Well still no af...I am so impatient right now. I want this month to be over so i can get myself to the dr. And in other news my dh is back on the "its you, and if you cant have babies than o well at least i have some" Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad That hurt my feelings so bad and i cant really talk to my sis because I dont want to worry her. He thinks he is getting old so thats why he is like that..or so he says! He is 29 (30 in Nov) and I am turning 23 next month. I dont think he is old at all.

I cant understand why this is happening to me. Its so hard to say that i am giving up and then not give up (GRRR). I wish i could be able to loose that hope i have cause thats the one that is still there and it doesn't want to die. Yesterday I over heard my dh talking to his sis on the phone and he was talking about his girls and how they have grown so much among other things....And I am guessing she asked when are "we" having a baby and he said that he didnt know that i was provably sterile ( Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

Why dont men understand?? Thats the question i would like have an answer to! This website is the only one that makes me feel like some one is listening. I am feeling like "numb" inside, i dont know how to else explain it. Its like everything inside just gathered up and is just there and i dont feel anything. I know that i shouldnt give up just yet because it has not been a year yet but i guess is the fact that he has kids and i dont.
I asked him that if i really could not have kids that if he would consider adoption...and u know what he answered?? He said and i quote, "hell no, are u crazy? I am not going to take care of kids that are not mine" I was devastated to hear that answer, if i cant have kids then i think our marriage is over because the decision to get separated will mine. Why keep him with me if I can give him the chance to be with some one that can give him more kids if it could not be me Crying or Very sad . I know I am provably over reacting but I am to the point where thats provably going to happen. But i am trying not to rush into thinking that since i am really not sure whats going on with my body.

Sorry for making this post so long but i needed to get some stuff out and this is the only place where i can do that..Thanx!!!

Gabby
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replied May 21st, 2007
Stop being so hard on yourself!! Unless you have been to a doctor and he told you something was up with you (which it sounds likeyou haven't) then there is no reason to think there is.
Me and my hubby have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 yrs, and we went to all the drs appt, went on clumid, did 3 iui's, and still nothing. Now because of money and it was just being to damn stressfull for me we are taking a break from meds and dr's and just having fun again.
Have you tried talking to your hubby about how is actions and words make you feel.
I'm not trying to get to personal or anything so if this comes out wrong i sincerly apologize, but does he really want to have another baby? I'm sorry if that came out wrong but it just sounds like in your posts that it is just you trying and worrying, and getting stressed about ttc, are you sure he is there with you even if he is acting like a moron?
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replied May 21st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
How insensitive. I would have been pissed!!

It's not over yet. When was the last time you tested? Have you made a dr appt yet?

Keep your head up sweetie. Were here for you!

~Big hug~
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replied May 21st, 2007
Experienced User
In my opinion, it is him that needs to work on himself, not you. Perhaps he is the reason for you not conceiving yet. We know that stress can cause us not to ovulate. What bigger stress is there than an unsupportive husband, who says mean things. I don't want to put him down, I know you love him, but good grief. No one deserves to be treated that way. The fact that he has kids should make him a more compassionate, caring person. He should want to help you thru this, not make it worse for you. Obviously your love for children and want to be a mother and carry a baby is so strong. Why would he want to play with your emotions like that? Dont consider yourself less of a women because you havent conceived YET. You are young and beautiful and it will happen, dont count yourself out.

PS, not to be rude, but if my husband EVER discussed my infertility with anyone, and made a joke of it, he would have his own fertility issues to deal with in the form of a high heel to his ba**s.
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replied May 21st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
MrsLtd wrote:
PS, not to be rude, but if my husband EVER discussed my infertility with anyone, and made a joke of it, he would have his own fertility issues to deal with in the form of a high heel to his ba**s.


I second that!!!
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replied May 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I can't believe he talks to you that way. That is so disrespectful! If my husband ever spoke that way to me... Evil or Very Mad

.I think you should get your relationship with your husband squared away before you start ttc again. He needs to understand how to speak to you, how to treat you, what is acceptable behavior and what is not, etc. From the sounds of it, if you did get pregnant he would just make fun of your belly. He doesn't sound very nice to me at all, and I would tell him that .i'm not sure I want him as the father of my children with that nasty attitude of his. Maybe he'll start to understand that his words carry weight and that he's hurting you.

Men can be clueless, but there's no excuse for being downright mean.
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replied May 21st, 2007
AyaMiyaki wrote:
I can't believe he talks to you that way. That is so disrespectful! If my husband ever spoke that way to me... Evil or Very Mad

.I think you should get your relationship with your husband squared away before you start ttc again. He needs to understand how to speak to you, how to treat you, what is acceptable behavior and what is not, etc. From the sounds of it, if you did get pregnant he would just make fun of your belly. He doesn't sound very nice to me at all, and I would tell him that .i'm not sure I want him as the father of my children with that nasty attitude of his. Maybe he'll start to understand that his words carry weight and that he's hurting you.

