Medical Questions > Abortion > Abortion Pro Choice Forum

My Grandmother Wanted Me Aborted...

My mother conceived me at 19. My father's mother wanted her to have an abortion but my mother did not want to and kept me. So what if I had been aborted? (i wouldn't be typing this of course) at least I wouldn't have to experience the suffering and pain of life. For those of you who aren't pro-choice and are pro-life. Think about this. Did the baby ask to live? No. Would you really want it to go through the pains of suffering of life? So far in my life the good hasn't outweighed the bad of my life. Is life really worth living? When you are just going to die anyway? What in life is so important that one needs to be born and live for? Experience things in life? When you will just forget all of it anyway? It really should be the babies choice if it wants to live or not, but they have to rely on their conceivers decisions which may not be what they would have wanted if they could think of things like that before they were born.
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replied August 12th, 2006
Experienced User
The depressive in me totally understands what you are saying but I don't think it's fair for you to use your own life as a yardstick to measure the pointlessness or not of everyone else's lives.

What stops you killing hundreds of people and then killing yourself if none of it really matters anyway? If it will all be forgotten in death? You can't say the law because you will be dead and the law can't touch you.
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replied August 12th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Now; lay off for a moment; thsi is finally a different point of view. However while you may feel that you life has been hard, you were wanted, and although that may not have been the best choice, it was made, and now those who are living should be grateful (in a totally non-religious way, i'm buddhist) that they have life. And you have to make the best of it. You can be the voice of the child who should have been aborted; but in the end, you have life, so always be glad for that.

Hopefully you will be able to help a woman who is unsure whether or not to abort, and give your story, and remind her that no matter what pro-life says, there are children who are born and who are not raised in the best of conditions! She hears plenty of pro-life stories about people who weren't aborted and who are "oh so happy" bla bla bla... Well here you are, an example of someone who's life wasn't cherries and pie.


Still, rise above whatever it is you think you should or have to be, an become more. You've been given this chance, for better or for worst; and the most heinous crim is wasting it.
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replied August 12th, 2006
Experienced User
eiri wrote:
now; lay off for a moment; thsi is finally a different point of view.


i wasn't having a go - when I wrote 'what stops you from killing...' I was not directing it at the poster but at everyone. Perhaps a more accurate way of writing it would have been to say 'what stops one from killing...'
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replied August 15th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
raziel1687 wrote:
my mother conceived me at 19. My father's mother wanted her to have an abortion but my mother did not want to and kept me. So what if I had been aborted? (i wouldn't be typing this of course) at least I wouldn't have to experience the suffering and pain of life. For those of you who aren't pro-choice and are pro-life. Think about this. Did the baby ask to live? No. Would you really want it to go through the pains of suffering of life?
the usual "prolife" response would be that at least you were given a chance at life, no matter how bad you feel it's been. The "prolifers" in my family have this very unrealistic, idealistic view of life because they have had it so good, they are incapable of seeing this issue from the point of view of someone who wishes that they had never been born.

this blinds them not only in a discussion about abortion but in a lot of other discussions as well including many different social programs. Since they have had it so good, they don't understand what it is like for people who do not and thus, they tend to believe that everyone can have a life like the one that they are living forgetting that they started with so much more and also forgetting that they have been incredibly lucky. The priviledges that we have, however few or many, blind us to people's lives and experiences who have less or nothing at all.

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so far in my life the good hasn't outweighed the bad of my life. Is life really worth living?
I am sorry that you have not had a good life. You are not alone in that. But, I have to agree with eiri. None of us asked to be born when we were and to whom. But we can't give up. We just have to continue on, work hard, and hope that things improve.
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it really should be the babies choice if it wants to live or not, but they have to rely on their conceivers decisions which may not be what they would have wanted if they could think of things like that before they were born.
i think this is an interesting concept. I almost wish it were possible because then children would finally only be born in situations where they are well cared for. Too bad the real world can't work that way.

