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He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross

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Well, my boyfriend of four years the one who used to admire me and love me soo much now says.. I am too fat and he doesn't even want to look at me naked anymore. You know IT HURTS.. I KEEP trying these stupid quick fixes I feel so gross and ugly I don't even want to leave the house. I just hate myself. He was my eating buddy he would take me out for fast food order pizza. NOW I am gross just out of the blue. He doesn't even look at me the same. He doesn't do nice things for me. I pretty much just fend for myself. He treats me like I am a piece of crap. He treats the dog better than me. All my life I have felt self conscience about my weight even when I was dieting and under weight I just felt gross. Now, I have PCOS and its harder to lose weight and I gain it so quickly. I am not small I am a size 22
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replied July 9th, 2007
I'm really nobody to give advice on weight loss, seeing as how I'm not handling it in a healthy manner right now but I felt I should state the obvious-

Nobody deserves to be treated the way you're describing your boyfriend as treating you. There's no excuse for saying those things to you.

If he's unhappy with your appearance, rather than being rude about it, it would be better for him to help you and work with you (and maybe on himself as well).

I'm sorry I don't have any weight loss tips for you, but I'm sure somebody else will come forward with excellent advice, as they always seem to.

Just keep your head up and realize that he's not a real man if he has to put you down like that.
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replied July 10th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
lovesmesomedico wrote:
I'm really nobody to give advice on weight loss, seeing as how I'm not handling it in a healthy manner right now but I felt I should state the obvious-

Nobody deserves to be treated the way you're describing your boyfriend as treating you. There's no excuse for saying those things to you.

If he's unhappy with your appearance, rather than being rude about it, it would be better for him to help you and work with you (and maybe on himself as well).

I'm sorry I don't have any weight loss tips for you, but I'm sure somebody else will come forward with excellent advice, as they always seem to.

Just keep your head up and realize that he's not a real man if he has to put you down like that.


That was a nice reply. Keep your head up, and don't let him bring you down.
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replied July 13th, 2007
Experienced User
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
_Nay_ wrote:
SHED A FEW POUNDS THEN


Well that's just easier said than done...


My fiance doesn't say it to me at all but when I say things about how I look he just says if you feel that way do something about it...which basically to me says...I agree...it makes you feel like crap it really does I understand completely. Please try not to let those things get you down it's not going to help you at all and he should understand that these things he says will NOT help you lose weight it may just make it worse in some cases. He doesn't deserve you at all if this is how he is going to treat you when you gain weight! He should love and want the person within and he should encourage you to lose weight and be positive. If he can't do that for you it's going to make things so much harder.

I would say to go to your doctor and speak with them about how they can help you do something about your weight.

Good Luck.
I understand what you are going through with this so if you need to talk pm me
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replied July 13th, 2007
Supporter
I am a heavy girl too I weigh anywhere from190 to 220lbs in any givin month as I am on meds that increase your weight and some that decrease my weight so the never ending yo yo Some thing I do now and seems to be working as I am down not in weight but in sizes I have gone from a 22 to an 16-20 depending on style I have larger breasts so smaller sizes do not fit them. Anyways I have cut all the refind sugar out of my diet and added more fiber I cook or bake with splenda tests best I drink 2 glasses of water a day trying to do more but do not like taste of water but it is a start. For fiber I eat a bowl of sherreded wheat for breakfast and for a snack before bed like 2 hours before. try not to eat anything in the 2 hours befoore bed other wise it sits in your tummy. Also trying keep veggies cut up so you cansnack on them celery is great and carrots just put water in a glass and leave them on the table and have some when ever you would like the water keeps it crispy. I have also lost about 15lbs since june 1 doing this. Give it a try. But do it for you not him. other wise it will not work because you will never keep it up. Also do not let him put you down. It makes no difference if you are 500lbs or 10lbs what anyone thinks it is what you think that matters. You are a beautiful person remember that. I know it is easier said than done. But what I have shared with you is a life style change not a diet for awhile. best of luck let me know how things turn out.
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replied July 13th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
_Nay_ wrote:
SHED A FEW POUNDS THEN


