Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

Bipolar Girlfriend Is Stressing Me Out ...

Whats up...I"m new and I know there is an abundance of relationship issues with BP in here but I need help...

Me and my gf have been together on and off for 3 years...she left with no say...it wasnt until months later I found out she was Bipolar...her mother was murdered when she was 3 years old and she doesnt really know who her father is ( I know, its not gonna be easy)...I love her...sometimes she's just very inconsiderate, love to argue and puts me down...I am the nicest guy you'll ever meet (according to my GF), and she knows how bad of a person she is to me yet cant help it...I've read books on how to love someone Bipolar and everything...we recently moved in together and things arent getting better...she's Bisexual which only makes me jealous due to the fact that I barely get any affection or sex from her...she posted an ad on craigslist.com lookin for women to have casual sex with...ah man that hurt me alot...I felt ugly, unappreciated and basically betrayed...NOW! I dont know if I should hold on until she gets the proper treatment(meds and DR.) or just cut her loose now...I cant tell if she hurts me to be mean or because she's bipolar anymore..HELP ME! if you need more info just let me know...I hope to get responses from bipolar women!!! thank you in advance
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replied July 11th, 2007
I just broke up with my bipolar boyfriend and his been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life because I love him more than anything and I know he can get better. He is on meds, but they aren't quite balanced yet (it's been 2 years and they still aren't) and he has just basically given up altogether on life. But while some of his actions were hurtful, it doesn't sound half as bad as what you are dealing with. Honestly, even though it's hard, I think you need to end it until she gets help and really makes an effort. It's so hard to cope with someone who is bipolar but it is impossible when they don't want to get better and don't try. Good luck.
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replied July 11th, 2007
Yea its crazy..she just lost her job and about to lose the apartment because she cant pay and I left her because she slapped me for no reason...its become a bit too much for me and it wasnt getting any better especially now that she has no health coverage...I feel really bad for the girl but I cant continue to bail her out financially and take a mental beating all the time like that...enough is enough...it was the hardest thing I ever had to do...she meant the world to me...but I had no choice
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replied July 12th, 2007
Yeah that sounds so much like what our relationship was like, although he was NEVER mean and aggressive, he just would get VERY depressed. But he still owes me money that I am sure I will never see. It just gets to be too much. At first I didn't mind helping him out, but I became a crutch and one day I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had put my insterests first. I was so wrapped up in him and helping him that I lost touch with myself, not good. Still is hard to end it though, especially because I know he has the capacity to get better. Just wonder if he will ever get the motivation to take advantage of the help he has at his disposal and GET better. How are you dealing with the break up?
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replied July 18th, 2007
i'm dealing with it to the best of my ability by working out, goin to work, reading, just taking it easy and working on my own things in life...she moved to Vegas with her uncle to get away from things and swears to come back for me because she wants to marry me and etc...its weird...i dont know what to do anymore...just scared of things going right back to square one...she says she'll use her time there to reflect, get some type of help and just take it easy for a while...but i'm fine...its for the best! how are you doing?
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replied July 19th, 2007
I think it's probably best that you broke it off with her. Despite her disability, you deserve to be treated with respect. Once you allow someone to treat you poorly they use it as an open invitation to do it over and over again. I'm bipolar and I know that in past relationships that I have been a horrible to people. I cheated, lied, hit, emotionally abused people, but you know what... I still new it was wrong. It's true that people who are bipolar often have a hard time controlling their emotions, become irratable, become enraged, promiscuious etc, but that in no way makes it acceptable. Sometimes you need to take a stand for yourself, so you can be happy, and when you do, you hope that the other person wakes up and realizes that his/her behavior is unacceptable no matter what their disability is. Sometimes it takes maturity to change behaviors, sometimes it takes medication. In my case it was both. I say separate for awhile, find out what it is you will or will not tolerate in a relationship and then if you want to get back together later, set the guidelines and see if she can stick to them, if she can't, call it quits for good.
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replied July 20th, 2007
I can relate to you, I feel the pain. I love my lady, baby, women. She has inherently had insecurites, I made them better(short term). I'm a "fixer" kind a guy. I will never turn by back on her but I've had to painfully "let her go". In seven years I've gone from financially secure to jeopordizing my childrens future. She is very charming and loving and VERY sexual. Its hard to resist! If you still have any self esteem, RUN! and keep a very casual contact. Please remember you are your own most important asset.
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replied January 18th, 2009
I don't want to me like this anymore for my boyfriend. D: I fear I am abusive even though he says I'm not and I'm also bisexual and often feel like posting on craigslist for women.. ha even though I'm in this amazing relationship, I don't lie to him but my moods are uncontrollable and I'm very selfish. :[[
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replied December 15th, 2009
RUN!!!
DUDE!!!, SHE MAY BE BiPOLAR, BUT YOUR BEING MENTALLY MANIPULATED. THIS IS A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION AND A GIRL LIKE THIS WILL COST YOU YOUR HAPPINESS, HEALTH, FRIENDS, FAMILY, YOR JOB IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ASAP!!! SHE MAYBE ALSO HAVE schizophrenic depression or schizophrenic affected disorder from what you are telling me.
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replied January 12th, 2010
Im dealing with alot of same issues !!! Help!
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replied January 12th, 2010
i am BP. I'm a female 23 years old. I've been on meds for years and slowly i have gotten better with the mood swings, abuse ect. My man is very patient with me, and knows how to handle me in certain situations. But depending on the age, and how long a BP has been on meds, it can be a very rocky road. Your partner has to be aware of the problems they are causing, and be willing to change, once they make that commitment to you, then it's a very patient waiting game. Learning how to talk to them when they are in one mood, and then a completely different way when they are in another mood. It's really is hard, and it takes alot of dedication from both parties, and realizing that even though something works one day, doesn't mean it works the next. And believe me, it's just as frustrating for us as it is you. I hope this some what helped.
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replied August 14th, 2010
I think you should dump her cold. If your not even enjoying the goodside why bother.
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