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What to expect when I tell my boyfriend...?

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I recently cut myself twice (on purpose) and I'm scared that when my boyfriend finds out he's going to dump me. If he did, I don't think I could make it through that, since him and my English teacher are the only ones that I am positive care about me right now. I intend to go over to his house tomorrow afternoon (the plans were made before I cut myself, and it's not possible for me to break my plans with him...Ever) and usually, when we get caught up in the mood, he ends up taking off my sweater. Currently, my sweater is hiding the bandage on my wrist. So when he takes that off, he will find the bandage, and wonder what I did.

Also, I'm worried that he might think that the cuts I actually get accidentally on my ankles when I shave are more cuts on purpose. What do I do if he thinks this?

~my-heart-will-not-go-on
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First Helper Cmneed
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replied October 3rd, 2009
You suck...
First of all....
It seems you have "issues",
when it comes to cutting yourself, You should search for medical help....

Everybody has their problems,
Why do you cut yourself?
You have pleasure? You are depressed?
Doesnt matter, nothing could justify what you're doing.

Theres people with "real" problems out there, and they dont go around just cutting themselves.
I have problems too,
but I dont cut myself.....
cutting yourself is not gonna change anything....

And... You have a boyfriend,
He will be there for you,
In a relationship there is no secrets or lies,
Without love and trust, there's nothing at all
If you tell him,
and he leaves you instead of trying to help you
Then he never cared about you...

Honestly, you shouldnt cut yourself...
You have no reason at all, you have somebody who you can spend your life with, a person that you love and makes you feel special....
love is the best thing in the world its what keeps us alive...
You should consider yourself lucky and live everyday
with a smile.....

I have bigger problems than you........
And I dont go around moaning......
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replied November 24th, 2011

having problems aint a competition!
you're not comparing penis sizes here you're trying to compare problems that people are facing and this persons problem is equally as bad as yours i'm positive, i self harm because its a way of coping with problems im facing! i turn my emotional pain into physical pain. you say there are people out there with real problems but every problem is a real problem, if cutting is the way they deal with it, then so be it, some people cry, some even commit suicide, cutting is just a way of coping. you have little experience in this area so i really dont recon you should be trying to give advice on it when you don't know jack Smile
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replied December 7th, 2011
uhm excuse me skydiver, but you are wrong. usually, in cases where people cut themself, they have a chemical imbalance. This makes every little problem a horrendous life altering problem. The hormone imbalance causes people to find simple things more emotional than others. and don't even try saying you have bigger problems than her. You don't know this person and you don't know their life. Besides, low self esteem, and feeling of worthlessness is one of the worst feelings imaginable.
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replied January 1st, 2012
Self Harm Ignorance
Don't be so incredibly ignorant. Don't sit there and tell self-harmers about having "real" problems! People self harm for a multitude of reasons, past abuse, current abuse, depression, low self esteem, stress, loss of a loved one, struggling with pressures of school/work/lack there of... - so many things! Just because the popular perception of self-harmers is that they are in fact "emos"! Even still - ANYONE who self-harms needs help, is struggling to the point where they feel the need to hurt themselves. "I have bigger problems than you" - that is such an immature and ridiculous thing to say. Did the person who wrote this explain every aspect of her life to you? No. So don't judge someone by a post on a website designed to HELP PEOPLE.
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replied May 12th, 2014
You may have problems but so does she. The sizes of all problems are relative to a persons life and situation. She most likely has a mental illness and the worst way to react to this situation is to tell her she is being stupid and to just stop. Stop being so judgmental and have a little sympathy. She was asking for advice, and if your advice is demeaning and will cause her to feel worse about what she has already done and can't change, then I advise you to just stop. It is useless to her and will only cause her harm.
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replied May 12th, 2014
*IS NOT TO TELL HER SHE IS BEING STUPID AND TO JUST STOP.
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replied October 8th, 2009
Experienced User
Wow wow wow, calmn down there Skydiver99. Everyone has their problems, and none any less significant than anothers. And trust me, if I can say that, after what I have seen and been through, then that is saying something. In God's eyes no sin is bigger than another, and same with our problems and issues. When we hurt ourselves, were hurting God. Not that we have the power to make Him hurt, its that he loves us somuch that he hurts for us!