Thats pretty harsh. the girl sounds pretty upset and then You go and say something like that.. I think she posted it for support and advice. Not to read something like that.. OH and if you think your advice was.. SHED a couple of pounds why don't you mak it constructive.
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replied July 13th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
karebare293 wrote:
I am a heavy girl too I weigh anywhere from190 to 220lbs in any givin month as I am on meds that increase your weight and some that decrease my weight so the never ending yo yo Some thing I do now and seems to be working as I am down not in weight but in sizes I have gone from a 22 to an 16-20 depending on style I have larger breasts so smaller sizes do not fit them. Anyways I have cut all the refind sugar out of my diet and added more fiber I cook or bake with splenda tests best I drink 2 glasses of water a day trying to do more but do not like taste of water but it is a start. For fiber I eat a bowl of sherreded wheat for breakfast and for a snack before bed like 2 hours before. try not to eat anything in the 2 hours befoore bed other wise it sits in your tummy. Also trying keep veggies cut up so you cansnack on them celery is great and carrots just put water in a glass and leave them on the table and have some when ever you would like the water keeps it crispy. I have also lost about 15lbs since june 1 doing this. Give it a try. But do it for you not him. other wise it will not work because you will never keep it up. Also do not let him put you down. It makes no difference if you are 500lbs or 10lbs what anyone thinks it is what you think that matters. You are a beautiful person remember that. I know it is easier said than done. But what I have shared with you is a life style change not a diet for awhile. best of luck let me know how things turn out.


WOW Great job! Thats awesome. I should have posted this on this part of the website about some sweetners... I will in the next post... I just want to thank you for giving he some good feed back that 'shed a few pounds' really burns me. because I was on a medication that made me gain weight a one point.. I went on a great diet and lost the weight. I also know what Karebare was talking about my boyfriend too told me the same if you think its bad do something about it, but from the way he looked at me I knew he thought it was bad. I think I got up to 240. I was a plus size model through out university. Now I am 145 I lost 95 pounds which was VERY hard to do, but in the end I feel better about myself and you know whats kinda funny. He still 'sometimes' looks at me that way. So, maybe there wasn't anything wrong with me..
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replied July 13th, 2007
Experienced User
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
LauraDs wrote:
Well, my boyfriend of four years the one who used to admire me and love me soo much now says.. I am too fat and he doesn't even want to look at me naked anymore. You know IT HURTS.. I KEEP trying these stupid quick fixes I feel so gross and ugly I don't even want to leave the house. I just hate myself. He was my eating buddy he would take me out for fast food order pizza. NOW I am gross just out of the blue. He doesn't even look at me the same. He doesn't do nice things for me. I pretty much just fend for myself. He treats me like I am a piece of crap. He treats the dog better than me. All my life I have felt self conscience about my weight even when I was dieting and under weight I just felt gross. Now, I have PCOS and its harder to lose weight and I gain it so quickly. I am not small I am a size 22


He should NOT be treating you like that, thats ridiculous...if my bf gained a few pounds so what..i love him, what i would do is maybe suggest us start eating healthier together and working out together bc i could stand to loose a few pounds myself...for him to treat you the way he does is uncalled for...also, dont do a quick fix diet..i always say, if you loose it quick..you'll put it on just as fast if not faster!!! just really watch what you eat and maybe walk 30 minutes or so a day, you'll be surprised how much better you feel! i've also found that if i stay active, i eat healthier...if i lay around..i eat junk lol...but keep your head up and do it for YOU not him
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replied July 13th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
worrywart001 wrote:
LauraDs wrote:
Well, my boyfriend of four years the one who used to admire me and love me soo much now says.. I am too fat and he doesn't even want to look at me naked anymore. You know IT HURTS.. I KEEP trying these stupid quick fixes I feel so gross and ugly I don't even want to leave the house. I just hate myself. He was my eating buddy he would take me out for fast food order pizza. NOW I am gross just out of the blue. He doesn't even look at me the same. He doesn't do nice things for me. I pretty much just fend for myself. He treats me like I am a piece of crap. He treats the dog better than me. All my life I have felt self conscience about my weight even when I was dieting and under weight I just felt gross. Now, I have PCOS and its harder to lose weight and I gain it so quickly. I am not small I am a size 22


