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Hello, My name is James and i'm 17. I am suffering from depression. It started about when my father got diagnosed with cancer, about 5 years ago. About three months later my brother was diagnosed with leukemia and died the same week. It was near Christmas and my father started chemotherapy. But he did not take to it. about 7 months after that he died.
I loved my father and brother very much when this happened. I was 12 at the time and in 8th grade. I miss them both very much, to this day.
About a year after my father died my mother had obtained a drinking problem and became suicidal then she was diagnosed with diabetes and stomach cancer which made things even worse. Then when my ninth grade summer vacation came around she suffered from a brain aneurysm. The doctors told my family she was not gong to live, she's still alive. But she is paralyzed and cannot remember that I am her son. And she has short term memory loss.
I am living with my grandparents right now and my grandfather recently has had a heart attack.
For me it's just becoming too much for me to handle. I'm starting to have troubles sleeping thinking and socializing. I've been to therapists and I've been on depression medication. I stopped it all because it doesn't help. What should I do? It's becoming harder and harder everyday for me to go by. I miss everyone so much. I also think another part of me being depressed is that im lonely. I have no one really to talk to
I really hate talking about my problems but I think it might help seeing what other people think. I'm not sure, I'm really trying to make my self better.
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replied December 30th, 2009
Experienced User
Well yes life sometimes is terrible, I also lost practically every blood related relative but my brother. Ans is terrible and natural for you to think in all the troubles, but you need to start a life. First you need to check your diet, some of the problems with cancer are related with the diet and environment but you are in different environment than your father and brother. So probably you are okey. You need to be with people a job in a mall or a place like that will help. OR you need to do something completely different of whatever you did before, working helping animals sounds good for you, an SPCA par time cleaning and walking dogs will keep your mind busy in something completely different than your problems, animals are a lot of fun and a lot of troubles so you don't need a puppy at home that will create problems with your grandparents, but walking dogs in a local SPCA will help you, or working partime in a ZOO will help you too. Always help to work out in a gym or lift weights you can make a lot of friends in a gym also. Don.t get a girlfriend now you may get one just because you are lonely so is not fair for that girl. Reading and Church is always a good thing to do, a bible study group with people in your age group is good. and Hiking and biking are great too so I can keep writing things but get one and attach to that activity. Good luck.
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replied December 31st, 2009
Community Volunteer
Hello c0olj,

Thank you for writing and sharing your story. Please accept my condolence on the loss of your loved ones. I am so proud of you for hanging in there and enduring this unfortunate hand life has dealt you. I am more proud of you for realizing you needn't go through this alone and reaching out for help/advise. Getting off the depression drugs on your own was a very brave and courageous step. That means you are a survivor and have reached deep within yourself and pulled out your inner strength which we all have and don't often use unless we are faced with a tradegy such as yours.

Here is some other otpions for you. Volunteer to be a motivator speaker to homicide/suicide victims, you can get the information from your local police department. There is a group(not sure of the name) but they meet and give each other support, you would be an Excellent source to utilize. Also, start a journal Today of your thoughts, feelings...etc. Write everyday, several times a day if you like but do write. Visit your father and brother graves, have celebration of their life there. When it is their birthdays, your birthday, holidays, when you are very sad, lonely, go there and talk to them, although, they are out of sight, they are forever in your spirit. Do this until you are ready to slowly let go of the ever present fresh pain you are experiencing now. Everyone is different as to how and how long they mourn...don't be rushed, this too will pass, just go through the process.

Find a loving, kind, compassionate person or persons who doesn't mind hearing you speak of your loved ones for hours and days on end. Sometimes therapy doesn't work, sometimes it is difficult to get a stranger to understand what it is you are feeling and drugs are not the long term are on the right path, it will be long and rocky, but it will get better if you just believe and stay with it.

We are here for you always, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, 24/7. I pray you have continued strength, peace and contentment.

God Bless,

Faded Rose
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