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Last edited by red_rose1 on November 12th, 2006 06:51 PM; edited 1 time in total
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replied November 9th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
My mother doesn't know how to get anything she wants without guilt and manipulation. She always plays the victim, does not hesitate to lie if she thinks it'll suit her needs, and is one of the most dramatic people .I've ever met. So I understand some of where you're coming from first-hand.

Your child's future is your burden, not hers. It's a major responsibility and decision, and she should respect that enough to back off when you ask her to. This is hard enough without her preaching to you about how you're ruining her life, when you're trying to do what you feel is best for her.

The more you give in for the sake of keeping peace, the more she'll learn she can get her own way if she keeps on pulling this crap. I would stick to your word and stay there. If she doesn't have enough self-control to respect your wishes, she has no right to "demand" anything from you or your child.

I know you'll do what you think is right. If you ever need to talk, you can always pm me or contact me through myspace.
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replied November 9th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
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replied November 9th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
You are not being unreasonable at all. Although she is your mother, you are a mother, too. &.You have every right to make decisions on your own without her being pushy &manipulative. That's not her place to decide what you do with your child's life. I can't believe how some adults can act so childish. I would've done just what you did, .Tanya. She needs to understand that it isn't her place, &that you are this child's mother, she isn't. Just because you're young doesn't make you any less of a mother, or any less capable of making up your own mind.
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replied November 10th, 2006
Experienced User
Tanya, my dad is exactly the same!
He always wants to help and be involved; like, if i've had a fight with my friend, he insists that I tell him. And even if I say, "no, I don't want to talk about it", he gets mad, and starts saying that avoiding it is not the answer, blah blah blah. He doesn't understand that I don't always want to talk to him about certain thing.
Then he tries to guilt me, saying, "oh, i'm sorry, i'll never talk to you about things again, your life can be free of me irritating you, do whatever you want, and don't try to do the right thing or get help from people who know."
it's hard for parents to understand sometimes. I bet your mom wants so badly to be a good mother to you, and to be involved with you very difficult situation right now that she's a bit too close for comfort. Just try to explain how you feel calmly, and if she still doesn't get it, well, this is still your baby, and you have the right to tell her to back off.
And no, you're not being unreasonable.
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replied November 10th, 2006
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replied November 10th, 2006
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We love you, .Tanya.

The one good thing that comes from having a mother like this, is that when you're raising your own little girl (if you end up keeping her, that is) you know exactly what not to do. Alyvia is already smothered with love, because I want her to know she's loved, and not have to chase after me for attention, like I had to do with my own mother.

Your little one is so lucky.
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replied November 10th, 2006
Experienced User
Okay, I get what you're saying.

In that case, you get to be the mature one, and do what you think is right. I think that you have great judgement (from what I know of you), and you don't need to deal with your mom's sh*t.
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replied November 10th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
My grandma sounds exactly like your mom. She is very selfish and maipulative and likes to get ther own way. She is constantly trying to make my mum feel guilty and like she is a bad parent when in reality it is her who is the bad parent.

You definatley did the right thing. She needs to know she can't control you. She is trying to treat you like a little kid when you are a young mature woman who has a child of her own on the way.

Good look tanya- stick it out sweetie!
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replied November 10th, 2006
Advanced Support Team
If she cared at all she would be the one to fly out to you.After all you are the one that is pregnant and flying isnt always the best thing to do if you are pregnant. It is your body your baby your decision aas to what you do and want to do .Dont let her get her way stand strong hun I feel for you I am in my early 30s and my mom still treats me like im an incompatint 6 year old like I cant choose what is the best way to raise my 3 kids. Good luck hun only you can choose what is best for you. Prayers your way for strength.
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