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Anyone have any experience with foster parenting, or being a foster child? I have been interested in doing this for some time.

Thanks!
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replied June 26th, 2007
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my aunt and uncle did foster parenting for many years. it's really great but then again it's really really hard. they'd have 1 or 2 kids for a few months or up to about 2 years before they were sent back to their parents or adopted. you get really attached and it's so hard when they have to leave, but then again it's worth it because you know that you gave that child a good home for that amount of time and that's all you could do.

i think foster parenting is a great idea, just know that there are a lot of tears involved.
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replied June 26th, 2007
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Re: Foster Parenting
We were fostering to adopt a child, age 10, a few years ago. It still very emotional for me to even talk about because we really had grown to love the child. We have a bio-child who was age 2 at the time. His safety was in jeopardy, I think due to jealousy issues. The agency really should have only considered families with older children or no children for him. It was a great injustice to him. We feel like failures but had to do what's right for both kids involved. Thankfully, the child is being adopted by a family that has only older siblings. We do still have open communication with the child (can't say name -confidentiality) and hope to for years to come.

We are going to be foster parents again, when the children are considerably older. I am expecting child #2 in four weeks. I won't consider foster care until the children are at least 8 years old. We are considering in a few years doing respite care for medically fragile or younger children, although my heart has always been for older foster kids.

Fostering is hard work but is really worth it. If you don't have younger bio kids at home, I would strongly recommend it if your heart is being pushed in that direction. When you have younger biological kids and take in older foster kids, it can just get too emotional for the foster kids. Our experience was just so unfortunate.

I actually wanted to be a foster parent or adopt an older child for as long as I can remember. At first, I never really wanted my own children because I wanted to go down the foster or foster to adopt road. Please do it if it's on your heart and mind. These children really need some consistency. It takes a strong person, not just a kind-hearted person, to be able to foster.

If you are interested in more details about my personal experience, I can pm you.
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replied June 26th, 2007
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i was in the foster system for 1 year... i got beat everyday and was even driven to attempting suicide... would you ever imagine a 11 year old attempting suicide?... didn't think so... but sometimes you get lucky and find a good foster home, one were your actually taken care of, one where you are fed and clothed, one where you don't get your Christmas presents taken away for having a nosebleed on the kitchen floor because you got punched in the face by your foster moms 18 year old daughter.

So, if your looking to be a foster parent, please keep the children in mind. keep all of the children who you could make or break in mind, and then do your best! go for it, change the way children and parents think about foster care!
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replied June 26th, 2007
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Azure777 wrote:
i was in the foster system for 1 year... i got beat everyday and was even driven to attempting suicide... would you ever imagine a 11 year old attempting suicide?... didn't think so... but sometimes you get lucky and find a good foster home, one were your actually taken care of, one where you are fed and clothed, one where you don't get your Christmas presents taken away for having a nosebleed on the kitchen floor because you got punched in the face by your foster moms 18 year old daughter.

So, if your looking to be a foster parent, please keep the children in mind. keep all of the children who you could make or break in mind, and then do your best! go for it, change the way children and parents think about foster care!


I am so sorry about your foster care experience. That is so horrible. I am glad you only had to experience it for one year, but even one day in those circumstances is too long.
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replied June 26th, 2007
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Wow, thank you everyone for your responses. Ladylee, I've heard there is a lot of heartbreak, and it's almost like you are hand tied by the system, too. Even though it seems really frustrating and emotionally draining, I think I'll try.
I'm working on my master's in social work and a theme in foster care is the kind of treatment you recieved, azure. I know I would not do that. I would like to think I could make a difference to at least one child.

I'm also reading this book "A piece of cake" about this girl just brutalized by the foster care system. It is inspiring to me to get up and go grab every kid I see and hug the heck out of them.

This is certainly something my boyfriend and I have seriously considered, and next year I'll finish school, and we plan on buying a bigger house, so it may not be so far away. I highly doubt we'll have biological children so this may be the right thing for us.

Thanks again!
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replied June 26th, 2007
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birch, i know i don't know you real well, but lately i've been seeing a lot of great posts by you and the good things you've done and i think you seem to be a really great person lol it's awesome that there are people out there that care about someone other than themselves so much.
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replied June 26th, 2007
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Birch!! I am so happy you are strongly considering it. Please let us know when you start the process. There really needs to be some good foster homes out there and it sounds like you would be great!!!
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replied June 26th, 2007
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i would love to do something like that. not for the montly paychecks they send you either (i think they do that?) but that'd be awesome to give a child/teenager a good home when you know they wouldn't have it otherwise.
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replied June 27th, 2007
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HcoBrunette06 wrote:
birch, i know i don't know you real well, but lately i've been seeing a lot of great posts by you and the good things you've done and i think you seem to be a really great person lol it's awesome that there are people out there that care about someone other than themselves so much.


Aw, thanks. That's very sweet of you! We take in strays, it seems fitting. (I'm not comparing kids to animals, but strays to strays. Did I ever tell you how many animals we have?)

I really think I've been coming off like a giant sasqwatch lately. I have no patience anymore.

I really appreciate your post! Thanks!!!

Ladylee, I'll let you know. Once I get my schedule for next year straightend up I think I'm going to volunteer for this organization that helps kids get through the foster court system. "Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASAs) are the lifeblood of ProKids. After completing training, each CASA volunteer is assigned to a child. The CASA establishes a relationship with the child, investigates and watches over the child, and challenges the system to provide what is in the best interests of the child. CASAs make recommendations about services, living arrangements, and ultimately, who should raise the child. The CASA makes these recommendations to a lot of people, but most specifically, to the Hamilton County Juvenile Dependency Court. "

I think that will be a good foray into it, and that's about all I can do right now between grad school, my internship, and oh yeah, my job. Smile
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replied June 27th, 2007
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well good luck! & you're welcome!

and i don't think you've been a "sasqwatch" however you spell that word Laughing how many animals do you have?
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replied June 27th, 2007
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HcoBrunette06 wrote:
well good luck! & you're welcome!

and i don't think you've been a "sasqwatch" however you spell that word Laughing how many animals do you have?


