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22 weeks pregnant. I don't want this baby

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I'm 19 years old and 22 weeks pregnant. I don't want this baby. I'm so mad, sometimes I think about abortion, but I know I'm too far along. My parents do not support adoption or abortion; they want me to pursue parenting. I get so mad- sometimes I tell the baby I hate it over and over and over. Sometimes I even contemplate suicide because I'm so mad. I just don't know if this is normal. I have a few pregnant friends and they are all so excited about becoming mothers. I seem to be the only one that is dreading becoming a mother. And I have no choice. If I give the baby up for adoption, my family will disown me and kick me out. I just don't know how to feel better about this. I want to be happy. I want to be excited like other girls.


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replied May 18th, 2011
Depression During Pregnancy Answer A23095
Hello and welcome to e health forum.

It is very common in some girls to feel depressed during pregnancy. Presence of suicidal thoughts indicates the problem could be associated with depression.

You might consult a psychiatrist, who can take a extensive history and provide counselling and reassurance, and initiate treatment if needed.




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replied July 24th, 2011
If you don't want the baby or have any emotional attachment. I suggest you do what you feel is most healthy for the baby. Give him/her to a loving wanting family.
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replied May 24th, 2011
You are definitely not alone. I am 31 and never wanted to be a single parent. This is my first pregnancy and I am 19 weeks along. I never in a million years thought I would be miserable and crying everyday while pregnant. The only thing that seems to help is yoga and medication. I have faith that it will get better and I hope you feel better.
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replied May 24th, 2011
Well, all I can say is this. Many people I know have been scared of parenting at first. Have you thought about talking to a counselor? Also bring up your suicidal thoughts so he/she can help. While I didn't have a child with my past bf, I can look back and see how I was also scared of maturing that way...but I had to grow up some in the end anyway...(But that's just my case, yours may be different).
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replied June 29th, 2011
You are so lucky to have your parents support right now even thought you might not want it in the way they are giving! yes you are only 19 and just want to live your life! I'm 25 and have just lost mine at 3months! There are so many woman out there that can't fall pregnant, I hope I will be able to and stay pregnant next time. I have gone threw a lote in my life and I know you will live threw this consider your self so lucky right now bring up that baby with pride! Think if you gave friends that are expecting too and are excited well you have all tge help and support you need good luck!
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replied June 29th, 2011
You are so lucky to have your parents support right now even thought you might not want it in the way they are giving! yes you are only 19 and just want to live your life! I'm 25 and have just lost mine at 3months! There are so many woman out there that can't fall pregnant, I hope I will be able to and stay pregnant next time. I have gone threw a lote in my life and I know you will live threw this consider your self so lucky right now bring up that baby with pride! Think if you gave friends that are expecting too and are excited well you have all tge help and support you need good luck!
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replied July 25th, 2011
3rd trimester and still not happy
I know how you feel. I am entering my third trimester and I still don't feel happy or excited about my pregnancy. I'm 22, just graduated college and haven't found a job, and moved back home with my Mom an Gma. I feel ashamed all the time because I am not married (and I don't think me and my BF will get married or even stay together) and I just feel like everyone is looking at me saying "Oh my goodness she couldn't even get married first". Most of my friends from college aren't from the same town as I am and my Mom works a lot so I feel alone all the time. Me and my Mom used to have a really good relationship, but things are extremely different now. But unlike you, my mother tried to convince me to have an abortion (which I just wasn't comfortable with), but for the sake of saving our relationship, I even went to the clinic with her. I decided after the counseling session that I couldn't go through with it. It's not that I'm against abortion, it's just that I wasn't comfortable with it for myself. I feel like all my Mom and Gma can focus on are all the negative things, but my Dad has tried to support me throughout this all thing. I just feel like I went to college to make sure I could one day support a family, but now my plans are completely ruined. I know girls who are prego also and really excited, but I just feel like I am not ready mentally, financially, or physically so why should I be excited about bringing another person into this mess? The one I can tell you that I am learning through this whole process is that you have to make the best decisions for you and your baby. I know it's really hard because you are constantly hearing about what other people would do and blah, blah, blah. But ultimately the only person who has to live with your decision is you. I don't know your beliefs, but I will definitely keep you in my prayers...and know that you are not alone Smile
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replied October 5th, 2011
You poor thing how terrible for you to feel so low i truly hope you can connect with your baby and love him/her. I am sure you are a good person who would never hurt another; you are so young and hormones make people feel the strangess things but you can seek help and posting on here means you want advice. Please stay strong and remember this is your baby and you will do what is best for him/her
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replied October 19th, 2011
Hello Smile I feel it would be best to consider adoption. If your parents are against it, tell them to raise the baby. Family and friends should share their feelings on how you should handle this, and how they feel, however, no one should EVER persecute you for disagreeing with them and following your own agenda. So try not to focus on that too much. Please keep in mind too though, you may be going through a rough patch, and that's why your angry. Only YOU can dig deep within yourself and figure out are you REALLY mad at this baby...or YOURSELF ? So with the little info I have, I do feel adoption is a possibility. With that option, you will have more time to consider motherhood more, and if not, well, you would have already made plans to give the baby to another family. I hope whatever you decide, you hold no regrets and are happy. Just think things through, and consider repercussions to your decisions. I truly wish you and the baby the best of luck. Please take care Smile
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replied November 19th, 2011
I am 31 and I feel that way sometimes. I felt like this with my first pregnancy too (a decade ago). My experience (and I may be completely different) is that once you have your child you will experience so much love. I did not get attached to my baby or this baby either. Most days I forget that I am pregnant and do have resentment. Its depression. Depression is very common in pregnancy. I suggest that you hold off on ANY decision until after the baby is born. You may feel differently. Having an abortion will only make you more depressed, and choosing to put your baby up for adoption may sound ok now, but once you have your baby you may change your mind. Talk to your doctor about your feelings. They have heard and seen everything Smile I know it sounds like a cliche but take it one day at a time. The baby isn't the "problem" but the surrounding situation is. And remember that YOU are the mother not your parents. Also, I dont know if you feel like this, but I dreaded having my own child because I hated babysitting and I hated other people's kids. Parenting is not the same thing in my opinion. I love my child more than anything and I was feeling the same way you were. Hang in there.
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replied November 19th, 2011
I am 31 and I feel that way sometimes. I felt like this with my first pregnancy too (a decade ago). My experience (and I may be completely different) is that once you have your child you will experience so much love. I did not get attached to my baby or this baby either. Most days I forget that I am pregnant and do have resentment. Its depression. Depression is very common in pregnancy. I suggest that you hold off on ANY decision until after the baby is born. You may feel differently. Having an abortion will only make you more depressed, and choosing to put your baby up for adoption may sound ok now, but once you have your baby you may change your mind. Talk to your doctor about your feelings. They have heard and seen everything Smile I know it sounds like a cliche but take it one day at a time. The baby isn't the "problem" but the surrounding situation is. And remember that YOU are the mother not your parents. Also, I dont know if you feel like this, but I dreaded having my own child because I hated babysitting and I hated other people's kids. Parenting is not the same thing in my opinion. I love my child more than anything and I was feeling the same way you were. Hang in there.
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replied November 30th, 2011
Experienced User
How are you now? What did you decided to do? Sorry i didnt see this sooner but i would of said you needed to speak to a counselor and you feel that way do to your hormones and also feeling depressed.
x
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