Last night my girlfriend's parents caught us together in the room. I have been sneaking in her window after he parents are asleep every night for about 2 weeks just to spend time/chill/watch movies together, that's it, but never got caught until tonight. It was suppose to be her special night because it's her birthday and I brought her present. We celebrated with a few drinks and got buzzed, that's why we were laughing and were loud enough for her parents in the next room to hear us.

Her parents of course were FURIOUS, I was so afraid to get my ass handed to me by her father but thank god I made it home without a scratch. I don't even know if her parents will even let her see me after what happened last night. If they do I hope they find in their heart to forgive me and let me apologize to them.
If they really do those things it's going to take me forever to gain their trust back!!!!

I don't know what to do...
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replied August 4th, 2009
Oh yeah, you messed up.

About the only thing you can do is go directly to the father and mother and apologize again, face to face and of your own free will. Make sure they understand you are apologizing because you were wrong, not because you want something. If anything they will respect that you were honest and strong enough to do that. Make committments to never do it again and probably even volunteer to check in with them at regular times, etc. Their position is that they have the right to control things anyway and they will be very po'd if they think you're suggesting that you are giving them anything they can't already take. ASK THEM for suggestions DO NOT tell him how you will "give" them more say in things. And also, admit you were wrong, give no excuses. You should probably let them know you want to talk to them as sson as possible but give them a little time to cool down before you actually do it. A day or two should be enough.

If they accept, the problem then becomes sticking to the plan. Having Mom & Dad over your shoulder will make for a pretty hard relationship and may not be worth it. Regardless of whether you decide to continue the relationship, it would be smart thing and the right thing to apologize again though.

Not to sidetrack too much, but this is perfect example of why it's wise to monitor yourself. When you build trust up front, you get more room to move. The cost of fixing things (if they can even be fixed) are ALWAYS higher than the cost general maintenance. That said, you didn't do anything that hasn't been done for hundreds of years by millions of people...doesn't make it smart or right though nor does it make for a legit excuse.

Good luck to you on this. The fact you understand why the sh*t hit the fan makes me believe you have a decent chance in this.
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replied August 4th, 2009
Thank you so much for the reply/advice.

I really love this girl and I want to be with her. I want to call them up and ask for permission to come to their house to apologize to both of them face to face. I and her made a poor decision about the drinking as well. I take full responsibility for what I have done and I will suffer the consequences.

I really hope they will give me a chance to apologize and still be together with their daughter, I can live with them watching over my shoulders but I put this on myself.
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replied August 10th, 2009
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my son is 13 years old and im a strict single mom. if he was a girl i wouldnt let you in my house any more. i would tell my child that you are a bad influence with the drinking and sneaking.
every parent is different, and people make mistakes, so if you get the chance to apologize i hope they forgive you.
you have to understand how precious a young girls is to her parents.
how old are you?
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replied August 10th, 2009
Experienced User
My fiance was in that situation. My guardian put a no contact order on him for a year when he snuck in my window when i was 13. Im 20 now and she honestly didnt really get over it until i was 16 1/2. But love has its ways. And me & my fiance did everything just to be together. BUT the thing that saved our butts was we were sleeping. NO alcohol. I wouldnt let that be in our relationship nor drugs. Apologies are excuses pretty much. Unless you explain your love for her like my fiance did. We are engaged and ttc now. Im happy with him and love him dearly.
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replied August 10th, 2009
I got to talk to her on the phone and she says her mother is willing to talk to me but her father is still pissed off and is not ready yet. I am 19 and she is 18, I know the alcohol was a really bad idea, they didn't find out about the alcohol though.
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replied August 10th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Come clean
Come clean about everything. They need to hear the whole story without any holes. Tell them how long you've been sneaking into their home, tell them you brought alcohol to their daughter and why you did it. Tell them very vaguely that you and their daughter haven't been doing anything inappropriate, just cheating curfew to spend more time togather. Even if dad isn't talking to you you're going to have to face him sooner or later. Manning up and accounting for what you did wrong is much more important to Dad's ability to trust you than mom's.