He should NOT be treating you like that, thats ridiculous...if my bf gained a few pounds so what..i love him, what i would do is maybe suggest us start eating healthier together and working out together bc i could stand to loose a few pounds myself...for him to treat you the way he does is uncalled for...also, dont do a quick fix diet..i always say, if you loose it quick..you'll put it on just as fast if not faster!!! just really watch what you eat and maybe walk 30 minutes or so a day, you'll be surprised how much better you feel! i've also found that if i stay active, i eat healthier...if i lay around..i eat junk lol...but keep your head up and do it for YOU not him


I totally agree with you! You're right. I suppose sometimes men are alot harsher than woman.
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replied July 30th, 2007
Experienced User
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
LauraDs wrote:
Well, my boyfriend of four years the one who used to admire me and love me soo much now says.. I am too fat and he doesn't even want to look at me naked anymore.


Get rid. He's pulling you down, and it sounds like a pretty poor relationship, so you might be happier without him. That might give you a more positive attitude that you can use in your diet/exercise plan and make it more successful. Good luck.
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replied July 31st, 2007
Experienced User
Re: He Doesn't Even Want to Look At Me I Am Soo Gross
LauraDs wrote:
Well, my boyfriend of four years the one who used to admire me and love me soo much now says.. I am too fat and he doesn't even want to look at me naked anymore. You know IT HURTS.. I KEEP trying these stupid quick fixes I feel so gross and ugly I don't even want to leave the house. I just hate myself. He was my eating buddy he would take me out for fast food order pizza. NOW I am gross just out of the blue. He doesn't even look at me the same. He doesn't do nice things for me. I pretty much just fend for myself. He treats me like I am a piece of crap. He treats the dog better than me. All my life I have felt self conscience about my weight even when I was dieting and under weight I just felt gross. Now, I have PCOS and its harder to lose weight and I gain it so quickly. I am not small I am a size 22

i agree with shed the pounds guy. but after you do and look great. leave the guy. That'll teach him.
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replied July 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think the most important question to ask is "How do you feel about yourself?" If you truly wish to change your weight, change your lifestyle. Reinvent yourelf. Don't do it for someone else, do it for you. You are the only one who will be with you guaranteed all your life, and thus, you are the only one you need to answer to. Generate an image of yourself in your mind and then begin to emulate that image. If you walk around telling yourself "I'm fat. I am unhealthy. I don't exercise. I eat unhealthy foods" then you are exactly right. If you start to think of yourself as a healthy person, your actions will follow.

Also, start slowly. Don't expect instant results. Go for a 5 minute walk one day. Make it 6 the next day. Then next day go for 10. Keep increasing the amount of time you spend being active. Keep it varied and do things you enjoy. I used to say I only ran when chased, but I started slowly and have worked really hard on it. I just ran my forst 10K in May and will be doing a half-marathon in October. It took a long time for me to get here, but it was worth it.

About foods, I am not sure what types of foods you are eating now, but you mentioned pizza, etc. Start by eating only at home. We all cook much more healthy foods in our own homes than they do in restraunts and fast food places. Substitute one helathy snack a day for a candy bar, cookie, or bag of chips. Then build from there. Check out some Cooking Light Magazines. They have great recipes in there and they focus on substituting fat and calories, not taste.


About this man who has said these things to you-once you get yourself ina healthy place, it will be quite obvious to you whether or not he fits into it or not. When you feel good about yourself, it is much easier to make the right choices for your spiiritual and bodily health.

I hope this helps.
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replied August 3rd, 2007
Shed the Bf
how much the your BF weigh because that is exactly how many LBS you need to shed out of your life. I have been ridiculed and made fun of my whole life for having a huge butt! I mean I can sit in most chairs with arms and rollercoasters and airplains are tight squeezez! I grew a thick skin and learned to love my body. Sure I am always looking to lose some weight or try that new diet but hey all in all I am happier with my self. Drop the loser and anyone else that tells you crap and you will find losing weight for yourself will come easier!

Hang in there girl!
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replied September 13th, 2018
Experienced User
Does your weight prevent you from living? Then you need to see a dietician. He will pick up your physical activities and diet.
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