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I Feel Like a Single Mom (Page 1)

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I had posted a previous question, "should I get pregnant it again?" I already realized they I need to wait, and the biggest reason why posed another question and I thought maybe you ladees could help...

My fiance, I love him death and he truly makes me happy... But he doesn't help me, except financially with our daughter. It never really bothered me, until I was trying to go to school, work, and take care of her. I am in over my head, but I choose not to be on any kind of assitance b/c the way those ppl treat you. I also don't want to live my life off of others, so quitting my job is def. Not an option. Neither is dropping out of school, I need my education to get a better job and more pay. So my only option, is figuring out a way to get him to help me, but to him sleeping & playing world of warcraft is more important than helping me raise **our** daughter! Any advice? Thanks!

P.S. Sorry if I had bad punctiation, or spelling .. I'm in a hurry.
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replied January 19th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Well it sounds like you need to sit down and have a talk with him.Tell him you didn't make the baby by yourslef so you shouldn't have to be taking care of her alone.Its not a free ride,i'm sure if you wanted to do it alone you would leave him
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replied January 19th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think that you need to consider dropping something....How could you even want another kid when you are in over your head? I see where you made the dicision not to have any more kids.....Right now, but come on, if you want to make your daughter's life a best as possible, not having another kid isn't the only decision you have to make here. Having her mommy there for her is the best thing for her. Work and school might not be possible right now. Maybe you need to stop going to school until you can work it all out....Or until he starts helping.
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replied January 19th, 2007
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Gen?
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replied January 19th, 2007
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tigresacanela24 wrote:
gen?


yeah it's me
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replied January 19th, 2007
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Yeah? Confused Tell me something about me that only the real gen would know...
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replied January 19th, 2007
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I'm in kinda the same situation you are except .I'm not going to school & not going back to work for another week or so because of car issues. My boyfriend, .Shane will not help out at all with our 3 month old daughter unless I go into !**@! mode & start flipping out on him. Kaylee can be sitting right next to him in her bouncer & he'll be on this computer playing his flight simulator game or any game for that matter & he will completely ignore her. In the meantime .I'll be out in the kitchen cooking or cleaning & have to come in just to see what's wrong with her ... Then when he hears me coming down the hall way, he will pretend that he's paying attention to her. It's the same if he's watching tv, he cares more about the tv than helping take care of .Kaylee. Then when we're around people like his parents or my mom for example, he will put on the biggest show just to make himself look good.
If you absolutely cannot quit your job, I would really consider stopping school even for just a while until you & your fiance can figure something out so you're not doing it all on your own. I don't know how old your daughter is but I know just from raising my daughter basically by myself that it is hard & it really takes a toll on you.
Sorry if I didn't really help much at all...
.Michelle
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replied January 19th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Im so confused about you.....One day you have intimacy issues ..The next day you want another child....Now you say you cant handle having one with your life....You need to figure out what your underlying issues are and it start with you ...Good luck
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replied January 19th, 2007
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tigresacanela24 wrote:
yeah? Confused Tell me something about me that only the real gen would know...


ck your pm
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replied January 19th, 2007
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Real gen!!!!! Yay!!!!! Thank god!!!! The imposter was a nasty piece of work!!!!
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replied January 19th, 2007
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Change your location gen!!
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replied January 19th, 2007
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I noticed....Im not too happy about it...I am a little disturbed. There wasnt' any need for that.
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replied January 19th, 2007
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There are 2 ways this can go after you talk to him. Things can get better or you have to make a decision whether you want to leave.

I had "the talk" with my son's father a gazzillion times and finally when our son was a yr old I left (with the baby). I live close to my ex's (which was my house originally Evil or Very Mad ) so he sees trey often enough but it's not at all what I imagined when being preggo. I find that I grew up tremendously and my ex has decided being "a kid" is what he wants to do. It sucks but if he doesn't change then you have a huge decision to make.

Gen, what the heck happned?? Did you find out who it was?
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replied January 19th, 2007
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Haha sounds like my jerk husband. The only help I got was him getting her to sleep last night but that was to benefit himself , he didnt wanna hear her screaming all night again so he did everything he could to calm her and put her to sleep.
Talking works if they actually listen. Like sit them down and a serious convo not yelling or anything of that sort. Sucks icant take my own advice I try and talk to my husband but he thinks he takes care of the kids since he is the one making the money. We agreed to have a 2nd child. Had I known what I was in for I wouldhave waited. But cant take back the past but I love my kids.
Must bea guy thing , there theory on what it means to take care of kids. Providing them with things bought with money , material things. Not love. I just had this argument with my husband alil bit ago. A divorce might be in my future , depending what time he decides to come through the door. I think id rather him sit there and play comp games , he had world of warcraft lol but I got mad he spent like 6-8 hrs playing it. At least he was home. Hopefully it works out better for you and your situation then mine has so far. But I know exactly how you feel lmao wich really sucks
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replied January 19th, 2007
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If you girls aren't happy with your guys then just dump the losers. Best thing I ever did Smile
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replied January 19th, 2007
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beckster06 wrote:
if you girls aren't happy with your guys then just dump the losers. Best thing I ever did Smile


beck how long has it been since you ended it? I remmeber when you were complaing about him and then next thing I knew he had a gf! How are you holding up?
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replied January 19th, 2007
Experienced User
I think it has more to do with the dynamic in the guy's childhood home...If his father was hands on with the kids then chances are he will be hands on with his kids....., I also think that in some cases maturity plays a significant role as well.

But I know its not a guy thing in general because my father is a very nuturing guy, he did all the stuff like changing the diapers, bathing us, feeding us, ironing our clothes ....When we got older it was him who used to take us out on outings like the roller skating rink, movies, out for pizza everything.

My husband and a few of my uncles are the same way, very hands on. As a matter of fact my husband tried to teach me how to clean the baby with one wipe after he pooped because he had so much experience with his two daughters (cause I was using practically a half a box of wipes just for one poopy diaper)
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replied January 19th, 2007
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I can't stand the one wipe thing. My mom tried to show me but I felt like his bum (chu's) and my hands were dirty. I'll continue to gleefully use 5-6 wipes per messy diaper! I'm obsessive like that...
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replied January 19th, 2007
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tigresacanela24 wrote:
i can't stand the one wipe thing. My mom tried to show me but I felt like his bum (chu's) and my hands were dirty. I'll continue to gleefully use 5-6 wipes per messy diaper! I'm obsessive like that...


lol, Laughing that's the reason why I said "he tried" cause it just wasn't happening, that's like trying to teach me how to wipe my own butt with one sheet of .T.P.
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replied January 19th, 2007
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foxy wrote:
tigresacanela24 wrote:
i can't stand the one wipe thing. My mom tried to show me but I felt like his bum (chu's) and my hands were dirty. I'll continue to gleefully use 5-6 wipes per messy diaper! I'm obsessive like that...


lol, Laughing that's the reason why I said "he tried" cause it just wasn't happening, that's like trying to teach me how to wipe my own butt with one sheet of .T.P.


lmao!!! I told my mom that one wipe is just nasty! Love the comparison!!
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