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I've suffered from major depressive disorder for many years. I've had recurrent episodes. I never seeked treatment till a year ago. I have attempted suicide 15 times in the past year in various way to get attention and to cry out for help, and sometimes to really end my way. By no means is this an advice or encouragement/idea for people who are reading this. Please don't hurt yourselves. Because it does get better! Please read on!

After many treatments with psychiatric meds. I've tried Cipralex, Elavil, Remeron, and finally Effexor works with me. I've been on it for a year now. It helps me a lot. I also have a psychiatrist and have a therapist and a supportive care team including my GP.

When you seek treatment, it is the first step to get help and get better.

Sure, I've had a hard time with all medications and self-harm behaviours. But I stopped. Sometimes, it's impulsiveness that causes me to self-harm. But I try to set it aside and not think about it at the very moment, because that would just make me want to harm myself even more.
I am Christian. I pray to god. I ask him for help and to take away my troubles. It doesn't always work of course. But this is just a coping style. By no means am I trying to bring religion into other people. But I do find that being preoccupied with something else that's positive in your mind tends to help or take away some thoughts of self harm. I think healthy beliefs and religions are helpful.

I still have thoughts of self-harm. Sometimes, I still do act. But I try my best to stop myself. I ask for help instead of harming myself. I walk into the nearest hospital. At least I know I'll be safe there. It's better than harming yourself and getting certified by a doctor to force hospitalization. I've had that done to me before, and it was not helpful at all.

I know how hard it is to deal with depression and thoughts of suicide. I also have other psychiatric illnesses present other than this and am in the process of dealing with all of them. I just want to help everyone deal with it. I'm not 100% better myself, but I'm constantly battling it. I want this to be a support and encouragement for people to choose life over death. Because life does get better even if it doesn't seem so at the moment. You have to live it to find out about the positive things that future has to offer. I wish all of you the best of luck.

"In the past and present, future yonder, lies the presence of dreams."
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