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Topics create anxious about bipolar relationship

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Hi there,

My fiance has just recently been diagnosed with bipolar. Sometimes this is a relief, as I can now separate the illness from the person I am engaged to. But then, when I notice particularly manic behaviour, or when he lashes out for no reason, or when I feel like he is not listening to a word I am saying because he is thinking about what he is about to say, or just said, the thought creeps into my head, "is this really a relationship??"

I have decided to stick it out with my partner, to hold on to the light at the end of the tunnel that he will get better, or be able to manage his illness to the degree that he can (most of the time) be able to give me the support and love that all people deserve in a marriage. But at the moment, I feel like his carer, with no benefits given back. I have to turn the other cheek when he becomes agitated, or forgets to do chores, or is so preoccuppied that he forgets to manage his own life (car keys, marking assignments, etc) and I am forced to bail him out.

Does anyone else out there feel that reading the bad stories on these kind of forums creates the feeling that there is no real happiness in being in a relationship with a person with bipolar?
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replied March 10th, 2011
Hi, welcome to the ehealth forum and I am glad to help you.
Relationship is a very personal feeling that you have out of love for somebody and sometimes people are happy in helping somebody who really requires that. This you have to decide and ask yourself clearly what you want in a relationship.
Bipolar disorder is a recurrent illness. Though some patients live highly functional lives, others(about 30%) have cognitive deficits in the form of memory loss developing over time and impairment of function.
There are lot of drugs and other therapies to help the cause, for which you need to make him stay in regular touch with his psychiatrist .
Hope this helps. Take care.

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