The other night my gf's friends invited us out to hang out at a bar. There were a lot of random friends there that they all knew. My gf told me there were a lot of people she hadnt seen in a while and wanted to hang out and talk to them. I was cool with that and I gave her space to dance and do whatever she wanted without being in her way the whole time. I talked to other people that were there and was having a good time.

After a good amount of time of not talking to her she came over and told me that a male coworker of hers would be coming out and that I shouldnt worry. She had talked about the coworker with her bestfriend earlier in the night and mouthed his name so that I wouldnt hear it, but I knew what she said and I called her on it at this point. She said I didnt have to worry.

This guy shows up and eventually she introduced me. My gf flirted with this guy and ignored me for a good hour until one of her roommates went over and told her that it was a messed up thing to do. I was hurting because she looked so happy and interested in this guy all while ignoring me. Her bestfriend came over to see if I was ok and I wound up talking to her about the situation for a long time. My gf continued to talk to this guy and ignored me.

When this guy went to the bathroom I tried to talk to her and my gf told me she needs space, apparently even though weve been together 8 months and everythings great, she cant control herself when it comes to flirting and would rather break up with me than just stop flirting with other guys. Said she feels guilty and doesnt want to hurt me.

At this point I was freaking out and I looked to her bestfriend for help since she was the only one I could really talk to and consider her a friend of mine. I continued to talk about my problem with her that night and felt really down and out. She was feeling really bad for me and I was thanking her for listening to me. Then out of nowhere she kissed me and at that moment my gf had come up the stairs and saw us. She then ran back downstairs, grabbed her bag and left in tears. I tried to explain that I wasnt kissing her friend and she wouldnt hear it, a bouncer told me to leave her alone. (a few months prior to me meeting my gf I had gone to a party and her bestfriend was trying to hook up with me but I was not interested).

After she left her friend told me everything would be ok and then went on to tell me how my gf once slept with a guy that she was going out with and theres no way she could be mad at what happened. This info disturbed me.

Anyhow, the next day we got together to talk it out and I assured her that I wasnt kissing her friend, but she saw what she saw and she cant get it out of her mind. On the flipside, she told be that she had interest in her male coworker and actually came upstairs to find her friend so the 3 of them could go to another club. She said she wasnt even concerned with me at that point. She went on to say that the coworker doesnt like her and she was just interested in flirting and wanted to hang out. I think shes a bad drunk and I am shocked that she could do this to me.

She went on to say that she has a hard time being monogamous even though she loves me and doesnt want to lose me. I asked her how shes dealt with this with other guys and told me how she cheated on her last boyfriend during the first few months of their relationship.

I dont know what to do, I love her and weve had a great relationship but she seems to not know what she wants. She doesnt want to lose me, but she also claims she needs to flirt with people (possibly low self esteem), I on the other hand was a virgin before going out with her and so I feel like an infant when it comes to this stuff and I wonder if im just hanging on for comfort or if I should really ditch this and move on. I love her, but if she has to think about what she should do than maybe shes not the girl for me.

Anyone have any advice or questions?
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replied September 26th, 2006
Experienced User
Yeah if you like being a doormat and getting walked all over, keep with this girl.

If you dont mind her fooling around on you, then keep going. She has warned you that she has and will cheat. So, if you stay with her, you are going to have to accept that she will being screwing around.

Better be using a condom.

Sorry for your hard luck, but if you do not want to have any more hurt, leave her.

This is a no brainer. What this takes is to realize you do not need to hurt yourself while looking for a partner that will make you feel good. She cant, so just move on. Yes it sucks, but dont get hung up on the pain. A little pain now, will be much better than all the pain and frustration she is going to give you.

Stay away from her friend too, she has the same values as your gf. Both of them are just playing games on you dude, and every other man. They are players.

Be warned.
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replied September 26th, 2006
I totally agree with makoto!!!!!!!
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replied September 26th, 2006
I totally agree with makoto!!!!!!!
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replied September 26th, 2006
Experienced User
Yes, I totally agree too!

In fact, if I were in your position and my gf was talking to another guy and ignoring me for such a long time, I would have walked out right then and there.

She sounds like a [tramp] to me. Forget about her and move on. It will be hard but you will be happy you did so in the long run.

Good luck and sorry to be so blunt.
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replied September 27th, 2006
Experienced User
I'm sorry that happened.; it was wrong. I know because I tend to be a little of a "flirt" myself but I would never leave my man or want space...She seems she doesn't know what she wants...You should give her space. I think you should be the one too say "i think we need space" that will make her worried because your recomending it...If its meant to be it will be hun.I would back off of her for awhile, she will realize what she had. Best of luck
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