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Vaginal Penetration during Sex

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I was married young and a virgin years ago - my ex at the time was 5'' and able to finally fit in me and sex was enjoyable. We ended up divorced (he was emotionally abusive). 7 years later I remarried to a wonderful man, we both mutually love and support eachother. We have been trying to streach my vagina b/c sex is painful for me. I think it may have to do with his larger size. He and I are both religious and patient with the idea that it may take time to penetrate me. We both still end up orgasming after we fool around even if he can't stay inside me due to the pain. I am having some frustration b/c I want to have kids someday (we're both 31 now) and I would like to have that same orgasm that I have when we fool around while he is inside of me. We managed to get him in about 3 inches but it is too painful when he tries to go in and out of me so he just finishes outside of me. I have used personal lubercant (Astro glide) and that's how he is able to go in. But each time it's a chore and I have anxiety when we try - we end up just orgasmining outside of me. I want to enjoy him inside and I need some ideas.I have used tampons to practicing feeling him penetrate me and I can get them inside and even have an orgasm with the tampon on me as I practice getting used to it, however I don't wear tampons during taht time of the month b/c they feel awkward to me. Also, I don't usually get pap smears b/c I fear the examination. I did go once 2 yrs ago for an irritation I had on my vagina b/c of a bathing suit and the doctor found nothing wrong down there physically - she knew my history with my ex. I have recently went to get my blood work checked and urin and there were no illnesses found there. I am a healthy 31 year old. Any ideas would help also any ideas on what exactly to ask when I end up asking a doctor offline for help. * Current husband and I have been married 1.5 years now*

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replied March 26th, 2010
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Hi Mya96 and welcome to ehealth: Try using Vaginal Dilators...They come in a set and gradually will stretch out the skin in the inner vagina...Doctors advise these for older women who have given up on sex and find a new love and need to be opened again....Unless a woman is kept penetrated during life, this happening could occur...Especially if she is older....You are not this, but I added it for any older women to be sure and masturbate between lovers....Good luck and I think you will find that these will, over time do the job....Take care...

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