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uncontrolable rage issues since I was a child

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I have had anger issues and an uncontrolable rage issues since I was a child. I would jump on my sisters and beat the crap out of them for no reason. My parents took me to a child phycologist who recommended getting me a punching bag, which they did. When I broke that they let me continue to rip all the doors off the hinges in the house and then put one of them in my room to punch when I got angry. Now I am grown and have learned to control myself well enough not to hit people most of the time, unless I just black out all together which still occasionally happens when I get angry enough. I tried to take some depression medicanes to help with this but none have seemed to help. Now I am a single mother and really need to get this under control because I am scared that I will one day lose it in front of my daughter. What can I do? I don 't know what is causing the problem and it seems like the smallest things set me off. I am scared I am going to have to go to a mental institute.

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replied March 14th, 2011
Depression Answer A20840
Hi, thanks for using ehealth forum for your query.
You seem concerned by multiple problems from your description. The rage and anger episodes that you have described associated with you attacking your sisters could be due to the borderline personality disorder.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder have immense difficulty regulating their emotions. They display a marked hypersensitivity to other people and the stress of social interactions and emotional intimacy that leaves them on an emotional roller coaster that is terrifying to themselves and others. People with BPD become so overwhelmed by their own emotions that they lash out at their loved ones in unpredictable rages or turn their fear and anger inwards and act self destructively.
Psychotherapy is considered the treatment of choice for all personality disorders. Psychotherapy for the patient with Borderline Personality Disorder needs to be structured, and regular and consistent. The patient needs to be encouraged to talk calmly about feelings, experiences and problems, rather than rage and cry through them, as they may be tempted to do .The BPD needs help in learning new coping skills, and impulsivity and emotion regulation. There is co-morbid depression or bipolar depression associated in many cases which needs to be assessed by your psychiatrist.
You must consult your psychiatrist for psychotherapy sessions and you may practice yoga and meditation under supervision to calm yourself.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Note: This post is not to emphasise final diagnosis as the same cannot be made online and is aimed just to provide medical information and no treatment suggested above be taken without face to face consultation with health care professional.

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