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what do i do? voice makes me self harm!

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I hear the voice of my idol in my head and he is telling me to self harm and hurt my family really bad. i may be developing insomnia due to my lack of sleep the past few weeks as every night very late i hear him whisper to me and i feel his finger tips on my shoulder. if i dont sleep he forces me to hallucinate. he says everything will be ok and i believe him. maybe he will change and we can be happy! thats what he says. i dont like hallucinating i see spiders. lots and lots of them running up my ceiling and i feel them up my legs. my walls crumble sometimes and i it "outside" in my bed which is what i see. also my idol has been in every dream i have had for the past few weeks. he has killed me gruesomely or my family or i have murdered but he always plays the villain in my dreams in some way. i have recently self harmed so i have cuts. but he told me to do it. like he told me to get off my medication or it would "kill him". to him im just a foolish little girl who cant escape him as i have to go asleep sometime. theres so much more to tell but i cant go on forever
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replied April 9th, 2012
Active User, very eHealthy
We are fools, we don't know anything.

Ask him questions, don't just listen, speak up for yourself.

Why would he want you to do these things if it would only harm your life? Ask him that.

Your idol seems to be a total jerk in my opinion.

Don't listen anymore is my advice, do what you know is right, don't get me wrong, don't do what you want, only what you know is right.

I've had dreams of the spiders as well, they are real, and just like everyone else it is their goal to conquer and devour, they are jumping out of everywhere these days. We only need to define a spider when it comes to our dreams.

Everyone has a spirit animal, some have spiders, and they are spiders. They want you to sit in a web until it is time for you to be devoured by them, seeing as how they aren't always hungry.

They bite me but I seem to be immune, hee hee! I can't believe how many times I've been bitten, it's insane how many times I've been bitten!

Think of it this way, humans are exactly like the animal kingdom, the spiders are in charge right now, everything is like a web and no one can "move" freely. We are all only waiting to be devoured.

If a spider was a human what would they do exactly? Think about it and think about it as metaphorically as possible.

Idols are delusions, they aren't real, and we all must fight them in ourselves to make things better, so just give up your idol and realize that there are better things.
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replied April 14th, 2012
ashliegh..all i can say to help would be for you to know Jesus as your friend..your protector..and the one who is strong enough to make your other friend go away for good. Jesus will let you be you..and to protect you, and give you joy. you can pray and ask Him for to come into your heart and also to protect you. this is what i can say that has helped me .
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