Medical Questions > Parenting > Parenting Debate Forum

the Best Way to Stop a Kid From Screaming Is To.... (Page 1)

User Profile
you can fill in the blank.
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Ignore it. If a kid learns that they are not going to get their way from screaming and acting like a tyrant, they won't do it. If every time they start to act out they get you to interact with them, or get what they want you have just set the precedent, and they will do it every time.

If when they start yelling you get down on their level and say, "when you calm down, we will talk about this, but not until", and walk away. They will get the message.

When someone is screaming their reasoning skills are at their lowest. It will be like talking to a wall. Wait until they are calm.

Let them win sometimes. If they want something, that you don't really want them to have, compromise. We learn to negotiate from getting what we want in a positive way.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think that the answer to this depends a lot on the age of the child.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
cindy, what if you're out in public at a store or a restaurant?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
My daughter did this a couple of times.
I said very calmly, if you don't stop we are leaving. She continued, and .I left my full grocery cart and we left. It took 2 or 3 times and she got the idea. We left, which meant she didn't get her "prize" for being good.

When she got a bit older, .I did a lot of pre-teaching before we would go in. I would say something like, "if you are good than you will be able to get a book or whatever it was she wanted, but if you don't follow the rules you will get nothing, and we will leave the store". I usually combined grocery shopping with a trip to Mc.Donalds for a .Happy .Meal and a trip to the play place or we would go on a picnic, so being good was a big deal. I was a single parent, with no money so going to Mc.Uckies was a great treat for her.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with cindy,but following bridgets question,if they did it in public i'd have to bring them outside,then let them scream until they realized it got them no where.if they kept on when we got home they would get punished and taught what the appropriate way is to act in public (depending on age of course)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Mommy35 wrote:
My daughter did this a couple of times.
I said very calmly, if you don't stop we are leaving. She continued, and .I left my full grocery cart and we left. It took 2 or 3 times and she got the idea. We left, which meant she didn't get her "prize" for being good.
.


That is exactly what my parents did with me and my brother. I think that it is quite effective and they know you mean business. It was a big deal when I was younger to be able to go to the toy aisle or get a piece of candy when we went grocery shopping. But man when my brother and I would act up or whine and cry about anything...it was out the door with no toy or candy. That was very dramatic at 5 years old.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
*star* wrote:
Mommy35 wrote:
My daughter did this a couple of times.
I said very calmly, if you don't stop we are leaving. She continued, and .I left my full grocery cart and we left. It took 2 or 3 times and she got the idea. We left, which meant she didn't get her "prize" for being good.
.


That is exactly what my parents did with me and my brother. I think that it is quite effective and they know you mean business. It was a big deal when I was younger to be able to go to the toy aisle or get a piece of candy when we went grocery shopping. But man when my brother and I would act up or whine and cry about anything...it was out the door with no toy or candy. That was very dramatic at 5 years old.
thats a very good idea,I never thought about that.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
I agree that the best way to deal with screaming is to ignore it and then they'll get over it and learn that screaming and crying isn't going to get their way. However when my son acts up in a store i tell him that if he is going to act that way he will get nothing and then if he is still screaming after i tell him that, which usually he isn't because he really wants to get something, but if he still is screaming i tell him scream all u want now but your not getting anything and everyone is looking at you screaming saying how bad your being and then he will calm down because he is embarassed.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:
i tell him scream all u want now but your not getting anything and everyone is looking at you screaming saying how bad your being and then he will calm down because he is embarassed.


i couldn't do that because i know they're not looking at the child, they're looking at the parent and wondering why they're not taking their child out.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
IHeartMyBostonTerrier wrote:
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:
i tell him scream all u want now but your not getting anything and everyone is looking at you screaming saying how bad your being and then he will calm down because he is embarassed.


i couldn't do that because i know they're not looking at the child, they're looking at the parent and wondering why they're not taking their child out.


I agree, I think that people wouldn't be looking at the child they would be like "good lord please take that screaming baby out of here" If you have to take them into the bathroom or outside to try and calm them down, that would be better than letting them scream their head off while the whole store is looking at you, not the child. I personally would be embarassed.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
i watched on super nanny where the child was throwing a huge fit and joe made the mom put her daughter in the corner back and forth for three hours, she said that if she just kept doing it her daughter would know that mom is the boss and she's going to stand in that corner until she stops misbehaving and that mom wasn't going to back down.

i think that sounds like a good idea but three hours?!?! gz!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
~*~Melissa~*~ wrote:
*star* wrote:
Mommy35 wrote:
My daughter did this a couple of times.
I said very calmly, if you don't stop we are leaving. She continued, and .I left my full grocery cart and we left. It took 2 or 3 times and she got the idea. We left, which meant she didn't get her "prize" for being good.
.


That is exactly what my parents did with me and my brother. I think that it is quite effective and they know you mean business. It was a big deal when I was younger to be able to go to the toy aisle or get a piece of candy when we went grocery shopping. But man when my brother and I would act up or whine and cry about anything...it was out the door with no toy or candy. That was very dramatic at 5 years old.
thats a very good idea,I never thought about that.

