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unreasonable fear of death (Page 2)


February 20th, 2009
Experienced User
jpm40,
For many of us, we tend not to think about death and dying until we lose a loved one. When that happens it is normal to ponder on our own mortality. The reality is that we all live our lifes and eventually we do pass away. But dwelling on this while we are alive is not a constructive thing to do.
What I may suggest is that you look at the good things in your life and think about what you are looking to achieve or desire to achieve in this world.

You have two questions which can have very long and deep answers.
"What is the purpose of life" - This can be answered in many ways - scientifically, spiritually, philosophically. Spiritually, one would say that we are all children of God and that our existence is due to the hand and power of God and therefore we should be thankful and embrace this wonderful gift of conciousness for as long as God deems it for each individual. Scientifically, one could argue that we are evolved from organisms over hundreds of thousands of years and that we exist and live due to the natural biological functions inherent in the organisms. Philosophically, well, this is where we really ponder on what is the meaning of life and living - and this can get very deep - my opinion is that we live and exist because we think and reason and because we have the capability to even ask the questions that we ask; our meaning for living is to enjoy the fact that we, as individuals have the ability to know and realize the world around us.
I (and we) could go on for hours discussing this, and I have done so with friends over coffee many times.

"Why do we have to die" - Again, looking at this aspect from the various angles. Our bodies are organisms which have a specific expectency of growth and re-generation before the growth starts to ebb and then the body will deteriorte (this is old age). Spiritually, one can say that we come of this earth by God and when God is ready, we will be taken from this earth to another plain of existence. Philosophically, we must realize that our thinking, our loving, our fearing, and all of our other emotions are simply part of the consiousness that we use to know and realize our existence. Once that consiousness is gone, all the other aspects are gone.

Realizing that someday we all will pass away should motivate you to life each day as if it were your last (I know that this sounds cliche, but it really is true).

I know that I have rambled on a bit, but I really, honestly hope that this helps you in some way.

Take care,
Wendy
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replied March 5th, 2010
I am a year late on this post, but I’ll write anyways. I have the same problem. I have never talked to anyone about it, because I feel like it’s not something easy to explain. I am a 22 year old female and I am constantly crying about the thought of my loved ones dying. I know it’s a HORRIBLE thing to do, I feel like I am mourning for their death when they are alive. I have panic attacks about these thoughts ALL the time, and just like you said I do wish that if someone has to die, it would be me first before my loved ones. Does this mean I am weak and selfish because I can’t accept death myself and I want to leave others to suffer? I don’t know. I am constantly checking the news and reading stories about accidents and I cry for hours thinking what if that was my mom or dad or my boyfriend? I have become so paranoid that the worst thoughts run through my mind for everything. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now and if he is out driving and misses my call once I am checking the news for accidents. I hate myself for feeling this way. The university I attend offers counseling and I don’t want to go, I feel that these thoughts are silly and no one will understand or make me feel otherwise. When these thoughts hit me it feels like everything around me is turning dark, and I just go into a full blown panic attack. I don’t know how to help myself, there are days when I am ok, but there are nights like tonight that I can’t sleep I can’t study I am lost in my thoughts. I can’t enjoy life I am always paranoid for every little thing. And the weird thing is I don’t fear my own death at all, I accept that one day (hopefully later than sooner) I will die. How can i get over this feeling?
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replied January 22nd, 2011
Unreasonable fear of Death
So if you are religious why afraid of dying? It's not as though it's the end in your minds? I was raised religious but even by 6 I freak when I think about death. I'm not religious now I respect it and wish I was but... Life is all you have and when I think about it being over it makes me think about before I was born. No thought no anything... I try not to focus on it but when I think about it I freak. I know everyone dies n all but I don't understand and my mind just won't accept it. I've never known anyone as afraid of dying as I am or from such a young age. I am twenty two now and in the USMC I've never found a way to deal with it so I do my best to ignore it.
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