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Twitching- and the story behind my new Anxiety/panic disorder

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Hey Forums my name is Daniel and im here to tell my story so people can relate to me, give me advice, maybe meet some friends to help me get through this. Just wanted to say sorry in advance; i have terrible grammar and spelling and i'm trying to type out my life story here. And btw its going to be a wall of text.

So here is my story. I was playing a video game (MMO) at about 4am. I get a twitch in my left temple area, thought it was werid and continued. Next my right temple twitches, then the right one again. So i said okay time for me to go to bed i don't want to have a seizure. When i went into bed i felt pressure where it had twitched. I Remember my Professor in class telling us about Tetanus and i thought maybe i had Tetanus and i had a HUGE PANIC attack. My heart pounded out of my chest and it felt like pure adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I COULD not calm down, i thought i was going to die.

So i never slept that night, when to work the next day. After work i came home and couldn't sleep again. I would JERK out of sleep right before entering it, so i got out of the bed, i felt like my body was vibrating. It felt like i was falling when ever i layed down. I really thought i was going to die. I don't have health Insurance so i didn't go to ER.

The next day was sunday and i found an urgent care doctors office and made an appointment.... They said lets do some blood work. They said i don't have tetanus and i told them i stoped working out after recently taking up college and that i gained like 40 LBS in a month from eating any and every thing i wanted. ( BTW im 6ft white and i weigh 220, and i was around 183, and i stay up late and sleep when ever i want. so they wanted to do blood work to see if i had a potassium sodium inbalance.

Blood work comes back and the Doctor calls me in class and tells me im going to need some MORE TESTS because my BILIRUBEN levels were elevated far beyond normal peoples.( Normal people 1.3? mine was 5.6 i think or 4.6

Okay so lets take a break. BTW im 21.... married... and always was stress free before this. BTW im also a hypercondriact always have been, but never so affected till this latest panic attack.

SO i get that news, and how do you think i took this great news? Well lets go back i basically had a huge panic attack after feeling pressure in my temples and thinking it was Tetanus Farfetched right?

Now a Doctor is telling me yeah this doesn't look good... your Bilirubens high... he tells me it could be Hep A,B,C... gal-stone... or Worse... he knew not to tell me anymore, he did however tell me it could be from a past mono infection.

So he wanted more blood work... ALOT more he tested for everything i got an ultrasound done of my stomach. All this happened over 1-3 weeks. I thought i was going to die the whole time. I was a mess when i went in for the Ultrasound the whole time i thought the worse. I couldn't sleep at all ... the doctor gave me ambien ( a sleep drug) and as soon as it wore off 4-6 hours i would wake up. those first few weeks i would drench pillows in sweat, and jerk awake in panic.

Then Half way during all this i noticed twitching in my legs, it didn't bother me to much until a friend linked me something and i learned about ALS ... instant panic, i thought i had it. ... to this day i still fear the worst. ... more on that later...

So as the Tests come back negative for all the terrible diseases and viruses my doctor looks over the ultrasound and he tells me my liver is a little fatty and that my spleens enlarged and that he wants to send me to a specialist for the liver because he tested me already for everything that he could. So i go to the Specialist and even before i go there i feel better about the whole liver and spleen situation because the doctor told me i probably just have Gilberts Syndrome ( Increase in biliruben in some people its harmless) but he wanted the GI Specialists blessing before he was satisfied.

Btw i told this doctor about my Anxiety and panic and he wanted to give me Paxil but i looked up the drug and it scared the living hell out of me. so i decided to try to deal with this on my own.

So while waiting to see the Specialist my fear of twitching increased and with it the twitching grew more often. And i scared myself so bad again that i was going to die from the twitches and that it would be MS, ALS ect... i hate even typing this because i still don't actually know...

So i talked to my doctor and told him the twitching incrased and that its all over my body now, not just in my legs i told him im scared i have ALS and he looked at me and told me no... he did some muscle weakness tests on me told me im fine and that if i lose control of my bladder or lose control of a muscle that i could come in because thats more serious. He told me my Anxiety is probably causing it and that i shouldn't worry.

But i did... and do... its the new me. So for the last 2 months i've been getting worse and worse... twitches increase, and get stronger if im really scared. Although i'm told its from anxiety i'm so scared its a disease that i will slowly die from it makes me worse and worse with each twitch.

I went from an A student to a b-c student due to not being able to concentrate on anything.

All i did for 3 weeks was check to see if my muscles still worked and obsessed over it (i just checked my muscles while typing this) Its pure hell ( 2 times i felt light "Vibrations" above my knee)

During this time i found out i can't watch scary movies anymore because it makes me anxious and then i start feeling more stuff.

Theres much more to my story but ill skip ahead.

I'm seeing a Therapist and a Nurse proscribed Citalopram" (spelling might be off) and i've been taking it for 4 days.

I'm not to crazy at my anxiety right now... feeling a little better. the twiching went down alot, its still there though and still bothers me mentally.

I'm starting to Meditate its okay and i started running. And BTW the doctor didn't want to test me for ALS/ms/ect because he said they are expensive and that he didn't want to put my body through any radiation if he could help it.

I've been trying to relax ever since i took my new meds.... trying to feel safe is hard.

I decided to quit my degree at becoming a nurse ... Hyperdondriact + Nurseing = probably not the best field for me to be in.

I'll keep everyone posted on how im doing. Just know you guys are not the only ones twitching
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replied December 24th, 2010
Ask your doc to put you on Zoloft. Works wonders with Anxiety and Panic disorders!
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replied January 2nd, 2011
Thank God for you, not that you're having these syptoms. Its good to know I'm not alone. I suffer from stress, anxiety, and depression. I have twitching 2. The extreme of them varies, when i'm stessed or cycle time they are constant. Its could be one area or my whole body. Hypercondr____(can't spell, but u know what I mean) I am. I can take a headache and make it brain cancer. There could be nothing and I would worry so bad until I'd make myself sick. A pill seems to be the cure to all things, but after I read the possible side effects I'm afraid to take the meds. If by chance I play big girl and take the med, I'll have every side effect because I'll worry and worry, and make myself sick. I know I'm writing this with humor because if you're like me you can use a laugh. On a serious note, I can relate, you r not alone. I hate that you r experiencing this, I would not wish this feeling on an enemy. God Bless.
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replied January 3rd, 2011
Hi Prayerworks Smile im glad you could relate to me and find a little if any comfort in that. I hope your doing well and i will pray for you.I know our situation sucks but i have a little update.

So i started taking Citalopram a few weeks ago and its helped out alot. I'm still the same person who thinks about their body and worry, but the medication keeps my body under control and helps me not worry as much and keeps it from freaking out when a twitch or werid feeling comes along. My twitching has gone down ALOT maybe 80-95% of my twitches have gone away after taking the medication and relaxing. Which i guess is good news. I still however do have twitching happening every now and then which i think if i wasn't on the meds would cause me to think about them and freak myself out again. So at the moment im just giving the medication time and trying to mature my brain and accept that ill be okay.

Ill keep an update going on this page of how im doing and sharing so people don't feel they are the only ones twitching from anxiety or at least lets hope its just that Smile.

And prayer another note... try not to look up anything on the internet cause i know that upsets me more than anything. Seems like our knowledge bites us in the ass with our problem :)Have a happy new year everyone talk to ya guys later
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replied March 20th, 2011
Just an update, i'm still twitching frequently. I'm off Citalopram for now had to ween myself off after being droped from a mental health place.... but i'm ok starting to coup with my disorders with stress/anxiety.. although the twitching still worries me i try to meditate alot... will keep an update~
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