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Troubled Relationship

Well, my son's father whom I have been with for 4 yrs. Has decided that he wants to go out and mess around before he commits to marrying me. This has been very, very frustrating for me. I did agree to it at first. (which was very dumb) that was before he amended the agreement and said that "you have to get to know these girls first before u get in bed with them". I told him that I did not agree with that and that I wanted him to stop. Crying or Very sad of course he hasn't. He says that he really wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he has to get this stuff out of his system before he can actually marry me. I feel that he is really taking advantage of me. True, I know about what he is doing, and he tells me everything that he does, even asks me if he can call the chick, but I feel really hurt. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad I am beyond hurt. I mean I have to deal with him waking up calling her, txting her during the day, when he comes home from work, he's calling or texting her, he calls her when I go to work at night... It goes on & on. Does it ever end?? Question he says that i'm the one that he sleeps with everyday, she knows about me too. He visits her in indiana every other weekend and stays all night. She sends him home with hickeys all on his body. I just don't know what to do anymore. Evil or Very Mad I absolutely, really love this guy and this is how I get treated. What do I do??? I want to leave him, but then again I don't cause he's my son's father and I have a fear of starting all over this late at my age, 33. Please help me, I feel like i'm going crazy!
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replied January 5th, 2007
Experienced User
Re: Troubled Relationship
First... Love the screename Smile [jk]

wowzers....! What are you doing, hun?? You have to be not only mad at yourself- but him too. *sigh*

i know how that is.

Alright...Just because you told him he could---back up--why in the hell did he ask you to begin with??! That is *not* what you ask of someone you love!! That's crazy!! Secondly... He took you seriously- when you told him he could?? The fact that he acted on it....Proves he doesn't respect you or love you or his son. What kind of "future" husband does that to his family?!?!?????

Get that out of his system..?? That's what high school is for!! Let's see how much he'll care about this: change your locks to your house/apartment- move out- whatever you need to do to leave- do it. Do not tell him... Do not warn him... Do it while he is banging that hillbilly. Then... Call and tell him. That he might as well stay, since he isn't welcomed home... And he won't be able to enter, either.

Love does not include greed. Dont' feel like you have to marry this pr*ck because he had a child with you. In fact- look at your child. I am sure he is hurt that his father doesn't want to be with him or you, he'd rather play around with some toothless bimbo. What if he brought you home a lovely surprise... Hum... Like mine did- an std?

Then how would you feel? I am sorry to be so cruel... But I have to be. This isn't right. Your gut is telling you something... Listen to it! I wish I had earlier.. But now every day for the rest of my life.. .I will remember what my ex did to me and my health.

And age doesn't matter...What matters is you and your son. Do you want your son growing up and watching how his father belittles you- and women in general? That other woman... It will hit her too. She can't get a decent man..She has to share? Where's her self-respect? More importantly...Where's yours?

Pm me anytime. Good luck... And remember- look at your son. Do you want him to end up like his father?

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