Medical Questions > Womens Health > Menopause Forum

Weight gain and depression and sex

I am new to this support group. I joined because I do not have anyone else to talk to about the things I am going through and let's face it, for the most part, our husbands/significant others just don't understand and neither do women who are not going through it. In my opinion, menopause is proof God is a man. Just when we are free to start thinking about and focusing on ourselves, when the children are well into their own lives, we are secure in our jobs and we have all that disposable income, BAM, menopause. Our libidos ramp up but our ability to attract rapidly fades out. And if you are married (and your other is around the same age as you) he is on the downslide of his sexual interest. I cannot beleive how, in a few short years I have gained over 30 lbs.(in places I never expected to), watched my body parts sag (and wrinkle and get lumpy)and spend more time crying than I did the entire previous 50 years of my life. I'm 55 now, have been married to the same man for 36 years and am not happy. I can't sleep through the night, I have to endure embarrassing hot flashes, can't cough or laugh without peeing a little, can't have sex without slopping up with lubricant, can't begin to remove all the hair growing in places it never grew before and can't seem to control the emotional merry-go-round I find myself on. I swear, some days I can stand in front of the mirror and watch myself age and deteriorate. Okay, I think I am done whining for now. Thanks for hearing me out.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied November 16th, 2009
Its okay we all have to whine and vent. I try to think of something in my life that makes me smile everyday.
I have fibro so in pain everyday also, let alone the post menopause,,,,,,,,,you are right makes you wonder why this crap happens to us. Just enjoy everyday because tomorrow isnt promised to us.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 16th, 2009
oooohhhhh ok you have just scared me out of menopause. I am 46 and have JUST perhaps stating having some signs. I've decided that after reading your post I am not going to do this. lol
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 16th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Hey, it really wasn't that bad...Years ago I used to dread aging, and now I am having the time of my life...The worst problem that you can have is "fear"...By doing this, you have already purchased an advance ticket to "hell"....

Take care,

Caroline
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 30th, 2010
Hey Peanut09, I think my fiance is going thru the same thing! She can not sleep thru a whole night, she has no sex drive (we haven't had sex for over 2 months), she now sleeps either on the couch or on the floor by the couch. She says she wants to sleep alone! You are not alone! This thing is actually eating me up inside! She says she loves me but rarely does she hug me. She just doesn't have that look in her eye that she wants me like she used to. We have been together for over 6 years and I've known her for 20! I have tried romancing her to death (foot massages, 4 day concerts, candles and champagne and even tried oral sex which she refused!! - never thought that would ever happen) and that doesn't seem to change anything as well! Is this you as well??
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Must Read
Learn the basics about mental disorders, including risk factors, diagnosis, and treatment options. ...
Learn about risk factors to developing a mental health condition. ...
Learn about screening and diagnosis options available for mental conditions....