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Very depressed, constant pain, unhealthy stress

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I have a problem, my dad is always drunk, and always swears and shouts at me and my brother. I'm very depressed and i am scared to have social chit-chat because of this. I am afraid to speak to girls because i always assume the same reaction that my dad gives. He never sees his mistakes and we always have to apologize to him and it's never the other way around. What do i need to do? I am really done because when he's sober he always tries to talk over what happened with stuff like "nice weather huh?" Or "thats just how i am, accept it or leave"

Please, i need advice... i want to be able to talk to girls and people, and have more friends. I am full of stress everyday and music isn't solving it anymore. Even listening to my favorite songs don't do anything anymore.

I only feel pain everyday, i just want to be happy. And i have thought about what it would be like if i'm gone. sometimes these thoughts enter my brain. Since i'm just 18, i don't think it's healthy to have this much stress and pain.

Thanks a lot, i really aprriciate you taking your time to read this.
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