Well let my start off with.. I am a 13 year old girl. I kinda hate myself; I think I am ugly, and I think I am fat, no one likes me and all that jazz. Though people tell me I am not ugly or fat and stuff. But I just don't believe it! I am 97 pounds.. I think thats a little much for a 13 year old!!

I have all of the signs and symptoms of depression.. ALL of them. And I cut myself. I know I shouldn't and don't tell me I am stupid, because I know I shouldn't do it. But the emotional pain is just too much for me to handle.

I have 2 parents that care about me, and a ton of friends. I get good grades and do everything I have always wanted. But I just.. don't feel happy! I am never happy! And I don't know why! I mean, my parents and my grandparents are in this fight.. I don't know what it's about but I am not allowed to see my grandparents or my favourite anuntie. I haven't talked to them or seen them in about 4 years so far. And I miss them, but that isn't bad enough to cause depression is it?

Is this a normal thing? Do a lot of teenagers go through this? Because I just can't find the cause of my depression. Please help!
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replied December 20th, 2010
Arg! I can't explain this enough! It is called being a teenager. Everyone goes through it!
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replied December 20th, 2010
Not every teenager goes through it..
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replied December 20th, 2010
Yes they do, some people just dont share it with others. I was really depressed once and I never told a living soul, Never!
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replied December 20th, 2010
That's not true. Some people are really happy with their lives and think highly of themselves.
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replied December 20th, 2010
Well, there was once this kid in my class, Joseph. I tell you, he was the most annoying, self centered, smart A** I have ever known, and to top it all off, his voice was sooo high and frustrating. If I could, I probably would of driven a stake to his head. God, he was sooo annoying! He always acted so happy and smart, his family was rich, he always went on vacations, got good grades, and had loving parents. One day, After school, I was walking down a deserted hallway and he was just sitting there crying to himself.I helped him up and asked if he was okay and he said "no, I cant go home." Everyone has secrets, you have just never ventured into their brains.
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replied December 21st, 2010
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when I was 13 I was a lot like you and had a lot of people say things like that to me. It's frustrating. My psychologist compared it to a physical illness. No one can see the pain. There's no cast or anything obvious, ya know?

You're not stupid at all. You're brave for coming here and asking for help! Cutting is an awful addiction so many teenagers did and are still doing. I did too. I got nothing out of it but I did realize, after a while, it became an addiction. Physical pain blocks out emotional pain for about two seconds. The scars last. I got caught and people brushed it off as a "phase". Then one day I slipped too deep and had to tell my mom who called emergency. I was scared but that's natural even though I had no reason to be. Nothing scary happened. I got fixed up and began seeing a psychiatrist who really helped me find other coping skills. Like recovery in a way.

I was diagnosed with depression and GAD (anxiety). My mom's side has it too. There are different levels of depression and anxiety. It hits teens pretty hard especially with all the pressure there is today.
It seemed like no one cared and I was worthless but that was just the depression beating me up (I found that out when they saw the wound). People do care and you're not worthless.
Don't be afraid to reach out. You can even write a note to someone you trust even if you can't find the words. You're not alone

Being a teen and missing your aunt and grandparents might also have a lot to do with it. Try not to overwhelm yourself. Is there someone you can talk to who can help you out?
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replied December 21st, 2010
Thank you so much LiftmeUp.

I don't know why I even came on here and asked people for help though. I am not getting any answers that I didn't get before :/ But I guess it's just nice to know that there are other people like me.
I have this one friend who basically feels the same as me. Our parents annoy and embarrass the crap out of us, and we both feel worthless and like a disappointment to our parents. We also started cutting around the same time without knowing.
My dad actually told me he feels like a bad father because he can't get me to eat a piece of fruit. I don't eat much.. :/
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replied December 21st, 2010
I don't think "every" teenager goes through this, but definitely more than you think.

Depression is pretty common.

Firstly, a healthy diet is extremely important. You need to absorb at least the recommended dosage of daily nutrients for someone at your age level. Start by at least taking a multivitamin if you find you're unable to eat properly. Keep up with a healthy and active lifestyle for a few months and if you don't notice a change, you need to consider speaking with a professional.

Talking about how you feel could help. You are confused and sad, but don't be embarrassed about opening up to a stranger. Talking it out on a regular basis could really help you get through this.