Anyways, hun why do you cut? I am a cutter as well, for about 8 months now acually. So if you need to talk about this with someone, then im here for you, Smile

Also, if your boyfriend loves you and cares for you like you say, then he isnt going anywhere! He will most likley see that the marks on the outside is just a representation of whats going on on the inside...

And as for the marks from shaving? Well, he will just have to trust you on that on. But if no, oh well. There isnt much else you can do about that one, sorry. Sad

But, like I said if you ever need to talk, I'm more than willing to listen! Smile

Hope your doing well, my heart goes out to you...
Gracie Smile
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replied October 9th, 2009
gracie,

Lets not make of this an arguement, and be polite.
Theres no point to discuss like this over the internet.

Just thought I would give you a piece of my mind.

In this cases, going all friendly doesnt work.
You shouldnt treat her like that....let me tell you why

You see, when she came here with her "story", she was expecting to receive friendly answers like yours.
So I "reversed" that fact instead of saying
"its okay, everybody has problems and stuff but you shouldnt cut yourself"

I put her down, like she was one of the worst type of persons by showing how negative cutting was,
Then I bring her up by showing her reasons for happiness, like being in love.

Trust me, its the best way to talk with somebody with this kinds of problems, is throwing the "s**t" that they are at their faces then tell them now be happy because you have this and that
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replied July 1st, 2013
Its the best way? Well, can I tell you how much 'showing how negative cutting is and then bringing them back up' annoys people and even hurts them? If someone said that to me I would think that there is something wrong with who I am and my personality. It would hurt. I am/was a cutter. I am SLOWLY getting help. I did not mean to offend you in any way. BUT I just thought that I should give you a piece of my mind.
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replied December 12th, 2013
bring a girl down who is already down and trying to bring her back up does not do anything but keep her down. I am someone who also cuts people try this method all the time, and in the end it just put more stress you don't no her life story so why make it seem like such. having a boyfriend is nice but their are a lot of people, that have people they love, and still commit suicide. so what's the difference. I have a boyfriend and i just told him the other day about me cutting he just held me for an hour which helped, but my past is still there and that just how I cope with things and other teen girls but I give u props for dealing with your many issues other ways.skydriver99
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replied October 11th, 2009
ok skydiver99, all i have to say is that if youve never cut you have no idea about how to handle it. also that you have no idea about how other people feel. you have no right to tell someone that you have bigger problems than them, and that they have no reason to be cutting!

anyway,
dear myheartwillnotgoon
you should really talk to someone. i agree with Gracie012 your boyfriend should trust you that the cuts on your ankles were from shaving, i think mostly because if you would tell him about cutting your wrist why lie about your ankle? good luck... i wish the best to you!
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replied October 11th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Hey myheartwillnotgoon
I think the bigger question is do you want a boyfriend that can't handle this? This is who you are right now if you have to hide what's going on in your life to be loved you should work at finding someone more willing to accept you. Cutting isn't a syndrome you can tackle effectively on your own. you're going to need his support and acceptance to get better. Tell him, if he can't come to terms with it I assure you there are a lot of people out there that can.
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replied November 20th, 2011
skydiver99, don tbe a jerk okay?
you don't know what its like to cut yourself okay? self harm isn't a joke and we don't go around MOANING, its a very personal and private thing, and this poor girls whole issue is that she doesn't want her bf to find out, because she is scared he will judge her, just like you are doing right now.. All i'm asking is that you don't judge people when you do not know them or their lives. its rude and disrespectful and just down right ignorant.
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replied January 6th, 2012
skydiver99, obviously you dont know how to handle things like this because if you did you would know that by saying that to someone who self harms it usually makes it worse....just saying here....because i self harm myself.......and it is COMPLETELY IGNORANT to say things like that to someone who harms them self because of some issues they are dealing with you only make it 10x worse on them.....
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replied January 17th, 2012
I'm nervous too about my boyfriend seeing my cuts. He knows I used to, and it upsets him that I've been in pain, but he's not mad, and he wouldn't break up with me. If your boyfriend loves you then he's not going to break up with u, he will b there for you. I'm sure it will work out fine for you Smile
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replied May 13th, 2013
s harm
I recently cut myself wishing I never done it now, my boyfriend can't handle seeing me like this and I'm scared in case he leaves me he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend what do I do or say yto him? Thanks
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