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Will this really ever end?

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They told me years ago it would get better but here I am back again.. Feelin so alone, depressed and desperate to talk to someone..
Its a long story of my abuse and my daughters- which saw my ex in jail but all that was years ago and I have seen climpes of happiness since but again I now find my days are filled with empty space with no ambition to be creative or active. I cry and feel total dispare again... I get so angry because back then I had the power to end it now I just feel responsibility....I have 3 wonderful grandchildren and I want to enjoy them but sometimes it just all feels too hard.
I don't want to see people or go anywhere.. I have recently be diagnosed with Graves diease and am struggling with that... I just need someone to talk to... I am begining to think this will never ever end:lifepreserver:
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First Helper User Profile nzlivin
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replied July 7th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi nzlivin and welcome to ehealth: You alone are taking yourself back to this dark place in your life...You must learn to never go back to yesterday for it cannot be changed...Sometimes people like to find an old place in their mind and try to change it...This is something that you must stop doing...Consider it forbidden area...I know of this...Years ago I, too, had to vacate a place in my mind...Believe me, it was good that I did this...By doing this it released a new part of myself...Maybe a part that was struggling to be born....Honey, I won and so can you....

Find a new life...Find new friends...Find something interesting to do and stay with it...Don't find anyone that will help you wallow in self pity....Find only happiness and joy and forget about your yesterday....

I wish you well...Please believe me, you can do it...Take care...

Caroline
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replied July 10th, 2011
I feel you and I say that a lot lol but that is just me. I often just want to be alone and not around anyone. I do not know your full story but I have one as well. I go through the same thing. Everything is ok then the mess always comes back. The dark is hard and it also becomes a safety zone. You feel like life is over and you do not have the chance to see the light again so why even try. The motivation is gone and you have effortless drive. Depression all over again. What else is new. You are a great person who disserves to be loved and the chance to experience happiness. I need friends as well and you can hit me up any time. I would like to here more about you and your story. You never know I might have some words of wisdom. If not that I can be an ear for you. I work a lot of hours but I will keep my eye open if you want to talk some more. My name is matt aka wishes.
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replied July 18th, 2011
Experienced User
you should go to the physiatrist
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