When my kid cries in public nobody looks at us at all but i never said they were looking at the kid what i said was that i tell him that because i know he will stop screaming... and i think that by taking your kid out of the store it is showing them that they can just do that whenever they want to go home because everytime they make a scene they are going to leave and it shows him that your life stops because they are crying
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:

When my kid cries in public nobody looks at us at all


believe me, they're looking.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:
~*~Melissa~*~ wrote:
*star* wrote:
Mommy35 wrote:
My daughter did this a couple of times.
I said very calmly, if you don't stop we are leaving. She continued, and .I left my full grocery cart and we left. It took 2 or 3 times and she got the idea. We left, which meant she didn't get her "prize" for being good.
.


That is exactly what my parents did with me and my brother. I think that it is quite effective and they know you mean business. It was a big deal when I was younger to be able to go to the toy aisle or get a piece of candy when we went grocery shopping. But man when my brother and I would act up or whine and cry about anything...it was out the door with no toy or candy. That was very dramatic at 5 years old.
thats a very good idea,I never thought about that.

When my kid cries in public nobody looks at us at all but i never said they were looking at the kid what i said was that i tell him that because i know he will stop screaming... and i think that by taking your kid out of the store it is showing them that they can just do that whenever they want to go home because everytime they make a scene they are going to leave and it shows him that your life stops because they are crying


i can see where you're coming from with that, but the fact is... you're a parent now and your world does stop for them. you could take them home and leave them with dad or whoever you can find, and go back and go grocery shopping (as inconvienent as that sounds) because as everyone says, you're a parent now and you don't come first anymore.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:

When my kid cries in public nobody looks at us at all but i never said they were looking at the kid what i said was that i tell him that because i know he will stop screaming... and i think that by taking your kid out of the store it is showing them that they can just do that whenever they want to go home because everytime they make a scene they are going to leave and it shows him that your life stops because they are crying
no,it shows them that they aren't going to get what they want.WHat kid would rahter go home that pick out a new toy?none that I know.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:
and i think that by taking your kid out of the store it is showing them that they can just do that whenever they want to go home because everytime they make a scene they are going to leave and it shows him that your life stops because they are crying


I don't think that is what you are teaching them. That to me is showing them that they are not going to get rewarded for good behavior.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
*star* wrote:
sWeEtPeEwEe wrote:
and i think that by taking your kid out of the store it is showing them that they can just do that whenever they want to go home because everytime they make a scene they are going to leave and it shows him that your life stops because they are crying


I don't think that is what you are teaching them. That to me is showing them that they are not going to get rewarded for good behavior.

I know these kids that were terrible in stores all the time so they always got taken out of the store so eventually they stopped bringing them to stores and restaurants and then everytime they would go somewhere they were terrible they would act up and run around everywhere because they didn't know how to act in a store or restaurant because they were so used to be taken out of the stores that they never learned how you were supposed to act.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
i agree you shouldnt let them determine your day. My sister will ask my four year old niece if shes okay with going to the mall and wont go if she is in a bad mood. I think we need to bring our children into these situations so that they can learn acceptable behavior from observing other people. I go back to my theory on a child needs to have consequences for their behavior. if they scream in a store then i would remove them from the situation, maybe go to the car or bathroom or whatever and tell them that we are not going home and your not going to get a toy, candy or whatever. if you continue this behavior then such and such will happen to you.
i realize it would take a lot of time and normally you just want to get your grocery shopping done or what not but i refuse to let a child decide what we are doing for the day if something needs to be done. i feel that i am the parent and we will do what i decided and if it takes me three hours then so be it. thats not to say that if i see my daughter is in a awful mood before we leave and know she needs a nap that i wont re arrange what i need im just saying that if things need to be done i wont let her determine when it happens.. i dont know if im explaining myself well enough? hopefully you get what im trying to say
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
vanessalouanne wrote:
i agree you shouldnt let them determine your day. My sister will ask my four year old niece if shes okay with going to the mall and wont go if she is in a bad mood. I think we need to bring our children into these situations so that they can learn acceptable behavior from observing other people. I go back to my theory on a child needs to have consequences for their behavior. if they scream in a store then i would remove them from the situation, maybe go to the car or bathroom or whatever and tell them that we are not going home and your not going to get a toy, candy or whatever. if you continue this behavior then such and such will happen to you.
i realize it would take a lot of time and normally you just want to get your grocery shopping done or what not but i refuse to let a child decide what we are doing for the day if something needs to be done. i feel that i am the parent and we will do what i decided and if it takes me three hours then so be it. thats not to say that if i see my daughter is in a awful mood before we leave and know she needs a nap that i wont re arrange what i need im just saying that if things need to be done i wont let her determine when it happens.. i dont know if im explaining myself well enough? hopefully you get what im trying to say

I totally see what you are saying and thats the same way that i feel.. i don't think that you should just leave the store and not come back with the child because i don't think that it is teaching the child to behave the right way in stores.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
12
Quick Reply
Must Read
Minor and more serious burns account for over 2 million doctor visits each year. But what is a burn? And what happens to the skin when it gets burned?...
Why are children at risk of burns? And what agents can cause the skin to burn? More on causes of skin burns and risk factors you can avoid here....
When should you seek medical help for a skin burn? We review common symptoms of burned skin as well as symptoms of airway burns here....