OR It could also be that you have a slight chemical imbalance. Many individuals lack both dopamine and serotonin because of certain deficiencies and this may explain why you feel depressed for no reason. A professional would run some blood tests and would help make sure this is not the case.
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replied December 21st, 2010
Experienced User
My parents used to say that too. I found out that was just the way they were handling it. We didn't talk at all. one has a mental illness so it didn't make it any better. There are so many people like you they just don't speak up. Speaking up means you want help and you can get through this!
My appetite used to go up and down when my mood was at it's worst. Try small portions at a time if you can. It's important to stay safe and healthy even if it seems pointless now. The future might look dark and sometimes not even there but I promise you, if you let it it gets so much better. I know that's easier said then done from where you are but I was stuck there too with a group of friends like me, and I've seen more good than bad.

I'm also really sorry if anyone's bothering you Sad If they are, you can report them to an admin. even if they mean well. This site's usually really great for support and encouragement too. You can also look around the forums for other advice and stories.
I also remember having a few artists I admired because of everything they went through and got through. Hang on to your faith and hope. Have you tried talking to your dad? You're not a disappointment, it's always a misunderstanding.
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replied December 21st, 2010
Thank you.. all of you.

I almost lost a friend tonight.. She was seriously considering suicide.. I felt so helpless. And I think I made things worse. I am pretty sure that when she is home alone she is going to try and drown herself. And I am really really scared. So I cut myself again. This time.. almost on that really veiny part of my wrist. And now I feel ashamed... Whats wrong with me?!?
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replied December 22nd, 2010
Alexxis,
I'm 24 and I had started hurting myself at about 14. I was reported to counselors and it didn't help because I didn't want it to. I had a good friend and I would always try to take care of her because she would be suicidal too. I couldn't do much for her other than to try to talk to her and let her know I cared... It may be horrible to say but I feel now that I would have probably done better if I didn't try to take care of her. You can't put everything on yourself I did and it didn't help me at all. I know the physical pain makes the emotional pain a little more faded but if you are wanting physical pain try putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it instead. Sometimes I had to resist going back to cutting even though I did use the rubberband for a while. I didn't have an appetite either. I actually went on antidepressants when I was about 16, when I actually asked my parents to take me to someone for it. I don't know where in the country you live but at this time of year is the worse for me still because there isn't enough light for many people it is called SAD. I am not on the antidepressants anymore but I do have a light I use when it gets to be winter. I have to make sure I take my vitamins and exercise. Even though sometimes it is hard I have to check my attitude too. Thinking about positive thoughts and things help.

Even though sometimes it feels like you are alone your not. Growing up is tough. If you want help there is help. You can go to your parents, counselors or teachers. They can point you in the right direction.

Do you have something that can be a release for you other than hurting yourself? Such as reading, painting, drawing, crafts, scrapbooking, coloring, running, really anything if it makes you feel better. I was always into photography and really anything artsy.
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replied December 23rd, 2010
I think I can help you. Probably what you are victim of is basic shame. You need to know yourself very good, and check out if you have this factor as I said is bothering you. Then you can proceed with the next step to healing.
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replied December 24th, 2010
It may or may not help, however, I started ditching school, smoking cigarettes, pot and drinking in fourth grade. By the time I was 12 I was on my own on the streets with nothing but my skateboard and scraping along, and when I did see my family, they just asked how I was doing as though I was an old friend, not a child living on the streets. I had contemplated suicide alot but I feel it is the most selfish thing because the people you don't even realize care about you and is hard on them. I am still lost in life and I am 26. However, never having the greatest relationshp with family, I would give anything to have just one more argument with my mother who passed a couple years ago. It hasn't been until I lost somebody that I realized no matter how dumb or embarressed I felt, or how mad they got, that I realized they were always there, I just never asked for help and now they are gone. It's hard to see what's in front of you until it's taken away, I have learned alot on my own and have no choice now but to do it alone. I have been fortunate enough to help others from what I have learned the hard way and have seen many changes for the better and have seen unfortunate tragedies. If you would like to talk more which I can explain better with straight forward questions than an overrall summary...feel free to email me (dbcoop25 at yahoo) I understand the value of having someone you can say anything to because of the release that comes from just saying your problems out loud, my release became poetry...Anyways I have rambled enough...fight through the criticism and tell someone how you feel
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replied January 30th, 2011
alexxis, i know how u feel all the way, but dont hate your self. your probly really stressed and cant deal with it, which sometimes leads to cutting , which only makes it worse, i cant say much, cuz i am a cutter, and i been cutting for 3 years. but if you ever want someone to talk to message me, because sometimes it feels good to let things out, instead of letting stuff build up.
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