Medical Questions > Relationships > Single and Struggling Forum

I Hate Having An Inability to Make a Relationship Happen

Being 23 and never having been in a relationship is killing me!!! If you were in my position, you'd pine for somebody else's. I would rather die now than live a full life of loneliness. I would rather die now than live a full life of being somebody that can't get into relationships as easily as other people. Not only am I sick and tired of this sort of thing, I haven't got any answers for it. I am hardly bad looking. I am rather tall at 6-1 but sort of skinny. I don't look too bad and haven't got any skin problems. Some would find it baffling that i've struggled with girls so many years and haven't been in a relationship. But the truth is, even somebody who shares the same name as me (matt motter), has had it easier with a lot of things (he won two volleyball championships in hs). As a sports avid sports fan, I feel like frickin boston red sox pre-2003 and kansas's basketball team, which has had many good seasons but hasn't won an ncaa championship in 19 years.

Note: I am not suicidal, so please do not take any of the statements that i've made as suicidal statements. I am more than sick and tired of being the victim of failed relationship attempts (over 10 and counting).
Did you find this post helpful?
|

User Profile
replied April 24th, 2007
Experienced User
please, don't post the same exact thread multiple times.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 24th, 2007
Sorry about that.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 28th, 2007
Experienced User
You sound sexually frustrated more than anything else.

Simply have a good amount of sex, and then get into relationships.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 3rd, 2007
Hey MisterOz,

I understand your bad feelings. It's easy to say stop whining etcetera but it's hard actually stop worrying about it. And 'stop worrying' is so easy to say if you actually have someone who cares about you. I understand your bad feelings because I have them too. I can't help you by saying what to do or give you the answers to the question of why. Simply because there are no answers. I believe it's bad luck. But please don't let this keep you from trying. And with trying I mean taking the opportunity to meet other people, women. Then you might find the person who has mutual feelings for you. But this is something you can not force. That just has to happen.
Then again, it's so frustrated to see it's not happening. And for me more frustrating to see many many others who succeed. I'm sorry I can't help you but I wish you all the best and I wanted to let you know you're not alone.

All the best!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 5th, 2007
I got a comment for the one who says have sex before relationship, A lot of times especially at the age of 23, as I am 21 its harder to just find random sex especially if you're a virgin like I, or thats what I'd do for sure so basically what I'm saying is do you have any tips something I possibly haven't heard before?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied December 6th, 2007
Experienced User
Well you have yet to say how you approach the opposite sex. You need to stop worrying about how the rest of the world is and just work for yourself now. If you want a relationship then build up some confidence and start talking to girls. I didn't start my first relationship until a month before I turned 20. Yes it bothered me for a awhile, so I started trying. And at the start it didn't work and I got down some, but I realized the only one who can do anything about it was me. So I kept trying, and the more I tried the more I realized how being in a relationship wasn't really all that important to me, so I started to not worry about it. And once I stopped worrying about what I was "missing" and how I was perceived.. I met her. Because I stopped worrying about it I was more confident, I let my good qualities shine to the world.

Fast forward: Now I've been in a wonderful relationship for over a year and everything is good. I realized the only thing holding me back was me, but honestly I was glad I didn't find anyone, because well... I'm in an amazing relationship now and well anything different in my past could have changed what I have now and there is nothing I would do to let that happen.

Stop worrying about being with someone, get to know yourself first and be happy with who you are... the confidence will show (everyone wants a partner who is confident with themselves... it's attractive) and your good qualities will show. Just be happy with who you are and you will find yours where you least expect it.
|
Did you find this post helpful?