Im awake, wide awake...

Im so mad at my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years our problems is my past (before him, friends,boyfriends). So we run into people I know and everytime all the questions start rolling in...Well where do you know him from, explain, did you have sex with him, o so did you go with him.
Example, today we had a nice day at the beach w/ my girlfriend, mom, and him and there so happened to be a guy there that I knew, but I didnt say anything until my friend went over there and I waved. So my friend went on the jet ski and I was looking around. I went to go see if she got off so we can leave and my boyfirnd looked angry that I went to go look for her and he also said " you gunna hop on with them too". (in a mr. Smart guy way) so we went to dinner with my friend and he was acting stand offish. We got home and my friend left and he just came at me like I was hiding something. Asking me if I go there all the time. "that if he wasnt there would I would of went on the jet ski". And "i was looking around, what were you looking for him??"

and it just edit me off. The insecurity. Ive been with him for 2 years and he still has to ask me all these questions like im under oath. "would i, have i, if he wasnt around, one more question I swear" ahhhh

i see these girls on here and my story isnt half as bad but it makes me angry. Am I taking it over board????
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replied August 7th, 2006
Sounds So Familiar...
Well first off, your boyfriend is very insecure... Then again we all are at one point or another, but he just takes it to an extreme. I think you need to have a straight forward talk with him and tell him that you don't want to put up with it anymore. He can try to change, and he may change, but in my opinion, chances are very slim. He probably feels that you are a very special person in his life and he doesnt want to lose you. He probably also feels like he is competing with your past. He wants to make sure that he is better than everyone else you may or may not have been involved with. Like I said, you have to be straight with him, tell him that you are with him for a reason and if there were someone in your past that you wanted to be with, then you would be with them and not him. But the truth of the matter is that you are with him and there is a reason for that. Explain to him that he has nothing to worry about and that you want him to try and stop bringing up your past or being insecure about every little thing... And if he can't do that then you will have to either move on or live with it. Becuase the truth is, people don't really change to please others, he has to want to change or else he may just change temporarily and then go back to his same old ways... But yeah, thats just my opinion. I hope it works out though. Just let him know: you are with him for a reason and you've stuck with him for a reason, so he has nothing to worry about. :)
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replied August 10th, 2006
Experienced User
He is very insecure and jelous. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I would act the same way. You have every right to be fed up and pissed off because my boyfriend would alway say the same thing "ive been with your almost 4 years and you still have to ask questions and think im leaving you?". What I did was seek therapy, and I also went on medication to help with my anxiety because I was always worried he would leave me, cheat on me etc. My boyfriend has seen a huge change in me in the last 6 months and things that bothered me before no longer do. Your boyfriend has some issues either past childhood issues or just general problems, he needs to speak with someone, because he is a man he probably wont but you can only take so much. If I didnt get help I would have lost the best thing that ever happened to me. If he doesn't change you will have to give him the option to get help or end the relationship. If he cares that much he will do whatever he can to change but he has to realize for himself that he needs help. He wont change on his own hun trust me. I wish you the best of luck you seem like a great girlfriend and you don't deserve to deal with his issues because you did nothing wrong.
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replied June 11th, 2011
Do I need help.
Hey, So if Im secure because my boyfriend always lies to me... would that mean I need professional help? (Just a basic general question) I feel like most of our relationship has depended on lies, which I only found out recently. So I've been real insecure because of the types of people he hangs out with, talks to, is involved with. They all condone him lying to me, treating me badly, ignoring me for videogames (Keep in mind we are both adults) I just am so fed up, don't know what to do anymore.

I will give you an example. I had a huge argument with him because there is this girl that hangs around with everyone's boyfriends and pulls them into cheating on their girlfriends. She's the typical model perfect type that most guys want, I'm not quite like that. I have my flaws, as average females do. She's the absolutely gorgeous super skinny type, I'm the sort of cute short and curvy type.
He was hanging out with her WAY too much, and my Dad actually called me one day and told me he saw them holding hands. (My Dad NEVER lies to me. He's my Dad.)
I confronted my boyfriend and he denied it completely. I asked him to stop hanging out with her (Because I was uncomfortable with it, which I did tell him.) And he got extremely defensive saying I was trying to control what he was doing. I honestly thought by his reaction that I had already lost him to continuing to cheat on me with her.
I get a call from my sisters friends, who really do not have any interest in my life. They are all telling me the same thing. He's been hitting on her, and that he actually made out with her in my sisters friends' garage. He has still denied it to me, and acted strangely suspicious towards me.
It's hard to trust him because he actually has lied to me before. He says one thing then the other several months later, consistently changing his mind. It's getting harder and harder to trust him or want to be with him if I don't even know when he will start being honest.
But really. How do I get him to admit it? I'm not going to yell at him, I don't generally yell... I just want him to admit it, it's hurting me big time that I know it happened and he just wont say anything.
Also. Do you consider kissing or being flirtatious while your girlfriend is pregnant cheating? Or cyber-sex?? Just a general question.
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