I lost my virginity to my current girlfriend when I was 28. She was not a virgin. I never hooked up much in college, and never in highschool. Unfortunately my girlfriend and her friends talk a lot about hooking up and sex and it just makes me feel like I wasted so much of my life. Whats wrong with me, why was I not out there screwing random girls like her friends do with guys? Im really concerned that there was something wrong with me and my friends in college because we werent constantly on the hunt.

My girlfriend was surprised when I told her how many people I had kissed and was like "omg why didnt you kiss anyone?" I guess im just a scrub cuz I thought there should be something there before I start making out with someone.

Now I just feel like a huge loser cuz im old and I havent had sex with anyone else and apparently I shouldve been hooking up a lot more that I did.

I dont want any cliched "virginity is cool responses". Im not religious. Just think I have a confidence problem and I allowed it to ruin my life.

The worst part is that this girl loves me and I love her but I cant shake the fact that shes had sex with other people (never gave me a number which makes me think its high) and I have a lot of jealousy both of the guys she was with and also the fact that she was able to have sex with people and not worry. Youd never know this by looking at her since she looks so innocent. She said she may have done crazy things in her past to try to kill the innocent image. What an idiot.

Im such a loser. I dont know what to do. I feel like ive been robbed because I allowed myself to be freaked out by all the anti sex nonsense with disease and pregnancy. Im such a loser. Losing your virginity at 28 is pathetic. People prolly thought I was gay. Might as well have joined a priesthood.
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replied June 13th, 2006
Well, your not a scrub or a loser, there really is nothing to be ashamed of and some poeple have never gotten laid. For me, I would have no problem with my girlfreind discussing past experiences. She is probably just making conversation. That said, there is a limit such as it being the only topic she discusses. Your confidence is definetly the problem if her past bothers you. You need to dump any jealousy you have and think highly of yourself, including in the bedroom. No whining to her about her past. This will be a huge turnoff to her. Who the hell cares what people thought about you, they are just as insecure about their lives even if they've gotten more. You have to ponder whether or not you truly wanted to be sex maniac or maybe thats just not who you are. Don't worry so much about what other people are doing.

There are many things that contribute to a conservative attidude concerning sex. Diseases, religion, insecurity about ones body, ect. All create a taboo in the minds of some people. Some of these are valid(i was infected with hpv), and some are silly. Don't contradict yourself either. You said that all the anti-sex nonsense was ridiculous, yet then you say she's an idiot for being promiscuous. Find out why this is bothering you, because quite franky, it shouldn't be.

Just enjoy the relationship else whats the point of having it?
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replied June 13th, 2006
Experienced User
Just because you weren't whoring yourself around all those years doesn't mean you wasted your life. Life isn't about sex.
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replied June 13th, 2006
Experienced User
Has sex really been lowered to that level?, its not the most important thing in life tbh and often not having sex often makes when you do far better then if you do it every day
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