Hello. My name is ryan whitaker. Im 19 years old as of fuburary 11th 2006. I'm posting this story because I dont know what to do really. Its a long story but i'll sum it up as much as I can.

About 2 years ago, I started dating this girl, ashley when I began working at mcdonalds with her. I got a job pretty much just to have money and spend it on nothing lol. Me and her hooked up about 2 weeks after I started working there. We both started haning out every day. We stopped hanging out with all of our friends and just started haning out with each other. We drank alot together as most high school kids do. She was 15 and I was 17.

We have had our problems, like I would do something to make her mad and go hang out with a girl she didnt want me to and we would break up and get back together a few days later or something like that. We would always goto her moms house and watch movies, drive around and see each other at work. I have cheated on her a few times, that she doesnt know about. And she never started cheating on me until recently. When we were in high school, we both got put on probation for using marijuana. I was put on a few months before her. We would always fight about not smoking still, but when we were together it seemed it was ok with one-another.

Her parents are divoriced and she got in trouble down here for some stuff and moved to her dads. We broke up over msn when she was up there because what she was saying to me and stuff. She dated a guy up there for 1 month before comming back to my town and we started seeing each other again. After about 1 1/2 years together it seemed like it would be forever. We both started working at pizza hut, she was a waitress and I was a driver. After about 2 or so months of me working there I got a dui and lost my liscence so I couldent work there anymore. She moved out of her house and into an apartment with a roommate(who hates me). We stayed there for a long time and then she broke up with me because of her roomate telling her all this stuff. She started seeing this other driver at pizza hut who I hate. They got together for about a month but we still were seeing each other daily, sleeping together and everything, she would cheat on him but wouldetn break up with him. She got pregneant with his kid and had an abortion about a month after. We got back together again and started seeing each other alot.

A few months ago I got put in jail for 9 days. I got out and everything seemed fine, but I found out she cheated on me with this one guy, and was staying out this other guys house a few days while I was in jail. She told me in the letters she sent me everything was fine and that we should be together and all. When I got out she started lying to me alot. She said she was going to her moms house and would be home at 6:00 or so and I would call over there and she wasnt there, she came home at 6 but lied to me where she was at. The next day she said she was going to her moms house to do laundry and clean her car. I said it was fine and she left. It seemed weird though and I thought she was lying to me. So when, my mom took my sister to youth group I drove by this guys house and saw her car outside of his house. I didnt go up there but I was very upset. She called me around 8:00, the time she said she was going to be at my house, and said she wasnt feeling good and didnt want to drive out to my house. I told her I would get a ride in and take car of her and all this but she said thats ok. Then I asked why her car was at this guys house. She said "we need to talk". This made me cry over the phone to her just knowing she was going to stay at another guys house, after lying to me and all this. I begged her to come out to my house but she wouldent and said we can talk about whats going on later. I went to jail for 3 days and just got released today and found out she is moving in with this guy. This guy is a total loser, he and his roomate live in a trailer in a crappy trailer park and he is like 17, working at taco johns part time. I have a job fulltime doing light construction work and such but it is still better. I dont know what she see's in this guy. She always told me she hated this guy and didnt want to see him. She previously cheated on me with this guy and told me about it so I forgave her.

When we first started going out we never slept together for about 2 weeks. And it was bout a month(pretty quickly) until we started saying "i love you" to each other. We slept together quite a bit. About 1-3 times a day when he saw each other. I swear I love her to death, but i'm trying so hard to get over her. I dont know what she wants. I first thought she did this to make me mad. But after she moved in with him, I dont really know. We have been broken up for over a week now, and I still think about her every day. I try not to but I live in a small town and there isnt much for me to do. My friends are all gone away to treatment programs or college or we dont hang out anymore because all they do is smoke week and I quit that a while ago. Should I call her and try and talk to her?
Is it worth trying to get back together with her? I lost my virginity to this girl and I can't get over her. Please respond with any comment. It helps alot to talk to people about this and read responses. If you have any questions just ask and i'll respond as soon as I can.
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replied February 26th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
I know you're upset. A first love is a really hard thing to get over. However, it seems to me that, in this case, you're going to have to get over her.

Look, you've cheated on her, she's cheated on you, you've gotten in trouble together, you've slept together while you were dating other people... It's just a big mess. The basis of your whole relationship is general teenage hormones and stupidity. (i'm not saying you're stupid, just that teenagers have that oblivious quality going on, you know?)

you have so much negative history with this girl that it seems impossible to me that you could ever have a meaningful relationship. From your story, i'd say she only wants you when it's convenient. Like when she wants to have sex and you're close by. Every time you have been separated for whatever reason, she's wasted no time in finding someone else... Hell, when you were together, she wasted no time. That tells me she doesn't have the feelings for you that you have for her.

My advice: cut the ties while you can. You're not perfect, either, and you've admitted that... But trying to grasp at the straws of whatever's left with this girl is only going to drag you down and break your heart even more. Find someone who will love you, because i'm not thinking it's her.
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replied February 27th, 2006
I think your right. I mean I love her to death still and we have had our problems. We got in trouble and crap, it just kept tearing us apart. She just always has to have someone else with her, she cant be without someone, I dont know if that means anything for a women or anything but it was never just like a breakup, it was always a breakup and she absolutely had to have another guy right away. I appriciate the reply. It helps alot to cope with this. When I was asked along time ago in high school is I thought it was "just dumb puppy love" I guess I should of said yes, would of been less hurtful right now. Its really tough when you lose your virginity to someone to, even for a guy. Got work in the morning, gato get some sleep. If anyone else has an input go for it, but I really apprecite the comment. I think its really true, there are other things to worry about in the world and right now thats the last thing I want to be worried about. Laterz
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replied February 27th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I agree with lalee.She has no respect for you what so ever,cut all ties.
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replied February 27th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Re: 2 Years And Gone...
[quote="whitak3r"]hello. My name is ryan whitaker. Quote]
hey,what state do you live in?
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replied February 28th, 2006
Montana. Pretty lame up here. Nothing to do.

But yeah, I know the relationship is over. Its shitty but oh well gato move on and crap. I know the person she is "dating" now and I can gaurentee that she cant be happy, ive just known her for to long, more of a "im doing this cause I cant be alone and its all I can get" thing.
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replied February 28th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Oh,cause I use to know of a guy with your name that went to my school in florida.He had a brother named sean too : )
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