Medical Questions > Mental Health > Schizophrenia Forum

Debilitating Fears. Please Give Your Opinion.

I do not know if I have schizophrenia or not, but it runs in my family. My uncle is schizophrenic. I am seeing a counselor and she has raised that question in my mind. I don't like to "self diagnose" which is why I'm telling you that I don't know if I am or not. I'm wondering what your opinion is, though.

I have debilitating fears. I am a very anxious person and I think that most people are out to get me in some way or another. For example, recently I convinced myself that my sister had contacted a good friend of mine and told that good friend (whom she doesn't even know) to stop contacting me. I have no idea why I thought she would do this. I actually asked her about this. After she assured me that she hadn't, I convinced myself that another friend did it instead. I convinced myself that this friend (whom lives in India...he used to live in the States but we contact each other through e-mail and AIM now) contacted this person and told him a variety of embarrassing things. I actually asked my friend in India if he did this and of course he said no.

Here is another example. I'm a recovering alcoholic. I haven't been sober that long, but I'm trying. The last time I got drunk, I didn't get completely obliterated or anything, but I was drunk. I thought I remembered everything I did. The next day, I woke up with this huge fear that *maybe* I had had a blackout. This thought agonized me because I convinced myself that I had sent e-mails to people without realizing it. I checked my sent folder in my e-mail accounts and nothing was there, but I then convinced myself that maybe I went onto my school account e-mail and sent some out, because that doesn't save copies. This fear turned into me convincing myself that I sent out threatening e-mails to a person whom I've had conflict with and maybe their significant other. I'm not even confident if I had a blackout that night, because I thought I remembered everything, but I seriously now have convinced myself that I sent out death threats to people. I'm a very passive person, so it's completely out of character for me to do something like that, but I justify it by saying, "Maybe I did because I was really drunk". Then, when I logically tell myself, "If I had done that, wouldn't these people have responded?" I convinced myself that maybe the police told them not to contact me. I got so scared about the situation that I actually sent my computer to a computer forensics place to test activity done on it during that date, which will now cost me an arm and a leg. I still have no idea if I sent anything to anyone that evening, but it's causing me the worst kind of anxiety I've ever felt. I seriously worry that these people contacted the police and maybe the police are escorting these people around, for fear of me. I would just contact these people and ask if I sent anything to them on this night, but if I did send something threatening, I'm afraid that this will just be another nail in the coffin and that this e-mail will be sent to the police.

Also, one of my greatest fears in life is that I will be framed for a crime I didn't commit. Sometimes I have nightmares about it. I had one last night where someone I knew committed a crime and I was accidently at the scene. My fingerprint, therefore ended up on an item in the room of the crime, so I had to testify in court. It really disturbs me. Jails scare the crap out of me. I read a lot of true crime and scare myself to bits.

I have no idea why I have these fears, because I'm a really harmless person. I am just very scared of these things.
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replied May 5th, 2007
Community Volunteer
They're obsessions, not schizophrenia, with perhaps a bit of paranoia, but I would say more or less only obsessions.
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replied May 5th, 2007
Hi
You must know the reason for thinking this way. Maybe you don't remember for some reason (is there such thing as memory repression?)...

Ideas to me, are like stuff that is built-there are tools and material which you use, logically to built what is there...Even if it is comparable to a Science fiction book.

*The only aid I can help you with is: Try to reason with yourself as to why; or better yet, go to a psychologist.

What do you think Stan? (Stan did we pm with each other about caffeine induced problems(few months ago?-I was 'Absentminded..')
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replied May 6th, 2007
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I think they're obsessions. Obsessions are categorized as any unwanted thought that causes the individual anxiety or strife when they arise and they can't be pushed away. Think of a song you can't get out of your head and then imagine they're thoughts about having a serious illness, killing someone, wrecking your car, stomping on your pet cat and so forth. They can take any number of ridiculous forms, even fear that one has schizophrenia and starts to interpret every little symptom as evidence of it.
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