I know u guys get this alot. Its a question ive been struggling with..Sometimes it seems like ive been fooling myself. Im 17 and I think im losing my mind sometimes. I worry about other peoples opinions of me alot.. I think about it too much. At times...I think im crazy. I start thinking horrible thoughts about myself. So much that it hurts literally to look at myself. I get frustrated about my own thoughts. I want to cry when I think about writing them down because it seems like their so stupid. Its like I dont even have any thoughts..They seem so clouded. I feel like im not being myself. I hate who I was in the past. So I really dont have anything to look back on. Sometimes I wish I could disapear..If it wasnt for my family....I would. I hate me..
I used to feel like I had split personalities..I used to read stuff I used to had written and it dint even seem like myself....
I hate the way I think...
I dont know how to explain it...
I go through so many mood swings..
I have trouble talking to people...Its like I cant just talk...So I just sit there in the back ground
my self esteem so low right now....Ive been pretending for awile that everythings okay but its so not. I hate myself...I want to better myself but it seems so hopless...I dont like who I am...If I know that person at all...Its like I act different around different people and I hate it...I hate talking to people I dont know...I cant hol conversations at alll....Am I just trippin..Am I normal for feelinf these feelings...Is it a part of being a teenager...I hope so....But I doubt it..No one should feel the way I feel about themselves.'
i feel so ugly on the inside...Even though I look half decent.
Someone tell me something to help me....
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replied December 8th, 2006
Its Normal
Trust me, you are not the only one that has had these feelings. I have been throught the same exact thing. It's all part of maturing, and trying to figure out who you are, especially in social situations. You may not be a very social person, and I don't find anything wrong with that because I am not very social either. I just recently had my 23 b-day, and I am still not a social butterfly. Not all people are ment to be. I still worry about saying dumb things to my friends, or looking stupid in general but not very often. But I realized that people talk to me because they like who I am. They *don't* think that what I am saying is dumb or weird, and I shouldn't worry so much about what I say. I think you are in the same situation. Realize that people *like you for who you are* and that you are a great person to be around, you're just a little confused right now. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Do you have a job, or any thing you can do in a social setting? I found that the best way to get over all of the feelings that you are having is when I got a job in retail. In retail you *have* to talk to people, you *have* to be confident and believe in yourself. It took lots of time and a couple of jobs, but I am finally confident enough to walk up to *anybody* and carry on a conversation without feeling silly or worring about what the other person is thinking about me.
It all takes time and some sef-confidence. You'll make it. Smile
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replied July 21st, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
Your symptoms are consistent with borderline personality disorder. I would suggest you psychotherapy sessions like CBT to combat this problem.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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