Men can be clueless, but there's no excuse for being downright mean.


I agree 100%. We dont mean this as attaking you sweetie, it's him we r attaking. We just want to make sure you are doing the best thing for you.

Maybe you should just take a couple of minutes and figure out if he is what you want for the father of your child. Do you want your son growing up and learning that's how to treat your wife? That's just somthing you have to figure out for yourself, but we are all here for you honey whenever you need to talk.

~~Big hugs~~
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replied May 21st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with the other girls sweetie, and just know that we are .N.O.T attacking you. I would not be able to be with someone who said such mean things to me.

So he has other children, do they stay with you, or do they stay with their mother? How much time is your hubby around his children? And again I have to ask, does he really want to have another baby? Because it doesn't sound like he wants to be bothered with the attempts of trying to conceive one. And he certainly doesn't understand where you are coming from.

You really need to have a strong talk with him and stand your ground to let him know how his words hurt you. Don't let him get away with that crap, you deserve way better than to be treated like that. My dh would be out the door if he ever treated me and said those things to me. That just doesn't sound like something you would say to someone you love with all your heart.

I would have to say that my best advise would be to just take a break and don't think about ttc so much because it sounds like you are always stressed about it. Take care of you and you only right now.

***BIG BIG HUGS***
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replied May 21st, 2007
Experienced User
Wow
Wantingajr,
I just read all this and I double agree with all the girls on here. First of all it's crazy for you to think there is anything wrong with you. Only a doctor can diagnose that. Second, his behavior is absolutly unacceptable. You should not put up with that type of talk. This is the time he should be more supportive and loving/understanding about all this. you should teach him a lesson and I don't mean anything crazy but maybe counseling would be helpful. I am sorry honey this is all too much. Please take a little break and some time to figure things out first. We are all here to support you. hugs
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replied May 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
Re: Wow
negar wrote:
Wantingajr,
I just read all this and I double agree with all the girls on here. First of all it's crazy for you to think there is anything wrong with you. Only a doctor can diagnose that. Second, his behavior is absolutly unacceptable. You should not put up with that type of talk. This is the time he should be more supportive and loving/understanding about all this. you should teach him a lesson and I don't mean anything crazy but maybe counseling would be helpful. I am sorry honey this is all too much. Please take a little break and some time to figure things out first. We are all here to support you. hugs


I do agree.
Sweetie, being this stressed you wont be in a shape (physically or mentally) to have a baby. You need to take break & take good care of yourself first.
Have a good talk with dh. We ladies do need all the support we can get while we are ttcing specially from our DHs.
I do really feel very bad from the way your DH is treating you.

We are all here for you sweetie Hugs hugs.
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replied May 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
Thank you all so much for the support. I really appreciate it. Like some of you have wrote i'm going to take a break on ttcing because i am defenetly to stressed and he obviously doesnt undestand. He told me that the reason he thought i would conceive quick was because his ex got prego maybe the 3rd or 4th time they were together. His girls do not live with us and we barely get to see the oldest one (alsmost 7) and the other one lives with her grandfather (almost 6) they were both born on Nov. Just a yr apart...His ex has 7 kids all together but only 2 are my dhs. Some times i feel jelous but i think that if god is doing this then is for a reason. Its just not meant to be at this time. I am going to take some time off this whole thing and focus on other things like maybe going back to school and i am hoping to open my own buisness. I recently became a notary public for the state of texas so a buisness doing something like that would defenetly work here. Maybe this is why i have not conceived. My dh is been an as**h*** so i am just going to let him know that are going back to normal and to have fun. I know that i will not get the idea completely out of my head but at least i am going to have things to focus on and even more cause i am trying to loose some weight...So this will be a very mind occupying thing. Thanx again girls for been here even though we dont know eachother. And dont worry about my dh he is going to get a piece of my mind the next time he decides to joke about this...
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replied May 22nd, 2007
I think that is the best thing for you right now. I am also going back to school to help get my mind off of it (even though it is never to far away). Just keep yourself busy with other things and eventually you will start to relax about it. Just remember you will always have the urge, but at least you can teach your body to respond better. For me personally even though we aren't actually activly trying when af come to visit i still feel like balling like a baby, but I take a deep breath and remember everything else I have going on and think that this must be for some reason. So just remeber to have fun with you dh again.

~~big hugs~~
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