Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

I Really Messed Up But Couldnt Know It

Crying or Very sad
when my girlfriend and I started to date I did not tell her right away that I had had unprotected sex with someone else before her, I did tell her though. She recently developed symptoms of hpv, or genital warts. Of course she is blaming me since I was the only partner she has ever had. If I have it I didnt know at the time. And when I went to get tested at planned parenthood they told me that there was no test for me to see if they have it or not.

She now feels like she cant trust me and I have basicly ruined her life. She says she still loves me but I dont think we will ever get back together.

I am wanting to know from a womens point of view, how would you react, and what could I have done differently.

I wanted this girl to be my wife one day and to know that I broke her heart makes me want to die.

Heartbroken
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replied February 2nd, 2004
Experienced User
Unprotected Sex
With so many stds out there and so many diseases, always,always,always,always have protection. I would not trust you either. She may eventually forgive you, but give her time. Wink
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replied February 3rd, 2004
Dear Brokenhearted
I had to respond to your posting. The very same thing happened to me. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend (ex now) and two weeks later I develped hpv symptoms. He had told me that he had never had unprotected sex before and I believed him. I felt disgusted and betrayed. I didn't love him, and our relationship wasn't worth repairing. So I broke up with him. I haven't slept with anyone since then (it happend about five months ago). I'm terrified about what I might contract from someone else and the whole experience eliminated my sex drive. The thing of it is I never told him that he gave it to me. I was worried that he might confide in one of his big mouthed friends and peopel would start talking about. I know that is kinda selfish, but I don't really care.

It sounds like you really love your girl. If I really loved my boyfriend and saw a future, I could see me working through it with him. Get back to me...I'll answer any other questions if you need me to
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replied February 18th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Well, to the above post, you should tell him, because he may not even know! He can go and give it so someone else without even knowing it. There are a lot of std's that show few or no symptoms especially in men.
This is what you could have done differently: use protection!
Obviously you knew there was a chance you were infected with something because you had previous sexual experiences. She, however, was with you and only you and now she has to pay for that for the rest of her life. I doubt you gave it to her on purpose and I am sure that she knows that you didn't mean to, but that doesn't make it go away. If you two are in love then maybe you will get back together, but it will take her a heck of a lot to forgive you.
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replied May 21st, 2004
Experienced User
Hi
You ask for the truth here it is... I will react the same way... What would be better ? Use some condoms and you will not get all kinds of nasty things . Btw did you tell her that you want her to be your whife one day? This is just a little tip for you, she might rethink that but don't you lie to her if you dont really mean it please don't break her heart you already gave her some nasty hpv.

Gooood luck to you
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