Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Getting Pregnant Forum

When is the best time to have a baby?

My boyfriend and I are only 17 right now, and we have been together for 2 years. We are pretty much engaged, the only reason we aren't is because he can't afford a ring right now. But anyway, we are planning on getting married in three or four years after moving in together in two years. I am in college right now, and I have a pretty good work study job that pays very well. He is looking for a job and wants to go to college for computer forensics. I am planning on going to med school. My question is, should we have our first child when we are 21 and I can take a break in my education, or should we wait until I have graduated med school and completed my residency, which will be when we are 27 or 28? I know the right thing to do is wait until we are older and I am done with school, but I don't want to be so old when we're having our first child. We both really want a baby now, but we know we are too young and can't properly care for a child right now.
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replied September 13th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
You've just given yourself the answer. If you know you couldn't properly care for the child and know that you should have a house, good jobs, etc etc then wait.

Even at 28 you're still young and have time on your side. Wait until you've got your medical school out of the way, because once you've had a baby going to med school is going to be so much harder than it would be if you waited for the baby.

Wait until you are able to stand on your own two feet, your own house, car, good paying jobs, can pay your own pills etc. And won't have to rely on either set of parents for anything it will be better for you and your partner to know that you waited in order to be able to completely provide for your child without having to ask your parents for help in buying stuff, living space etc.

If you got pregnant at 28 and they offer to buy something that's different because they offered and you didn't ask because you didn't have the money they brought it because they wanted to and its for their grandchild if that makes sense?
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replied September 13th, 2011
Well like I said I have a stable job that pays quite well, and when we're 21 we'll be living on our own. We won't be rich, but I feel like I don't want to wait ten years to have a baby when I want one so badly right now. We wouldn't be relying on our parents unless they wanted to help no matter how old we were. I wouldn't allow them to try to pay for everything, even if I got pregnant this minute. Which I'm not planning on doing.
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replied September 15th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
If you're willing to put med school on hold for 5 years and have to work extra hard to get through and your boyfriend is happy to start a family in a couple of years when you've got your own place, and you both feel ready for the challenges of parenthood then there's no reason not to.

A womans egg's are at their prime very late teens to mid 20's which could make it easier to conceive, also being young will probably help you get back into shape a little quicker, the only thing that some teens find hard is getting up with the baby every few hours and stay awake with them and then get up early with the baby, I'm not saying it will be the case.
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replied September 15th, 2011
Well, I won't be a teen. My mother had me when she was 21, and she barely took a break in her schooling before going on to grad school. I don't think I'll need to take five years off from my schooling just to have a baby. And of course we'll be perfectly happy to work hard to get through. Otherwise I wouldn't even consider bringing another life into this world. But thank you for the advice.
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