When you do talk to them, just like brokeninside said, this is all your fault. Mom and Dad weren't too restrictive with their daughter, daughter didn't seduce you into this. You knew this was a wrong and you made a loveblind mistake and you regret they way you went about things. Tell them that you believe their daughter loves you very much and you certainly know you love her and would never do anything you thought would hurt her. Tell them that you have come to them to own up to your mistake because you want to be the kind of man that deserves that love. Accect that if they allow you to see her at all there are going to be some seriously outragious restrictions and you've totally earned them by breaking and enterring into their home. realize she'll be old enough to get out on her own before too long and that if that doesn't happen soon, provided you don't screw up anything else with the parents, they will get tired of distrusting a boy who makes their daughter happy and just start trusting you.
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
You just have to gain your trust back. Trust me. I know how the whole thing goes. BUT DO NOT DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN!!! or else it will be a million times harder to earn their trust again.
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replied August 11th, 2009
I did not bring the alcohol, a couple hours before I went there at night she asked if I wanted to have some drinks. I agreed, mistakenly, I thought it was going to be a couple of sips but she filled 3 full water bottles full of Vodka, Triple Sec, and Smirnoff. We ended up drinking 2 full water bottles of them.

I'm just standing by and waiting for her mom to say come and talk and I will fess up to everything and prove that I do love her very much and care for her and would do anything to gain their trust back.
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
Well. Drinking isnt good. And im guessing she is underage and thats a NONO. thats something you need to talk to her about dont infuluence her to drink she has all the time in the world for that stuff when she turns 21. Settle for dates. going to the movies,out to dinner, stuff like that.Look at it this way lets say you had a daughter... youd want the ideal man for her right? So be the man youd let your daughter date...(confusin i kno) But her dad is thinkin your not good enough because of what you guys did. He doesnt see it as her fault he blames everything on you. So be a better man and show her dad that you can be there for his daughter and that you love her. Moms usually are more forgiving than dads REMEMBER THATS HIS LITTLE GIRL. Youll never be good enough to him but you want to get on his good side and get his approval.
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replied August 11th, 2009
How can I show him when he's still pissed off at me and isn't ready to even see me yet let alone talk to me.
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
give him time. he'll come around. try sitting down and writing a letter (give it to the mom or your gf to give to him) but give him a while.. Remeber what i said thats his little princess. So of course he is gonna be mad right now.
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replied August 11th, 2009
I actually did write a letter to them, I put it in their mailbox. When I talked to her on the phone the other day I told her to check it but she said her mom already checked the mail and probably got it but didn't say anything to her about it yet.
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
oh okay well thats good. Smile Now all you have to do is WAIT
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replied August 11th, 2009
*sigh* 1 week of waiting past already, I wonder how much longer, I haven't seen my gf for 1 week too, I barely get to talk to her. Only been contacting her through Myspace
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
well if she is in love with you too. she will also wait. LOVE is worth waiting for trust me. Me& my fiance had it out pretty rough until i was 18. we agrued a lot because of think and i wasnt a good gf when my aunt was mad and i didnt get to see him. I cheated. 2times. He still hasnt fully recoverd from it but i think we are doing way better now. We are trying for a little one and getting married. I love him. I messed up big time on our relationship... I wish i could take it back. I wish we would have never started sneaking around in the first place... But if it wasnt for our mistakes we wouldnt be getting married ... so if this is true love you both can wait.
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replied August 11th, 2009
She is in love with me, I can see it in her. We do have some arguments about me doing more for her than she does for me and she feels like she wants to make it up to me, other than that we barely fight.

I will try to keep it together and wait however long her parents need because I know she is worth it.
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replied August 12th, 2009
Hey Alicia,

I sent you a message, check your Inbox please. Smile
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replied August 12th, 2009
Experienced User
i sent you a message back go check lol
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replied August 12th, 2009
I added you, but your Offline Neutral
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