Medical Questions > Relationships > Single and Struggling Forum

Why can't I ever get a girl to like me?

I'm 19, in college.
I'm pretty shy around people I don't know well, but I usually get better as I get used the person.
Most people think of me as a nice guy.
I don't drink,smoke, or do any illegal drugs.
I'm waiting till married for sex.

Here's some of my face book stuff to show you what I'm like...

Birthday: July 4, 1988
Religious Views: Non-denominational Christian

Personal Info
Activities: Video games, Anime, Progamming, and 3D Modeling,
Interests: Video games, Anime, Progamming, 3D Modeling, music, just starting to get into movies, hanging out with my friends, and trying to get a life.
Favorite Music: After Forever, Children of Bodom, Daath, Dark Moor, Drowning Pool, Epica, Killswitch Engage, Lunatica, Nightwish, Powerman 5000, Soilwork, SpineShank, Static-X, The Agony Scene, Celldweller, In Flames, Dir en Grey, Maximum the Hormone, Disciple, DethKlok
Favorite TV Shows: Normal shows: Kyle XY, Greek
Anime: Bleach, Naruto, One Piece, Death Note, Busou Renkin, Yu Yu Hakusho
Favorite Movies: 300, Hellboy

I'm not really a movie person.
About Me: They really should put a Favorite Video Game field here.

Favorite Video Games: Tales of the Abyss, Star Ocean: the Second Story, Final Fantasy VII, Dark Cloud 2

I'm just tired of feeling lonely, and just want to feel loved by a girl...
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replied June 22nd, 2008
I used to be pretty shy, had many problems getting a girlfriend, this has now all changed for me.

How I hear you ask, I got a lot more self confidence, I started weight lifting which made me more confident around people, my shyness went away, my thin body was the cause of my shyness, what this did for me was to increase my social activity and decrease my babbeling around members of the opposite sex.

I'm not saying you need to start on a 5 day weight lifting program, but if you feel at all apprehensive about the way you look change it, women love a guy with some self confidence (not to the point of being a cocky person), lots of if not all woman find this attractive.

Also if you sit and wait for a girl to come to you its not going to happen, you want something to change in your life YOU have to make it happen it will not happen for you, you see a girl you like go over and talk to her be confident about it she is probably just a nervous as you are, if you feel a connection ask her out.

If someone says no to you, just apologize for bothering her, make your goodby's short but not finite eg, I might catch ya around, or see ya later, this also shows confidence and I have actually had it tip the balance and been given a number using this form of goodbye.

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replied July 19th, 2008
I think that the best approach to this would to start off friends with girls you may meet, find a girl that has similar interests as you and as things progress you will grow more confident around her as you said your not as shy after a while of knowing someone. try taking up new activities where you can meet new people. or even strike up a conversation with a girl in your local shop, libary anywhere!, women like a guy with a sense of humour so try making a joke, recommend something to her wherever you are, some women like a man that is forward so you could try just asking her right out on a date with no hesitation this shows confidence too, i think with the confidence issue you just have to say to yourself "whats the worst that can happen?" all she can do is say no and then your no worse off than you were before, but more than likely you will get a yes Smile give it a go and just take that leap of faith, could be the best move you ever make!
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replied January 21st, 2010
Re:Can't get over this girl,
Start spending time with other girls. It'll help you get over her, may even introduce you to a girl you like more, and perhaps might make her jealous of you.

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replied January 22nd, 2010
I totally support EddyMac's advice about working out and exercise. Make it part of your life. Physical attraction, especially at your age, is important. And more importantly, you will feel great and keep you healthy for years to come.

You, like me, are a big metalhead nerd. Chicks in college (for the most part) are not into this kind of thing. Keep on thrashing dude, but I wouldn't wear it on your yourself, but be subtle on the nerd card (though I bet you could get some action with the 3D modelling!). And in the off chance you do meet a chick who is into metal and anime, a promise you she is going to want to smoke and have sex. Now not later.

I can only give my opinions, but frankly, I think you're actually on the right path when you say "Just trying to get a life". I think that is definitely the right attitude. That is what being in your late teens early 20's is all about.
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replied September 24th, 2010
I am 41 year old male.
I never have the nerve to ask a girl out and if by any chance (not often) cam my way I could not carry a conversation.
Needless to say I never had any relationship ...

And now I don't even pay any attention I walk with some confident and I began to notice women notice me...but its too late now as I don't know how to approach them and what to say.

It hurts like hell to be alone.

I never been to new year parties and new year eve is like any other night. By 8 or 9 I am already asleep.

Valentine don't have any meaning to me even though I know what Valentine is.

Not asking for help just saying I am a loser and a loner because I am sick and tired of giving excuses.

One thing is for sure I have never been struck out..preety ironic hunh.
I always wanted to walk with a girl holding her hand or talk to her on the phone late at night, go to mall with her.
These are preety basic human needs and its not very human for someone like be pushed to the sidelines all my life.
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replied February 8th, 2011
How to get a girl to like you
I think you should start spending time with girls.Getting the girls interest is the easy part.Live training is the fastest, most effective way to effortlessly develop the dating skills necessary to attract the women you want.Don't think of it as an complicated matter.
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replied March 6th, 2013
to find a Girl, find yourself first...
A question to both dothackzero and Nobody4: do you like being by yourselves? Can you spend time with yourself, on your own, and enjoy your own company?

I suspect not... And if you can't, how can you expect another person to?

Find yourself by being yourself and learn to live with you. When you do that, learn to 'love' yourself, then all else is possible. Salvation lies within!

Good luck
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