Hi everyone...I thought that I should post on here for a change because I normally post on the eating disorder forum.I have suffered from an eating disorder for about a year now.But the thing that caused it was my depression.I used to have tons of friends and loved to go out and have a good time.Well last summer I ended up isolating myself and hated to be around others.I have come along way but I still get nervous and anxious to hang out with old friends or new people.I hate going to social events and being around groups.And my biggest proble lately is that I get so angry.And the person I take it out on is my boyfriend, no one else.I mean yes I can get snoody with others but it is mainly my boyfriend.And most of the time, he doesnt deserve it.I hate doing this to him and myself.See, the way I would get out my anger and other emotions before was through my eating disorder, well now I cant do that. I dont know how to express or deal with emotions so I lash out at him.I really need some advice.I hate this.It is making me hate myself.I already hate myself already.From my personality or my appearence.I feel like such a nasty,bitter person, when I know im really not.If anyone has some advice or can relate please post back.Thanks for reading!
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replied September 2nd, 2006
Oh you know I was starting to be a lot like you but I found zen in working out trust me I have never felt better. Working out will open new doors for you. I felt alive for the fist time. Its good for your body your soul and your mind. Oh yeah thats my magical cure

here is a free website that I joined so I can get help on diet and exersice


sparkpeople.Com

please try it and don't let yourself and everything that you love be driven away because of your anger.

Good luck!
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replied September 6th, 2006
Thank you for your advice.Im actually going to be starting to work out at a gym so I can try and lose some weight.Im hoping I can just exercise normally and not become obssessed with it,ya know?
And I thinki found out why I get so angry at him.Seee im 18 and working on getting my license.He can drive and can go as he pleases.We live together and see each other a lot but it is less than we used to.Maybe im just getting angry because I cant just come and go as he does and dont have as much freedom.Idk if this is it but im just trying to figure out why I get so angry at him.Well pelase write back.Thanks!
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replied September 6th, 2006
Gongratz
Well first off, congratz on getting a hold of you eating disorder!

Us guys can take a lot...But be gentle..Hehe.

The only way you'll overcome your anti socialism is to put yourself I social situations.

I used to be quit good at holding a conversation..Lol. I've been dedicating a lot of time to my business the past 2 years which involves little to no communications with the outside world. I can now barely put 2 sentences together.

Use it or lose it. Fact!
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replied September 7th, 2006
Re: Gongratz
Thanks for your reply.
And im trying to be nicer to my boyfriend.He is the best so im trying to change my ways.
And with the social thing, I am trying to talk more but I just get so nervous.Im scared of what people will think of me,ya know?Im scared of judgement.I want people to perceive me a certain way and im scared they arent going to see me the way I want them too.
And maybe you should try going out with friends more.Do you like to go to clubs or bars or anything.Places where you can socialize.Oh and mentioning bars,lol, I like to drink when I go to social things or when im around new people because it helps me to loosen up.It was actually kind of getting bad for awhile because I would drink a class of vodka with coke or something so I would be more care free just about every night.And then get more alcohol from friends sicne im only 18 after I was already out.
Well def write back.
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replied September 7th, 2006
In And Out
I go in and out of being a social.


I hate to say it but i'll drink to loosen up as well. I'll do it for the first little while until i'm comfortable without.


It really takes practice.


One thing that opened was eyes was a conversation with an older friend of mine. He's super comfortable around chicks. I asked him what the deal was. He said, "you think I was born like this?". He says it's a learned behavior.


Even since then I go for it, no matter how much it hurts! I'll get it eventually. I just keep my eye on the goal.


I go to bars mostly...Clubs not so often
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