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Husband doesn't want to go to Therapy with me...what can I d

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Me and my husband have been married for 2 and a half years know each other for almost 4 years now. We have a three and a half year old and an almost one and a half year old. We have been having communication problems for about three years now ever since we had our first child. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders. I have trued to commit suicide once while knowing him. We have always been bad at communication. I feel most of the communication issues are my fault. i grew up in a non communicative family. i don't know really how to express my feelings until they are so bottled up that they explode into a fight. We seem to always aruge about the same problems in our relationship. He claims that i'm a messy slob and have disgusting hygine. i take showers on a daily basis and i feel that as far as the messiness is concerned i clean the house once a week take care of our 2 children try and do the dishes and give the boys a bath and keep the house tidy. i have been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now it is a cognative therapy but doesn't seem to be working well for me. i am on cymbolta and niravam for depression and anxiety. we both have full time jobs and he has some medical/physical problems of his own but he keeps claiming that i'm not trying to change and that he's not going to change his bad habbits until i have proven to him that things have changed... i feel that it is pointless for me to change knowing that he is not going to attempt to change. i will try and do all of the things that he asks me to do for about a week or two but after noting changing on his part i seem to fall back into my old habbits of not communicating and being withdrawn. what do you think i should do he claims that he will go to therapy with me but he has only gone once and says that he doesn't have time for it and we had talked about therapy again last week and he made the comment of "Well i already know what they are going to say". What sould i do i don't want to be a mother to him and tell him he has to go.

Confused and at witts end


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replied October 17th, 2006
Troubled & Abusive Relationships Answer A1648
According to your question, it seems to me that you and your husband are BOTH experiencing psycho-emotional problems. At least you understand that there is something wrong and are seeking medical help. Good for you! The problem is that your husband is not aware that he also needs help from a mental health professional. You can attempt to persuade him to join you when going for treatment. Otherwise, focus on yourself and heal from the inside. There can be no peace outside unless there is peace inside, first.
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