My ex-boyfriend, I feel, has some issues, and I wanted to ask what others think. He has been very cold to me when attempting to talk to get closure, so help from others is very appreciated.

Some background on my ex. He is 37, unmarried (engaged once), no kids. He has various female friends, who he talks on the phone with, daily, and graphically discusses s*x with all the time, including talking about each other's privates, their gyn issues, etc. To me, this is completely inappropriate, and I never heard of this kind of relationship.

He told me he pictured most of these women naked and/or fantasized about having s*x with them. He said for him it only happens once, when he first meets them. He added that it happens all the time for him, as he meets new people, and he imagines almost every woman he sees naked, and imagines having s*x with them. He also said he has s*x dreams all the time about all kinds of women. He told me he even looked up his pharmacist's home address and considered going there to f her. This was upsetting to me because I don't think of men that way, and I felt like I didn't mean much to him if his mind wandered so much, though he claimed he loved me. Shortly before he broke up with me, he began to bring it up in hurtful ways. He would mention "Oh I had a dream I was with so and so," or "Yeah, I thought of her naked," and there was never anything like "But I am in love with you," or "but they don't compare to you," or anything to acknowledge me or reassure me.

In his past, he had two long term relationships, one was with a woman from Spain, on and off for 10 years (his ex-fiancee), and the other happened in the middle of those 10 years, where he dated and lived with a co-worker for 2 years. The co-worker relationship ended when she found out he kept secretly talking to the Spanish woman, and was basically wanting to get back together with her, but wouldn't take responsibility for it with the co-worker, until she caught him and dumped him. He then went back to the Spanish woman, but he was vague about why that engagement never worked out. To me, it sounds like he cannot be serious about anyone for very long.

He currently has various close female friends, including 2 out-of-town s*x-buddies who he sees from time to time (he swore this never happened when we dated). His two closest female friends are an ex-stripper, who is now married with 2 children. She talks to him all the time about her anal s*x with her husband, how horny she is, the electrolysis on her vagina and anus, and how she dresses her daughters promiscuously for Halloween, and encourages them to walk around the house naked all the time (they are 8 and 6). Personally, I did not want to know any of this info, and I do not know why he did. It disturbed me. Why doesn't this woman respect intimacy and privacy between her and her husband? or the privacy of her kids?

The other friend, Amy, is also married. He sent me links to her Instagram very early on in our getting to know one another. She fancies herself a foodie and posts pictures of her cooking and all her marathons. To me, this is a typical narcissist, who takes herself wayyy too seriously, and thinks way highly of herself to assume people care about her amateur cooking and cliche marathon runs, but he was impressed. I don't know what Amy does for a living other than that she makes 3x what her 2nd husband does, as the ex boasted. Before he and I got romantic, he would talk about her to me, and tell me how hot she was in a very slinky outfit she wore out with her husband. (She is almost 40 and still dresses like a college girl.) They happened to stop by after they went out drinking, and she happened to tell my ex that she was wearing no underwear, as her skirt rode up. Oops! To me, this is outright gross. She was flirting with an unmarried man in front of her husband. Of course the ex falls for it and plays along, because he loves attention. This couple visits him every Friday after they go out drinking. And every Friday, she sits on the sofa with my ex, while her husband stands by himself off to the side, or sits on the floor alone, because there is no more room for him to sit. To me, this is a power game that the ex and Amy play against her husband, and her husband is an idiot to stand for it and let them treat him like crap. My ex would call after they left to tell me how funny it was that he got the husband drunk so he couldn't get it up that night. I thought this was mean and pathetic of him to try to insinuate control over these people's sex lives. She also talks to him about her sex toys, and he listed them all off to me, after memorizing the list (again he falls for her bait and is all ears for her teases). When I told him I thought it inappropriate he just shut me down saying I was abnormal and all his friends are like this.

The ex also told me Amy gives wonderful b js, and he was so impressed. I asked how he would know that. He said her husband said she did. Who made her husband an authority on b js? Clearly this guy is an idiot to put up with this woman in the first place, so who gave him a clue about b js? I thought it was childish of my ex to perk his ears up at something he is obviously being fed to take more interest in this woman, who must be VERY insecure to be asking so desperately and pathetically for it, in front of her husband, in the first place. I would hope that if her husband has half an ounce of self-respect, he will wake up and see how she is playing him for a fool to spend every Friday night getting ogled by another single man in front of him. But, this woman does not even have primary custody of her child because she cheated multiple times on her husband and walked out when the kid was an infant. She now leaves the kid with her 2nd husband (which is weird to leave your kid with a non-relative in a divorce situation like that), while she goes out on multiple week nights to drink with friends until 3am. What a sk*nk.

To me, this woman is a huge loser with major man-hatred issues. I was constantly hurt to watch the ex think so highly of her, because I would never, ever behave that way. In college, women who behaved like that were considered total trash, and would never be treated with any respect by decent men or women in the social world.

I just wonder what others think about this. Am I off-base? Are his relationships with other women inappropriate? Or am I a stick-in-the-mud? He was 2 years younger than me and seems to try to be hip with millennials. Do millennials talk about sex like this with co-ed friends?
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