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I Think I Am In Love With My Best Friend…

Well, I have been friends with stacy since my junior year of high school. It is a strange story in all because we really knew each other a full year before we officially “met”. We hung out with the same people, at the same time, and had lunch together for a full school year but neither of us remembers each other… we remember specific incidents that one of us initiated but not the person. (and I am really hard not to notice…)

so anyways, after we were officially introduced we became the best of friends! I almost lived at her house, her parents called me their other daughter, and even set a spot at the dinner table for me for the important occasions!!

To this day she is still my closest of friends despite the physical distance of living in different states! I am even very good friends with her husband! I have spent a ton of alone time with him, even spending a week in a hotel room with him while visiting her at boot camp. She was a little wierd at the start but realized who she was dealing with…not only am I the opposite of “his type” but she knows I wouldn’t screw her over like that even if she isn’t totally aware that I am just not into guys…

so anyways…i have found that I am extremely attracted to woman that look like her… shorter then I am, brown hair, green eyes, same basic physical shape…it is uncanny…it took me a long time to realize that I was doing this! Years!

Once I became aware of the similarities I sat down and started thinking about the situation and found that I just don’t see her in any way remotely sexual. She is my best friend and even if she wasn’t married (she is openly bi/curious. She has only been with 1 woman.) I honestly believe that I couldn’t bring myself to do something that might endanger our very close friendship.

I am as close to her emotionally as I have been with any male in a relationship. (i haven’t actually gotten up the courage to go out and get a “girlfriend” yet but I have reached that point…)

i have these urges to give her gift’s as if I were trying to woo her…i know in my logical side that I am not physically attracted to her because I respect her and love her intellect too much but I am wondering if all these urges and confusions mean that I am actually “in love” with her.

I am very confused!

I wouldn’t change my relationship with her for the world because that would mean possibly losing my to closest friends…so why then do I get all butterfly’s-in-my-stomach feeling when I know that I am going to see her…why do I want to send her gifts…can I save my sanity and my friendship with her??

I know that this fanticy of mine could never happen so why can't I get her out of my head???

Anyone have any advice?
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replied September 14th, 2009
broken hearted and depressed
my best friend is with her boyfriend of 5 years and he is definetely not good for her. i told my friend i liked her and how i felt and oh boy did that make things worse. she was bi-curious at the time. i told her i loved her every night. she wanted to know what i fantasized about and since i thought there was a possibility something would happen i liked her more and more. i became more and more attracted to her. i would pay for her everywhere we went. she would let me hold her and we'd fall asleep together. we would go shopping together and she would undress completely in the fitting room for me to see. we were inseparable best friends. once she got back with her boyfriend (they were on a break for a year) things changed. she said she wasn't bi curious anymore and she never really cared. she said she didn't think about how i felt when before she was flattered to hear what i had to say. she broke my heart. even though i was hurt she didnt understand. she said i twisted everything she said. now she's all about her boyfriend who doesn't treat her right at all. yea now im jealous. i cant be around him. we have to hang out separately and each of us fight for more time with her. shes my best friend, i cant leave her. but the pain i have to deal with hurts so bad, i can't get over her. she just thinks im mad i cant be with her but she shouldnt be with the guy shes with. my advice, dont take your actions any further or your feelings will just get worse.
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