I've been saying "sas-sqwatch" alot b/c on .S.N.L Trump made terrible fun of Rosie o'donnell calling her that. It cracked me up. (I don't have negative feelings towards her, I just thought it was funny).

We have eight dogs and eleven cats. *sheepish grin* They are all strays/rescues/had some trouble in their life.
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replied June 27th, 2007
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lol wow that is a lot, but that's great!

i want a kitty farm Laughing i love kittens. except i hope they don't all decide to have sex, because i couldn't handle that noise all the time haha
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replied June 27th, 2007
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I have two .aunts that are foster parents and had been for well over 20 years each ....the loved it and grew attached too each one of those kids my one .Aunt has pictures on her wall of every single child thats has come into her home even if it was for only a day...both .aunts did end up adopting a child one a boy and one a girl ...unfortunately neither foster at this time due too retirement but they never ever had any regrets and would never had wished that they never fostered these kids
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replied June 27th, 2007
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HcoBrunette06 wrote:
lol wow that is a lot, but that's great!

i want a kitty farm Laughing i love kittens. except i hope they don't all decide to have sex, because i couldn't handle that noise all the time haha
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing That's funny! Cat sex is pretty darn loud.
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replied June 27th, 2007
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Birch wrote:
HcoBrunette06 wrote:
well good luck! & you're welcome!

and i don't think you've been a "sasqwatch" however you spell that word Laughing how many animals do you have?


I've been saying "sas-sqwatch" alot b/c on .S.N.L Trump made terrible fun of Rosie o'donnell calling her that. It cracked me up. (I don't have negative feelings towards her, I just thought it was funny).

We have eight dogs and eleven cats. *sheepish grin* They are all strays/rescues/had some trouble in their life.


Oh my!! Oh my!! Do you have a lot of dog do in your back yard?? Do they all get along?? You are an amazing person to do that!! We have two rescue dogs and they are wonderful. They drive us crazy sometimes but they are so very loyal.

When we had our foster child, he really clicked with one dog who was very fearful of most people due to her previous abuse. He wanted to pet her all the time. Most of these children can completely relate to those animals who have had it difficult in life. I believe it's great therapy for them.
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replied June 27th, 2007
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ladylee70 wrote:
Birch wrote:
HcoBrunette06 wrote:
well good luck! & you're welcome!

and i don't think you've been a "sasqwatch" however you spell that word Laughing how many animals do you have?


I've been saying "sas-sqwatch" alot b/c on .S.N.L Trump made terrible fun of Rosie o'donnell calling her that. It cracked me up. (I don't have negative feelings towards her, I just thought it was funny).

We have eight dogs and eleven cats. *sheepish grin* They are all strays/rescues/had some trouble in their life.


Oh my!! Oh my!! Do you have a lot of dog do in your back yard?? Do they all get along?? You are an amazing person to do that!! We have two rescue dogs and they are wonderful. They drive us crazy sometimes but they are so very loyal.

When we had our foster child, he really clicked with one dog who was very fearful of most people due to her previous abuse. He wanted to pet her all the time. Most of these children can completely relate to those animals who have had it difficult in life. I believe it's great therapy for them.


Heh, I know it sounds like a lot, but to us it's not at all. I always knew I'd be a crazy cat lady, I just didn't think it would happen until I hit 60.

We clean up the yard every other day so it's not bad. And our plants grow really, really well. Heh. We have a plum tree bursting with fruit!

My only reservation about taking in foster kids is that we have so many animals. I have very little tolerance for mistreatment of animals, so I would initally worry about how they are being cared for. I would hope that, as you've posted, there would be some kind of empathy. And alot of kids love our house; our dogs are so friendly they will lick them to death. It's like a party. Except when I have to clean around shedding time. Then I want to send them all to a circus.
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replied June 28th, 2007
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I think the biggest concern I would have is possible undx reactive attachment disorder. Some of these children will purposely hurt animals and not seem to have any emotion attached to it. .R.A.D. is pretty serious. As a foster parent, you often don't know what kind of child you will receive. Although general attachment disorders (somewhere on the spectrum) can be common. Actual .R.A.D. is not that common.

I still think animals are a good thing!

Laughing Your plants grow well, huh? That's pretty funny.

Just from your posts and now with the knowledge you can take in so many animals and it doesn't feel like a lot to you, you are going to do quite well in foster care. You don't seem like a high stressed, high anxiety individual. I know I could only have probably one or two foster children at the most given my high stressed personality.
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replied June 28th, 2007
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Birch wrote:

We have eight dogs and eleven cats. *sheepish grin* They are all strays/rescues/had some trouble in their life.


Shocked

I have news on this subject! lol

Today my mum decided for definate, shes going to become a foster parent. Shes been thinking about it for ages, but she wasnt sure whether to do that or go for this job. She got turned down for the job a day after the interview. We all thought it didnt suit her anyway, but at least she tried.
So shes going to do fostering instead. I dont know if I agree with her doing it completely because its going to be really tough for her.

Shes decided to foster mentally disabled children. (someone in the family is like that, so shes had many years experience) Its been so hard though, Im shocked she wants to do this.
Confused
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