Medical Questions > Mental Health > Anxiety and Stress Forum

Am I Going to Have to Stop Working?

I am a nurse believe it or not at a hospital. I deal with illness and death on a regular basis. It was a lady's death that began this ordeal with anxiety and a few heart attack patients that just topped it all off. That is where this severe gad with panic attacks began.
I find it hard to go to work, I turn down shifts even though I know I need to go and I want to work I am just scared. I haven't met with my psychiatrist yet and I am wondering if he is going to tell me to take time off work, since that is what I think and feel has triggered this disabling disturbance in my life.
I am scared that I am going to be like this forever, I hate having to turn to ativan to calm me down so I can do the normal things in life. I can understand getting nervous about speaking in front of a large group of people but getting nervous to go grocery shopping or to a family gathering.. It just doesn't add up to me.
My family is getting frustrated and I am afraid that this is going to ruin my relationship with my husband. We have been married for 2 years and everyone knows that the first few years are hard enough but add this onto all the other stresses.
I have been always conscious of what other people think of me, and now I wonder what they must be thinking. "is she crazy or what?"
i am just greatful that this forum is here for me to write down my thoughts and read what others are going through. To just know that I am not alone.
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replied January 3rd, 2006
Experienced User
Hi,

can I just say that you are a strong person to do the kind of job you do, I know I couldn`t do it and its totally understandable what you are experiencing. It`s really traumatic things you are seeing, it`s bound to take its toll at some point. I don`t belive that you will simply get used to seeing those type of traumatic things after all we are all human and you can`t help thinking what your own fate may be.

I think your psychiatrist will help you through all your feelings, he might tell you to not stop working but go to work and show you how you can cope with the anxiety when you are there. Probably the worst thing that you can do is start avoiding situations as you will never go back to them as you will have built up a fear of it.

As for your relationship I know all to well what that is like, my boyfriend was the most terrible support through all my anxiety and he still is. Hes impatient and doesn`t have a clue what it feels like. I don`t even expect them to understand it just be of support and not to question why I feel that way. We are still together but things have definately changed. I don`t feel the same about him any more and I feel that he only wants to know me when i`m well. Of course your married and it`s not so easy to walk away but I think he should be going with you to see your psychiatrist just to open his eyes to what you are feeling.

If you need any other help please let me know, I am no way cured but have tried most things to try and help myself.

Good luck

debs
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replied January 3rd, 2006
Experienced User
Thanks For the Advice.
I am not a quitter, I will keep going to work. I enjoy my job, my day is fullfilled if I go home knowing that I made someone's day just a little easier and or brighter. I know I am a good nurse, so I have been told.
But in times of crisis like a heart attack, I get frightened and want to go hide in a hole.
But in time hopefully all will be well again.
Thank you for your reply.
God bless
justy24
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replied January 3rd, 2006
Experienced User
Post Traumatic Stress
I never considered that a posibility. I will definitely check out the website you referred to. Thank you for the advice/reply. It is appreciated. Every little bit helps.
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