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I Feel So Guilty, I Am Attracted to Another Man

I feel very bad, I am attracted to a guy at work. I have been with my guy for a year and we have been friends for four years. we are living together and I am very commited to him. I love him and I cannot possible see myself with any other man.

But when I get to work that changes, a little. This other guy is married and has children. Its so wrong to even be saying these things but I cant posibly tell Daniel. I have to tell someone

This guy at work is older he is very athletic, he is a good talker and thats as much as I know. I can tell he likes me in a more than friend way. But I try to keep my distance. I would never cheat on Daniel.

Has anyone else felt this way? Please help, is this normal or am I headed for a disaster?
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replied July 6th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think you would be a frigid cow if you were not attracted to other men. Wink Just because you enter a relationship does not mean that part of you turns off instantly.

The difference now is the choice you make. Do you act on the attraction? Do you let it go?

If you decide to act on it, then that might be nothing more than a sign that you are not ready for a committed relationship.

I think you are normal. I bet you would be hard pressed to find a woman who was not attracted to other men during the course of a committed relationship.
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replied July 9th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I totally agree! you can't just not look at other people or turn yourslef off when you have someone.its instinct and its nothing you should feel bad about.its all about the choices you make.
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replied July 10th, 2007
Experienced User
I agree with Birch and Melissa.................lots of hot guys around.............kindof makes the work/school day go faster when you got some eye candy to look at....................but don't touch! Married?smooth talker? flirter?..........................it's got "Player" written all over it! Smile
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replied August 2nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Yeah the players were the ones I was attracted to before. I needed to change cause it never worked out.

Its was just weird cause I have checked out other men, but this one I was started to fantasize about! He took up too much of my mental space. It was a little scary.

But he got fired from work so I dont see him anymore. So I dont have to worry anymore.

Thanks for your help.
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replied August 2nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: I Feel So Guilty, I Am Attracted to Another Man
Rosie H wrote:
I feel very bad, I am attracted to a guy at work. I have been with my guy for a year and we have been friends for four years. we are living together and I am very commited to him. I love him and I cannot possible see myself with any other man.

But when I get to work that changes, a little. This other guy is married and has children. Its so wrong to even be saying these things but I cant posibly tell Daniel. I have to tell someone

This guy at work is older he is very athletic, he is a good talker and thats as much as I know. I can tell he likes me in a more than friend way. But I try to keep my distance. I would never cheat on Daniel.

Has anyone else felt this way? Please help, is this normal or am I headed for a disaster?


Yes like Birch said it is normal.. But Please don't act on it if you are happy with your guy.. And please not with a married man.. Most men that are married end up going back with their wives.. Not all but most.. and you will hurt a lot of people.. But yeah it's a nice feeling to be attracted to another man.. Just think long and hard before you act or send a wrong signel.
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replied August 2nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
yeah no married men. I have been there and done that. I have played all the games with the men and their women. Its not something I like to admit but thats what happened. So there was no question in my mind if i would do something. I know and understand what would and could happen. I think its just the lure of it all, sick as it sounds.

I have made a huge step with Daniel and it scares me. I have never let myself be known by a man until him. Once the year mark came close I was gone, NO MATTER WHAT.

So that may have something to do with it. Its hard to work at a relationship. Thanks for understanding me.
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replied August 2nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Rosie H wrote:
yeah no married men. I have been there and done that. I have played all the games with the men and their women. Its not something I like to admit but thats what happened. So there was no question in my mind if i would do something. I know and understand what would and could happen. I think its just the lure of it all, sick as it sounds.

I have made a huge step with Daniel and it scares me. I have never let myself be known by a man until him. Once the year mark came close I was gone, NO MATTER WHAT.

So that may have something to do with it. Its hard to work at a relationship. Thanks for understanding me.


You're welcome.. woman understand.. Smile
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replied August 7th, 2007
Experienced User
be very careful though. This is how most relationships/affairs happen.
If you find yourself thinking about him after hours(which you must or you wouldnt be posting this), it may lead to more.
Simply put, put yourself in his wifes shoes and his kids. If you were his wife, would you approve the way you are feeling about him.
Finding someone attracted is one thing, but fantasizing or thinking of that person regularly when you are involved in a relationship is another.

Just be careful...for his wife and kids sake.
There are 2 kinds of affairs. Emotional and physical. Is this an emotional affair? Often they lead to physical.
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replied October 28th, 2007
Re: I Feel So Guilty, I Am Attracted to Another Man
oh my god rosie i thought it was just me in this dilemma, i have been with my fella for a year and a half, yeh ok he aint my normal type, looks- wise but he is amazing treats me well ,and makes me laugh. i work in a cafe, i was doing fine till this lad walked in about a month and a half ago and he is everything i would normally go for , i tried to resist him but i have got to the point where i just want to be with him even for a day. i am supposed to go out with him on saturday that is six days away, i cry myself to sleep because i know what i am doing is so wrong, but i cant get him out of my head , i just dont know what to do please e mail me personally and try and help me there is so much more to this story but i dont want to post it for all to see should i go and meet this lad next week he knoes about my fella by the way x please help i am distraught x x x
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replied October 30th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
This Is Something I Got, It Sure Does Ring True
"IF A MAN WANTS YOU"
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."  A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don 't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don 't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.  He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.  Change comes from within.
Don 't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don 't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............
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