I wish you a better life and more time to contemplate your place in it, raziel. Best of luck.
Peace,
jenn
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replied September 2nd, 2006
Are you feeling suicidal by any chance? I am sorry you feel the way you do. I can relate I have had times (sometimes going on for a week or more) that I wish my mother had aborted me but then I am thankful she didn't.
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replied September 6th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I think this post should be moved to depression and suicidal tendancies. Your very gloomy....Life sucks at times and its amazing other times..But I seriously would recommend some paxil ....It works wonders!
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replied September 11th, 2006
emma2 wrote:
i think this post should be moved to depression and suicidal tendancies. Your very gloomy....Life sucks at times and its amazing other times..But I seriously would recommend some paxil ....It works wonders!



i think your response was very inappropriate. She had a hard life and was speaking out about it. Many childern whos parents choose not to abort have beat their children, ignored them, neglected them........She was just stating that she is hurting really bad and her point on life. She may be gloomy but atleast she is talkign about it instead of killing herself or others. That is what communticaiton is. When you say stuff like you did in your post your telling other woman that you don't care and that they should keep their feelings to themselves. She was not insulting anyone but yet you insulted her.

Do you have children of your own? Is that how you would respond to your child? Or anyone elses? If my child spoke out and felt that way I would hope that if he/she didn't feel they could come to me then they would find an outlet for their feelings. She did and you just slamed the door in her face. That just makes no sence to me at all.
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replied October 25th, 2006
Experienced User
Just a short reply: what a fantastic way of putting things! Pro-lifers bang on about "foetuses are not asking to die" - well, hey, "foetuses are not asking to live"!
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replied October 31st, 2006
Experienced User
Re: My Grandmother Wanted Me Aborted...
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replied October 31st, 2006
Experienced User
kypros wrote:
just a short reply: what a fantastic way of putting things! Pro-lifers bang on about "foetuses are not asking to die" - well, hey, "foetuses are not asking to live"!


what if they could ask? Forget about either, prolifers or prochocers.... Just imagine for a moment that we can hear them say something. What woudl that be?
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replied October 31st, 2006
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replied October 31st, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Eugenia hun... This section of the forums is for pro-choice people only, that's why it's labled as such. I am the moderator of this forum. This is counting as your first notice. Please, please read the rules of the forums, okay? You are a wonderful person, I can tell from your posts and you do seem to genuinely care. I'd hate to have to delete any posts of yours because they are more often than not filled with caring and good advice.
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replied October 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
patiencekea wrote:
emma2 wrote:
i think this post should be moved to depression and suicidal tendancies. Your very gloomy....Life sucks at times and its amazing other times..But I seriously would recommend some paxil ....It works wonders!



i think your response was very inappropriate. She had a hard life and was speaking out about it. Many childern whos parents choose not to abort have beat their children, ignored them, neglected them........She was just stating that she is hurting really bad and her point on life. She may be gloomy but atleast she is talkign about it instead of killing herself or others. That is what communticaiton is. When you say stuff like you did in your post your telling other woman that you don't care and that they should keep their feelings to themselves. She was not insulting anyone but yet you insulted her.


Do you have children of your own? Is that how you would respond to your child? Or anyone elses? If my child spoke out and felt that way I would hope that if he/she didn't feel they could come to me then they would find an outlet for their feelings. She did and you just slamed the door in her face. That just makes no sence to me at all.



i went through some really bad expierences at age 12, I ran away from because my dad had hit me. I went through multiple down time/hard times got into drugs and stuff, got abused some more and my mom did exactly what your saying emma.


Here "jess" take another paxel well f*ck that, my mom kept bringing me to a shrink, she couldnt figure out why my marks were dropping at achool all I needed was someone to talk to, who wouldnt baby me!

So anyways they told me I was bipolar/schizophrenic with manic depression in the end when I said enough at 17 I was removed from all those godamn pill and was finally allowed to live my life!


Listen,emphasize but do not pity and giveng paxel isnt a !**@! cure

sorry gals that one touched a soft sopt
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replied October 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
patiencekea wrote:
emma2 wrote:
i think this post should be moved to depression and suicidal tendancies. Your very gloomy....Life sucks at times and its amazing other times..But I seriously would recommend some paxil ....It works wonders!



i think your response was very inappropriate. She had a hard life and was speaking out about it. Many childern whos parents choose not to abort have beat their children, ignored them, neglected them........She was just stating that she is hurting really bad and her point on life. She may be gloomy but atleast she is talkign about it instead of killing herself or others. That is what communticaiton is. When you say stuff like you did in your post your telling other woman that you don't care and that they should keep their feelings to themselves. She was not insulting anyone but yet you insulted her.


