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Okay here is my situation. I need to "bond professionally" with this lesbian as my boss call it in order to get the job that I really want. It aint any job but my dream job. The thing is I really find it uncomfortable to try to bond with this lady. She is the kind of lesbian that is very obvious she is and I kind of find hard to bypass that she is lesbian everytime I try to approach her or look at her. I am not homophobic and it is not that I look her in any bad way but I would like to look at her in the way I do to heterosexual people and I find it difficult most of the time. It is no big deal but I would be like to read on your opinions.
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replied March 27th, 2006
Experienced User
Whether you realize it or not, I think you just defined homophobia. Why should you treat her any different?If she's new to the job, she's probably feeling like an outsider already. Be the first to extent a welcoming hand. I mean really, what are you afraid of? :)
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replied March 30th, 2006
spirit wrote:
whether you realize it or not, I think you just defined homophobia. Why should you treat her any different?If she's new to the job, she's probably feeling like an outsider already. Be the first to extent a welcoming hand. I mean really, what are you afraid of? :)
I agree with this. Lesbians are people, just like you. Are you also uncomfortable around people who are visibly of another race or religion? Do you only find comfort around people who are just like you? If so, it's time to broaden yourself.
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replied May 17th, 2006
Experienced User
Think about it this way...

I know quite a few women and men that simply scream gay! Guys that dress well, get manicures, and talk with a lisp yet are 1000% into women. Chicks that hunt, camp, dress in boots or burkinstock sandals, and sometimes even have mullits yet they are 1000% into guys!

Then people look at me and if they think about it too long then their heads explode! I love to hunt and fish and camp but then I get home and put on that dress and makeup...No one knows what to think.

People come in so very many variety's that deciding on anything is a mine field.

And like they said above... What if she were a jew, or catholic, or black, or latino, or in a wheelchair? Would that change how you act around her?

I know that anything that is unfamiliar is scary but she is just as human as you are and that is all that matters!

Don't get me wrong... I am really open minded but still have a hard time around lots of different people. I went really racist against blacks for a good week after my car was broken into, and I have a horrible time dealing with a few family members/friends that are total homophobes. I haven't "come out" or labeled myself or anything but having to sit there and hear them go off about their religous beliefs that say that it is evil is really hard to do. All I can do is say "you are welcome to your opinions but you are adding to the problem." and try to enlighten them that they are no the only person in the world and people hate them as much as they hate gay's!

It will be hard but you just have to learn to cope with her as you have learned to cope with everyone else.

Good luck!
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replied June 22nd, 2006
I agree I hate when ppl label me or my friends. We are who we are and we cant help it. We are ppl to so why should we be treated differently...
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replied June 22nd, 2006
Experienced User
Oh, and if she or your boss exc. Find out that you act differently towards her because she is a lesbian then you could end up in sensitivity training because you are discriminating over something that has no bearing in her work performance... Stupid, I know… but a possibility…

again, just imagine if she were disabled or really showed her religion or something else that makes her “different” then you…

you would know better then to ask the question: “i really hate jews or the disabled exc. How do I deal with her?”

it’s all the same… maybe she doesn’t like you because of what you are? (whatever that might be!)

just a thought...
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replied June 22nd, 2006
avatarofurdreams wrote:
oh, and if she or your boss exc. Find out that you act differently towards her because she is a lesbian then you could end up in sensitivity training because you are discriminating over something that has no bearing in her work performance... Stupid, I know… but a possibility…

again, just imagine if she were disabled or really showed her religion or something else that makes her “different” then you…

you would know better then to ask the question: “i really hate jews or the disabled exc. How do I deal with her?”

it’s all the same… maybe she doesn’t like you because of what you are? (whatever that might be!)

just a thought...






well put
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