I was molested when I was younger, and ever since then I have resorted to cutting myself when I get mad. I did it when I was like 15-16..But I stopped. Now when I get really mad I just wanna cut myself and I know its not what I need to do, so why do I have this strong desire to? Everytime I get really angry, I just want to kill myself sometimes. I also have low self confidence. Whats goin on?
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replied February 16th, 2007
Community Volunteer
I've felt like that for yrs too and with cutting it's all a "mind over matter" thing. Oyu need to tell yourself that you have the willpower to not cut. It's hard sometimes. Trust me, but it will be better for you and anyone you care about in the long run.

I need to think about how I will explain my scars to my son when he is older and notices them. Sucks.
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replied February 16th, 2007
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Whats up renee. First I gota say you really gota pinpoint whats making your so angry. If its the past then you gota find a way to cope with it weather it be totaly confronting it or comming to a realization. My ex girlfriend was molested when she was young and I know how frustrating and confusing it can be. I belive you can get ahold if it and really break though the pain. It takes alot of work and paitence but its possible.

Cutting is bad, im a major offender and its a hard thing to deal with but you can get past it. As I got older I realized that its just something you shouldnt do....When my parrents see me with my shirt off or cutoff's(i dont wear shorts) they alwasy hurt and I can see. My mom especially. Over time you will realize that its not the way to feel better...Theres other healthy outlets.

Im looking forward to you posting again and hearing more possibly..Plz dont be shy there are so many great people here...This is the place to vent ^_^
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replied February 16th, 2007
Thank you. Yeah, I thought I was the only one with terrible scars on my arm. I'm so self concious about them. I just hate when people are like 'what happened to you arm?'. I don't know what to tell them. What do you guys say? Lol. I know i'm not just completely messed up in my head. I just hate it when I get really mad and that thought of wanting to cut myself comes through my head. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I do anyway. And also, when my boyfriend and I fight I just want to keep persisting. I don't know why, but he's broken up with me and i'm trying to fix it so we can be happy again. I keep persisting when I know he doesn't want it and I know it will only makes things worse but I can't help it!
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replied February 16th, 2007
Experienced User
Hi again reenee. By the way you can help it! I promise...It just takes practise. You really gota try your hardest to alwasy be aware of what your saying, whats going on and whats the cause of the situation. Thats the hardest part of being someone that does something out of impluse...You gota make sure you alwasy aware of whats going on.

For me and my scars...They are unavoidable. I have 6 extremely large leasons on my right upper arm and a very very bad one that runs parrel down my forearm...I lost alot of blood on that one. On my other arm I have numerous burns including ciggartes, stoves and other things. On my torso I have a very large scar across my stomach where I tried to cut open my stomach, I also have ones on my ribs and side. My scars are there....And when you see them you know something was going on.

Scars on arms arnt that bad, the worst are my hands. My hands are very torn up from cuts, puching wallks, scraping my knuckles on things, fighting and what not....And these I cant hide.

For work I have to alwasy wear long sleve shirts and have to make sure my wrists arnt show....Its very anoying on hot days and what not.

Like I said before the best thing to do is really be aware of why you are mad or upset and what you can do to resolve it...In a realistic way. If you get in a fight with your ex calm down and wait a day to talk about it. If your feeling angry sit down and just think "whats making me angry" is it something I can resolve myself? Or do I have to get help?

There are many paths and cutting is not the way....I speak from experience and being hospitalized many times for it. To this day I still have crazy urges to do so....But I just call up my mom, plan a dinner date, aftewards make sure im around positive people...Thast the key.

^_^
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replied February 17th, 2007
Thank you so much. I thought I was the only one..
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replied February 17th, 2007
Experienced User
Something to remember. Its hard being human because we think we deal with our pain on our own. There are so many other people in this world not only going through what we are but worse. We are very small and very insignificant, we are nothing compared to the wide view of life in genral. Dont stress to much seroiusly.....Your not alone and you have people that think about you every day. Stay up ^_^
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