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Want to speed up divorce to worthless husband

Am I alone? Does your husband make bottles for the baby before going to bed? When you're hurt, sad or sick, does he care for you? When it comes to planning, does he put himself first? It seems as though everything revolves around him. Everything is about him. Example, relaxing at the beach has always been my favorite pastime. Because he's so busy at work and even during weekends when he's off, he always just wants to stay at home, play video games or go to the movies. that's the highlight of our year! So, after we decided that we are going to get a divorce (though it can be a lengthy process), I decided to do things for myself and my 10 month old. Just last Friday, we went to the beach, had a blast! Hubby was furious at the fact that he couldn't come and that he'd be missing beach time with the baby. ha, any other day, he would've told me that "it was too late," or that he "was too tired," or "we can go next weekend." There are hundreds of other factors to why we are getting a divorce, but I must say, I no longer want to try either. I am fed up. Unfortunately, it takes a whole year of separation in VA to finalize a divorce, how do I expedite this process?!
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replied April 15th, 2014
Extremely eHealthy
I guess you never stated from the beginning what you needed from your husband and your marriage and then made it a constant issue like a mother with an errant child.

That is what it takes to have a successful marriage with lots of men; few men are more than children at heart and most men are happier and make better husbands when the wife treats them like the children they are and keeps them busy and entertained and so out of mischief...

Marriage is a contract with rights and duties on both sides and is intended to last for life. For those couples who have found it impossible to live together in spite of a great deal of hard work there is the safety net of divorce.

Divorce is a much-misused safety net and not a get-out-of-jail card for somebody who is "fed up".
A one-year separation is a very short period of time which used to be much longer until the liberal soft-shells shortened it for their own convenience.
A contract is a contract is a contract and if the world had any sense it would be very reluctant to allow folk who have demonstrated they can't be trusted with a contract to enter into any other contracts of any sort.
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replied April 16th, 2014
Verne, thank you for your honest and Stern opinion. I truly respect it. You're right, its as if the best way to solve my issues was to entertain my husband as though he was a kid. True and selfish at the same time. What do you tell people when they say they made a mistake? I totally agree with you, a contract is a contract. What happens when you break it? We get penalized? Pay the consequence? see, its not even the living conditions. Its not our top issue, even if we were to live like roommates. There are feelings involved of course. Maybe im being a baby but I think that goes back to being selfish. I entertain him and please him only to be treated like crap? Example, just tonight, my son was all happy, jumping on the bed being crazy, hes just now srarting to walk so it excites me to see him do anything. Stand, squat, jump, etc. I tell my husband to look and because hes so into the tv, he Totally ignores me. Also, I cook dinner every night and he just skips to his bowl of cereal or tuna salad. I put the baby to bed, I head downstairs and he doesn't even acknowledge it, no kisses or good night's tob either me or his son. I guess its not a big deal right? I don't know, Im no longer in love, we have been distant for almost a whole 2 years now!!
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replied April 23rd, 2014
Experienced User
I am sorry to hear of your problems with your husband and I know men are somewhat selfish .. but for the sake of the marriage and your kids , have you considered marriage counseling? You both have to make an effort in keeping the passion for each other.. my thoughts
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replied May 29th, 2014
thanks for the post. I'm also interested in some concrete info on the subject.
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