Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

Anyone Whos Been Divorced........

Can anyone tell me why your marriage didnt work?
I need to hear your situation just so I know what type of common battles i'l be dealing with in such a big commitment because I myself am going to get married and i'm curious of how it is.
So pleaseeeeeee. I need feed back
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replied January 11th, 2006
Key Ingredient
I would say open, honest communication is the key.

My marriage did not work because my wife hide too many things. Her mother was her best friend. It is good to maintain a relationship with your parents, but make your spouse your best friend. Allow them to talk about anything, and then listen.

My opinion.
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replied January 11th, 2006
Experienced User
I Apreciate It
Yeah thats true. I now got a sense of how to make a marriage work and really, thanks for the input.

Ps: I hope your marriage works out.
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replied January 11th, 2006
Mine ended recently.............Lack of open communication.............Thanks anyway..........
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replied February 26th, 2006
I totally agree. Communication is the key. My marriage ended b/c my husband didnt know how to communicate with me, b/c all he had ever seen was that if his parents faught, u just didnt talk to each other for a while, which trust me, is not the answer. U have to be able to talk, fight, argue and be able to make up and be honest about what ever feelings u have and not hide them for whatever reason. Hiding what u feel only causes anomosity towards each other, and trust me that will kill a relationship in no time!! Good luck
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replied February 26th, 2006
I totally agree. Communication is the key. My marriage ended b/c my husband didnt know how to communicate with me, b/c all he had ever seen was that if his parents faught, u just didnt talk to each other for a while, which trust me, is not the answer. U have to be able to talk, fight, argue and be able to make up and be honest about what ever feelings u have and not hide them for whatever reason. Hiding what u feel only causes anomosity towards each other, and trust me that will kill a relationship in no time!! Good luck
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replied March 2nd, 2006
My marriage ended because I we were not right for one another. The chemistry was never there and we were to young and nieve to realize it. We didn't communicate that well either. It ended because he had an affair. We were more like roommates when that took place anyway. I found out about it the hard, painful way. I was so betrayed. But honestly, make sure you can call this person your best friend and laughter is key. If you cannot, then a piece is missing. Also, never ever take your mate for granted. Doing that has detremental effects on a relationship. Good luck!
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replied March 2nd, 2006
mizzpurty28 wrote:
my marriage ended because I we were not right for one another. The chemistry was never there and we were to young and nieve to realize it. We didn't communicate that well either. It ended because he had an affair. We were more like roommates when that took place anyway. I found out about it the hard, painful way. I was so betrayed. But honestly, make sure you can call this person your best friend and laughter is key. If you cannot, then a piece is missing. Also, never ever take your mate for granted. Doing that has detremental effects on a relationship. Good luck!


i am going through the same thing...

Http://ehealthforum.Com/health/topic56940. Html
how do I save my marriege? I love her deeply... But weve been behaving more like roomates...


Not sure what to do.. I am so so so hurt. And I really want to fight hard and save our marriege.
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replied April 5th, 2006
Experienced User
My marriage didn't work, because 1.He was way too old for me I was 17 he was 23 (we started dating when I was 15... What kind of 21 y/o dates a 15y/o?!). Anyways, my parents didn't step in and stop it, so I went through with it. 2. He turned into a jerk as soon as we were legally bound. When I say jerk, that's putting it mildly. He verbally/mentally/physically abused me, and cheated on me in the 10mos that I lived with him as his wife. After I left he cried, and tried to bribe me to come back with the offer of buying me a horse in return. Then he wouldn't sign divorce papers, even though he was engaged to a girl younger than me. Now at 22 i'm still not divorced even though we've been separated for over 4yrs, he's from england so it makes the whole thing a huge mess.

My situation was a rare one though, so please don't let my story worry you.
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replied April 22nd, 2006
Experienced User
Relationships are built on communcation. However, in a marriage, communication takes many forms.

Yes, verbal communication is important and paramount. You need to feel comfortable to talk about anything. There should be nothing you feel guarded in saying to each other. If there is, you need to work through these.

Physical communicatuin us also important. You must learn to talk to each other through your actions and touches. Does she like to be cuddled, held, kissed, etc. Do you like to make love in the morning or night, and it turns out she likes it the other way around. I mean what tells you she wants to make love to you and you to make love to her. It doesn't stop here it goes deeper, but that is another discussion.

Mental communication, is one that is the most difficult, but is the most devastating if it is not detected early, like christa had said, this can appear at any time after the marriage has happened. I have seen it and experienced it. The eyes tell many stories.

So in a nutshell, it is comunication being the key, but it involves all forms. It is not a science, because we use these in our everyday life. What we need to do is to fine tune them for marriage.

I now have a marriage that I have been looking for my entire life. Now that I have found it. I wish this happened 30 odd years ago. Love is a wonderful thing, but it all is based on not just saying the words, but comunicating them is ways you are comfortable.
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replied May 9th, 2006
tony3595 wrote:


i now have a marriage that I have been looking for my entire life. Now that I have found it. I wish this happened 30 odd years ago. Love is a wonderful thing, but it all is based on not just saying the words, but comunicating them is ways you are comfortable.


your lucky to have found it at least.
I am still searching........
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replied May 9th, 2006
Experienced User
Hey there ocean,
you know I thought the same thing. As a matter of fact, I almost gave up entirely. I gave love one more chance to see if it was really ou there. Bam! It happened. I can tell you the whole story, but I don't think there is enough bytes in cyberspace for all of that.
I will though if you want my to. I can condense it down to what I knew what I wanted and what I was looking for.
Your call. Be patient, and open eyed. They are out there.
Tony
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replied May 16th, 2006
My marriage failed because we never communicated our feelings. Eventually it came to a point where we just barely even spoke and when we did it was uncomfortable. In hindsight I now know what I should have done. We both said horrible things to each other and we both had so much anger. If I had tried sooner we would probably be married still and happier. Then again maybe we wouldn't be. She felt unappreciated and so did i.

Here are some things that can make it work smoother.

1. Listen

2. Always always always communicate. If something bugs you tell her about it in a nice quiet way.

3. Be understanding. Women and men both have cycles of emotional change. Could be work related, whatever.

4. Take her out! Don't just set a date night. Be spontaneous and take her out and let her know how special she is

5. Thank her for all the little things such as getting her hair/nails done, laundry if any stuff like that. Women go way out of their way to look good for us.

There is more but these should help out a little bit. These are the top 5 where I screwed up.
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