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Devastated. I spend the last 3 years building a life that I thought was solid. Clearly I have been in denial the entire time as there were red flags everywhere!! The thing is these little red flags just crept in quietly to a once very happy, healthy and functional relationship. I am still reeling at the fact that they have now so boldly reared their ugly heads. I am shocked, I feel used, I feel alone, mostly I feel scared and overwhelmed. I bought a house because I thought that we could take care of it together. I committed to a city and state and job because I thought we would be in it together. I sacrificed my car to he who had none (red flag) for TWO YEARS. Then when he finally acquired his own vehicle with my help I found mine to have been pretty much destroyed by someone who I thought respected me. There was never any respect, he constantly lied to me. Tried to hide his smoking and drinking habits which he knew I hated. Spent my hard earned money frivolously without a thought at how hard I had really worked to make it and then being unable to pay our bills because someone needed a 12 pack 3 times weekly and that's just the tip of the ice berg. I work over time shifts every week to support our family. He tried to come into the home that I painstakingly purchased for us high as a kite and drunk as a skunk. I refused to let him in, this usually ends in violence my secrete shame. I locked the doors and was trying to call the police when he barged in right at me throwing my phone across the house. I grabbed the pepper spray and tried to defend myself, which was a mistake, it only made him angrier. He charged at me and threw me to the floor slamming my head against the wall and screaming at me. He pinched up my face and got so close with his alcoholic breath that I thought I would die he just kept jerking my head back and forth. Then he threw me on the bed and laid on top of me so I couldn't move. I thought I was going to die. He finally went to sleep, I pushed him off of me and tried to sleep; I had to be at the hospital the next day to work a 12. The next morning I asked him to leave and he slammed me up against the mirror several times with my face pinched asking me why. Luckily I made it to work and when I came home he was gone. We both have dogs and he took them both. I am devastated I don't know where he is or when he is coming back. All his stuff is here. I want my dog back. I changed all the locks in my house today but I'm scared of what he'll do to me if he gets in.
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replied September 8th, 2010
Community Volunteer
Contact your local police, file a report, get an order of protection...whatever you do: Do NOT allow yourself to be alone with him at any given time...make sure there is police presence...

Zig
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replied September 9th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
please dont let him back into youre life after what he has done, no matter how much he will say i love you im soo sorry i dont know what came over me.....its all a lie trust me it will get worse...good luck..Jenny
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