multiple pills and not one of them has even remotely helped me. I've gone to the ER and I was turned away twice after completing a quick questionnaire and I was literally told that based on my answers there is nothing they can do for me except keep me in a guarded room if I felt like committing suicide. I've thought about seeing a therapist but they are so expensive and I would have to ask for the money from my family who is already struggling as it is. I've even tried the herbal route with little success.

I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and angry, I just honestly wish everything would end so I wouldn't have to put up with my anxiety; but I am far to much a coward to end my life and I don't want to hurt my family anymore than I already have. Please, somebody, if you have any suggestions please tell me.
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First Helper panda009
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Users who thank Rinz for this post: navsahni 

replied October 11th, 2015
Hi there,
I know what your going through. I struggle with social anxiety and have gone through many jobs because every job i did have people would talk so much! and it would get me all worked up. Thankfully i've found a job where it's all about the work and less talk, have been there 3 years now.

Can your doctor refer you to a therapist? Saying that doctors are free in the UK, not sure where your from and if you have to pay for healthcare etc.

Do you have any family or friends you can talk to about this so they could try and give you different ideas?

Maybe you could try taking up a hobby, pilates has helped me in a small way. Exercise may be very beneficial in making you feel better.

Sorry i have no real answer, just small suggestions. I hope you manage to find a way through this. Anxiety can be controlled with the right method for you, it's just finding that method.
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Users who thank panda009 for this post: navsahni 

replied October 11th, 2015
Hi there,
I know what your going through. I struggle with social anxiety and have gone through many jobs because every job i did have people would talk so much! and it would get me all worked up. Thankfully i've found a job where it's all about the work and less talk, have been there 3 years now.

Can your doctor refer you to a therapist? Saying that doctors are free in the UK, not sure where your from and if you have to pay for healthcare etc.

Do you have any family or friends you can talk to about this so they could try and give you different ideas?

Maybe you could try taking up a hobby, pilates has helped me in a small way. Exercise may be very beneficial in making you feel better.

Sorry i have no real answer, just small suggestions. I hope you manage to find a way through this. Anxiety can be controlled with the right method for you, it's just finding that method.
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Users who thank panda009 for this post: navsahni 

replied October 15th, 2015
Hello ,


You must manage your stress and focus on doing something that will make you happy . Talk to your friends and try to relax which may help your body to circulate blood perfectly .
Don't give up and always have a mind set in your goals.
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replied October 19th, 2015
Experienced User
Ok, so you have been on many different meds and they didn't help. That sounds like me! I've been to the mental hospital 3 times and that didn't help. I've been to counselors and psychiatrists and have had tests done and still, they can't seem to find a medicine to work for me. I know how you feel, truly! I pace my house all day long and feel like I am ready to jump out of my skin! I know a few things help me feel a little better. That's talking to people, even if it is online. Prayer and a book called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves". It explains so much and I like it. I read it so much that it fell apart. I'm not going to say "hang in there" because I hate when people say that to me . I will say that you are NOT ALONE!!!! I haven't worked in a year because of the anxiety.
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Users who thank daryld for this post: navsahni 

replied October 30th, 2015
Look for a competent doctor with good track record and discuss your problems at length. The future course of action will be chalked out by him/her. Give yourself time to get cured and everything will be just fine. There are countless cases out there to prove that you can overcome your problems and start enjoying a normal happy life.
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