Do you have children of your own? Is that how you would respond to your child? Or anyone elses? If my child spoke out and felt that way I would hope that if he/she didn't feel they could come to me then they would find an outlet for their feelings. She did and you just slamed the door in her face. That just makes no sence to me at all.



oh shut up...You are such a f-ing idiot....She needs paxil...And thats opening a door not closing it...
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replied October 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
diamondsz wrote:
patiencekea wrote:
emma2 wrote:
i think this post should be moved to depression and suicidal tendancies. Your very gloomy....Life sucks at times and its amazing other times..But I seriously would recommend some paxil ....It works wonders!



i think your response was very inappropriate. She had a hard life and was speaking out about it. Many childern whos parents choose not to abort have beat their children, ignored them, neglected them........She was just stating that she is hurting really bad and her point on life. She may be gloomy but atleast she is talkign about it instead of killing herself or others. That is what communticaiton is. When you say stuff like you did in your post your telling other woman that you don't care and that they should keep their feelings to themselves. She was not insulting anyone but yet you insulted her.



Do you have children of your own? Is that how you would respond to your child? Or anyone elses? If my child spoke out and felt that way I would hope that if he/she didn't feel they could come to me then they would find an outlet for their feelings. She did and you just slamed the door in her face. That just makes no sence to me at all.



i went through some really bad expierences at age 12, I ran away from because my dad had hit me. I went through multiple down time/hard times got into drugs and stuff, got abused some more and my mom did exactly what your saying emma.



Here "jess" take another paxel well f*ck that, my mom kept bringing me to a shrink, she couldnt figure out why my marks were dropping at achool all I needed was someone to talk to, who wouldnt baby me!

So anyways they told me I was bipolar/schizophrenic with manic depression in the end when I said enough at 17 I was removed from all those godamn pill and was finally allowed to live my life!



Listen,emphasize but do not pity and giveng paxel isnt a !**@! cure

sorry gals that one touched a soft sopt



its paxil first of all and it is a start. Stop acting like some lunatic jess....Its for depression and a few people I know take it and it helped them and actually saved one of my suicidal friend....Chill out a have a glass of wine!
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replied October 31st, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I think the point here is that the girl needs a psychiatrist to talk to first, and to determin if she even needs drugs. Maybe she just needs a shoulder to cry on.
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replied October 31st, 2006
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replied October 31st, 2006
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eugeniabrown wrote:
kypros wrote:
just a short reply: what a fantastic way of putting things! Pro-lifers bang on about "foetuses are not asking to die" - well, hey, "foetuses are not asking to live"!


what if they could ask? Forget about either, prolifers or prochocers.... Just imagine for a moment that we can hear them say something. What woudl that be?


you wouldn't get a response because foetuses would neither be able to understand the question "do you want to live?" nor would they be able to reply to it.

Kypros.
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replied November 1st, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
kypros wrote:
eugeniabrown wrote:
kypros wrote:
just a short reply: what a fantastic way of putting things! Pro-lifers bang on about "foetuses are not asking to die" - well, hey, "foetuses are not asking to live"!


what if they could ask? Forget about either, prolifers or prochocers.... Just imagine for a moment that we can hear them say something. What woudl that be?


you wouldn't get a response because foetuses would neither be able to understand the question "do you want to live?" nor would they be able to reply to it.


Kypros.
i can imagine my own and my husbands.

Mine: hey fetus. If your mother chooses to have you and you don't have any genetic deformities, your presence doesn't threaten her health or life, and you remain healthy enough, your life will consist of the following: an average childhood in a middle class home and neighborhood, a painful divorce and bloody custody battle, a new loving home in a wealthier community with an attentive mother and stepfather, fantastic high school with tons of opportunites for a girl with her parents credit card, good college, lovely wedding, supportive husband, good credit, nice home of your own, savings, travel, etc. Would you like that?

My husbands: hey fetus. If you mother chooses to have you and you don't have any genetic deformities, your presence doesn't threaten her health or life, and you remain healthy enough, your life will consist of the following: poverty, hunger, neglect, sickness, preventable disease, abuse, lack of opportunity at the same high school because you don't have the money to pay for the extras, meet a lovely young woman, live at her house for the remainder of your high school days because your father decides that you are cramping his pimp/playboy image and kicks you out at 16, have a strained relationship with both parents for as long as the eye can see, battle with weight issues when there finally is enough food to eat, good college thanks to the kindness of someone elses parents, supportive wife, good credit, nice home of your own even though your dad always puts it down when you see him, savings, travel, etc. Would you like that?

My husband has said several times that if he could have chosen not to be born, that he would have made that choice because for all of the good that has happened in the past six years, there was two decades of horror.

Not everyone who is alive is happy that their parents bumped uglies and decided to keep what resulted from that. It is supremely naive to believe that any life is better than no life at all, especially when people are suffering as much as they are.
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